Dyce 4 Hermes 1  (28/08/10)

Over the last 4 season we have never lost 3 games in a row.....thankfully that stat stayed intact after a comfortable victory agaist Hermes. Whilst I was washing the glasses from the pre match refreshments Gav Booth apparently had a chance but Skinny in the Hermes goal saved well. The keeper blocked well again from Gav in the 11th minute but with quarter of an hour played we were ahead. The Ginger One played the ball wide to Scully, and his left peg cross was headed home by BOOTH. The lead lasted about a whole 50 seconds before the visitors were level. The ball broke to SINCLAIR around 30 yards out and he took one look up and leathered a screamer into the top corner. However it took just 5 mins to regain the lead when a decent move ended with Yule chipping the ball through for the GINGER ONE who used his electrifying pace to run through and slot home. Skinny came to his side's rescue again with a good block from Scully, then did well again to save from Yule.....with the rebound being cleared. Hermes' Adams was first in the book for some verbal, and Hendo soon suffered the same fate for a late tackle, although his victim was a tad fortunate to escape after taking offence!

We started the second half on the front foot, with Neil Mur's cross finding the Ginger One and his shot was deflected over (47). From the set piece Yule curled the ball in for GOGS to head home from close in for his collectors item goal for the season. Hermes had a chance at the other end when the ball fell to Campbell, but his shot was more likely to hit one of Newmachar's nets. There was then a spell where we controlled things comfortably enough without adding to the tally, but equally not looking likely to concede anything. in the 70th minute Gav Booth was chopped down by Massie, and took offence which resulted in a bit of handbags between the two of them and both had their names taken as a result. Neil Mur was next in the book, and as usual it was quite a clear cut one! As the game moved into the final quarter hour we sealed the points with a 4th goal. A free kick was flicked on to Gav BOOTH at the far post and he netted from close in. From another free kick soon after we should have had a spot kick when the fluo footed one was taken out as the ball came in but the appeals were waved aside. Even Skinny admitted it was a stonewaller. There was still time for Yule to collect a yellow for a trip, and for Neil Mur to upset the Hermes bench......not sure what happened but they certainly took offence to it. Then in stoppage time just as we thought the game would finish with 22 on the park (unlike the carnage between the sides last season!!) Hermes were reduced to ten when Sincair offered an opinion to the whistler and collected his second yellow of the afternoon. Overall it was a comfortable win and it really could have been more, with Skinny in the visitors goal pulling off several good stops- howver 3 points and 4 goals is more than acceptable!

Ellon Utd 1 Dyce 0  (21/08/10)

With only a point needed to clinch a quarter final place, we made a hash of the task of getting one at Ellon. We may well still make it through as the best runner up, but despite not playing particularly well it's a game that we really shouldn't have lost. Although we hardly overworked Buchanan in the home goal, he was just a tad busier than the old bloke, the only difference being the oldie had to pick one out of the onion bag whilst the home custodian didn't. The game kicked off in fine sunshine, although the stiff wind indicated that the BBC weather man got things wrong or half the crown had been on the curry the night before. The opening quarter hour was a non event, with Buchan's volley for the home side that flew over the first thing that resembled a chance. On 21 the fluo footed one found Ross Duncan 20 yards out. No-one at Dyce has ever seen Ross score, and that statistic really wasn't threatened as his shot was too high. At that point I remembered the camera was in my pocket, but the snaps were woeful so will not appear on the web or in the programme! Craib curled a free kick wide for Ellon, then the fluo footed one did the same at the other end (almost smashing a club window in the process). Just after the half hour saw the days only comical decision. The Ginger One went down the right and over hit his cross which sailed harmlessly out for a throw. With Ellon player in any apparent hurry to take it Scully ran over and took it.....and got away with it! Both sides had a couple of other half chances before the break, but nowt that troubled either keeper.

Whilst we finished the half time refreshments, Ellon took the lead. A free kick was floated in, and like the Stoneywood game we did our best impersonation of statues allowing EDMOND acres of space to glance in a header. Jake and Lyon were introduced, and Jaker almost made an impact but his shot went over. Lawson had a go at the other end for Ellon but was closer to hitting me than the target. Gav Booth had an effort from 12 yards blocked and Buchanan did well to block from Jake with Scully slamming one wide at the end of the resultant stramash. It took 73 mins for the first yellow to be issued, and like busses two came along at once. Neil Mur went on a mazy and Lawson tried to take him out. When Neil was eventually stopped he went back to Lawson and unpolitely asked what he thought he was up to, and both had their names taken. The home side's Willox and Chapman soon followed into the book for verbal and timewasting. Buchanan did well to hold another Jake effort, tipped over Scully's free kick and kept his best save to keep out the fluo footed one's 20 yarder. Overall a disappointing result, in a game that we should have taken something from considering the old bloke didn't have a save to make.....but its goals that count.

Dyce 2 FC Stoneywood 3  (18/08/10)

After the relative straightforwardness so far of the league cup section, it was back to league business and also back to normal.....more competitive stuff, more comic cut defending and more ridiculously inconsistent officiating. In my time at the club I can not recall us ever beating our local neighbours at home, and unfortunately that was to continue. As early as a minute in we could have had a spot kick when Anderson handled in the box but the appeals were waved aside. For the next 20 mins we just didn't get going and the visitors had the better of things. Big Davie Neish had to save well from Keith, and made an even better stop low down to deny Stevenson. Gogs pulled one wide with a rare shot at goal before the fluo footed beanpole latched onto through ball and Marwick came out to meet him. The beanpole was certainly entitled to go for the 50/50 and Baz Marwick did well to just get there first. After a long pause the whistler decided to pull out a yellow card for the striker, despite the fact he hadn't even awarded a free kick. Eventually Marwick took a free kick that still hadn't been whistled for......bizarre. A minute later the visitors were ahead. A softish looking free kick was given near the corner flag and the kick was headed on to GOODBRAND at the far post and he did well to keep his shot down and fire it into the corner. It went from bad to worse on the half hour when Jake went up for a header and was given a straight red, apparently for an elbow. I was busy moaning about the previous booking and didn't actually see it, and some have said it was a sending off offence and some have said otherwise. The whistler was of the opinion it was so off he went. Seconds later Murph was caught late.....nowt given and he had to be replaced, whith Cheyner coming on. Stevie Mur volleyed over and Neil Mur pulled one wide as we came more into it, and Hendo froced a fine save from Baz Marwick with a low 30 yarder. 5 mins before the break the visitors Keith went in studs up on Yule and was given a warning, with the whistler even motioning to indicate it was studs up. Within seconds Hendo put in a similar tackle and out came the yellow. Consistency? The Ginger One obviously offered an opinion and also had his name taken. Just on half time ex Dycer Marwick did well to pushed the beanpole's free kick wide.

The second half started with Neish saving well from Keith, before at the other end Hendo's header was cleared off the line. Neil Mur was then fouled on the halfway line, nowt given and when Neil held back his man in the aftermath he had his name taken. The fluo footed one went on a mazy which resulted in Marwick saving well, then he headed wide from the Ginger One's cross. Hall had a great chance for Stoney shortly after, but almost hit an angler in the Don. We went up the other end and midway through the half we were level. A free kick was headed across goal for Gav BOOTH to net his 9th of the season. Straight away Former had a great chance to restore the lead but Big Neish saved well. 5 mins later and we were in front- the Gingler One played in NESIHER and he advanced and slotted home. At this point we were well on top, but then either tired or just got plain slack. KEITH missed a sitter at the far post, but soon after on 79 he was gaven acres of space and could have taken time to smoke a cuban and have a tipple before nodding in from close range. 4 mins later and the visitors grabbed what proved to be the winner, when a corner was whipped in to F STRACHAN, and he had about as much space as Keith earlier and headed in. We could have nicked a point in stoppage time when a free kick fell to Booth at the far post but his shout found the side net. All in all it was a disappointing performance, we started woefully and although there was a better spell in the middle the slackness late on cost us dear. It was a puzzler that we ended up winning the yellow card count 4-1, especially as one of their lads could have had about 4 on his own!! But ultimately it was our lack of any sort of decent play early and late on that lost us the points.

Hillhead 0 Dyce 4  (14/08/10)

At long last we ended our chronic run of results at Hillhead. It was a ground we have never won at, and although we didn't play as well as in previous games, the result was more than welcome. We kicked off in fine sunshine with Webby restored to the side at right back. It was back to normal fairly quickly as a pass went a tad astray and Anderson was through. Davie Neish 'darted' off his line and did enough to put the striker off and he pulled his shot wide. Mind you, big D Neish charging out is enough to put anyone off!! Gogs went on a rare jolly into the opposition box, but proved that he thinks like we do......his right peg is for standing on only so he tried a left foot shot that had as much chance of going in as me becoming a tee-total vegetarian vicar due to the direction he was facing. With 7 mins played we did what we have never done before.....took the lead at Hillheid! Young Nobby made a great run and slipped a pass to Blair YULE who took a touch and slammed it into the onion bag for his first goal for the club. Nobby hit one wide soon after, but it wasn't one way traffic, a slack Murph pass almost letting in Anderson but his first touch was of the Darren Mackie variety. Gav Booth lobbed one over and Strachan pulled one wide before we grabbed the second with the most bizarre gift of a goal we will ever get. A far post cross saw Webby try to cut the ball back, but it only went as far as POUPARD, the home keeper. He dived on the ball and held it easily, but somehow when he tried to stand up he threw the ball back into the net.........no-one seemed to realise what had happened and the ball was in for about 10 seconds before most folk realised it. If the keeper hurried to get the ball out of the net I doubt if anyone would have noticed as we were all looking the other way waiting for the punt upfield! However the keeper did do well a few mins later to keep out Nobby's 20 yarder, before at the other end Neish had to 'sprint' off his line again to clear from the incoming Kwiatkowski (no doubt the spelling of that one will be incorrect). With 9 mins until the break, Nobby had another go from 20 yards, and when Poupard parried it Gav BOOTH was on it quicker than Mr Chairman can down a Glayva and blasted in the rebound. 'Heids Anderson was the only player in the opening 45 to have his name taken, maybe a tad unfortunate as his tackle wasn't too dis-similar to Stevie Mur's a few minutes earlier!

The Heiders forced an early corner in the second period and Allan had a half chance but Neish held his shot easily, and a few minutes later on 53 it was four. Strachan found the Ginger One, who skinned the full back and his low cross was forced home by Gav BOOTH for his 8th goal in 4 matches. Webby then showed some tremendous eagerness to take a free kick early, or a tremendous lack of knowledge of the rules. He too the set piece quickly, but the ball was still moving. He was told to take it again......and proceeded to do exactly the same thing again. The Heiders were appealing for a spot kick on the hour, when a shot from Morrice was blocked by Stevie Mur. They were obviously claiming a handball, and whether it was or not I have no idea as some inconsiderate player was standing in the way. The home side had a great chance a couple of mins later when Anderson had a clear side of goal but big Neisher made a great save putting it wide for a corner. Heid's McKenzie became the second player to see yellow, when he offered ref Spence an opinion that obviously wasn't a compliment on the decision he had just made. We then had Jake cautioned against his old club, no complaints as it was as clear as booking as most of Vinnie Jones' ones used to be. Gav Booth almost grabbed a hat-trick but his effort was blocked, before Poupard made a fine save from Blair Yule's 30 yard free kick. Overall the performance wasn't as good as the previous couple of games, but given our results at that ground over the years it was certainly acceptable.

Dyce 7 Parkvale 0  (10/08/10)

We followed up Saturdays thumping win over Lossie by banging in another 7, this time against 2nd division side Parkvale. There was a full quota of subs available, although we were still without Neil Mur, Jordan, McCrum, Lyon, Dave Neish, Cheyner, Yates and Thoirs. Like Saturday the scoring started early, when the ball fell to NEISHER 25 yards out and he valleyed the ball over the stranded Knox for the opener. 4 corners followed in quick succession but all were cleared, and Gav Booth put a header just past. Strachan hit one from distance just wide before Vale had a chance but Milne fired wide. With 18 on the clock the Ginger One saw a shot saved and Neisher just about disturbed the fish in the Don with the rebound from a few yards. The beanpole made up for it soon after when Kirky disposessed the full back and squared for NEISH to blast home with a first time hit. Just five minutes later the fluo footed one completed a fine treble by controlling the ball at the far post and belting it across the keeper in at the far post. The next 20 mins saw us keep posession well and create a few other chances without troubling Knox too much. Just on half time though Neisher should have grabbed a fourth when he was clean through on Knox, but really didn't make a good job of the finish and the keeper saved easily.

The second half saw us start with a bang and within 7 minutes we added another two. First the Ginger One sent a through ball to STRACHAN who timed his run well and he advanced to round Knox and net. Neisher was further forward but was playing musical statues and made no attempt to go for the ball and Jake was rightly allowed to continue. A couple of minutes later it was five, although to be honest this one did look offside. Kirky's through ball found BOOTH, who looked like he had drifted a yard off. However there were no linesmen with it being a cup tie and we were given the benefit of the doubt and Gav drove into the box and netted. Goal number six arrived on the hour when young Hungarian Nobby 'Puskas' Buza burst through and rounded Knox. He was too wide to shoot, so crossed to the far post and the GINGER ONE volleyed into the top corner. Five mins later Knox sclaffed the ball straight to Booth, who shot first time but his sclaff out-did Knox's!! The old bloke's muscles were beginning to seize, and with Davie Neish absent the fluo footed beanpole went between the sticks. Watson then appeared to land awkwardly resulting in a painful looking knee injury, and he was immediately replaced by Knight. Vale had a rare chance when Bennet shot just over from the edge of the box, and then contrary to all the forecasts the unthinkable happened.......the sun came out! After dropping the pace for a wee while we made another push towards the end, with the Ginger One crossing for Nobby to head off the post. Hendo headed over from about 2 feet, before the final goal arrived with a couple of minutes left. Luggies crossed from the left and Gav BOOTH leapt to glance a heider into the bottom corner. He could have grabbed a hat-trick in stoppage time but his header went down into the ground and over via the top of the bar. And for the second game in a row....no bookings!

Dyce 9 Lossiemouth Utd 0  (07/08/10)

We got off to a flyer in our Grill Cup section with a nine goal demolition of Lossie Utd.....our biggest win in some time (if not ever!!). We did it without nine players as we were unable call upon the services of Neil Mur, Stevie Mur, Luggies, Jordan, McCrum, Cheyner, Watson, Yates and Thoirs. Poor Lossie were even worse off as they had 12 missing! Within 10 mins of kick off the game was really over as a contest. After Neisher had pulled a shot wide we opened our account in the 4th minute when Jake STRACHAN let fly from 25 yards and in it went. Just 3 mins later it was two. The Ginger One had a go from 20 yards and although his shot was well parried, it fell to Gav BOOTH who took a touch and rifled in the second. After the initial burst things quietened down a bit chance wise although we still had the lions share of posession. Neisher had a header well saved on the half hour and just after that Scully and Stevenson were lectured for a bit of handbags after the ball had been cleeared. That was the only time in the 90 mins that ref Forbes had to get involved, with the game being played in the right spirit. 5 mins before the break came the third goal- Neisher did well to make space (so Cheyner told me, as I wasn't looking!) and he cross for Gav BOOTH to bury a header for his 4th goal in a game and a half. There was still time for visiting keeper Todd to earn a ripple of applause from the 'crowd' for saves to prevent Hendo and Strachan adding to the tally before the break.

The second half was a bit of a procession towards the visitors goal, with another being added on 52 minutes. NEISHER was fouled on the edge of the box and the fluo footed beanpole took the free kick himself and curled it over the wall and in. Three mins on and it was five, as STRACHAN held off a defender and slammed home a left pegger. Young Hungarian Nobby Buza came off the bench and soon burst into the box but his shot was of more danger to the contents of the car park than the goal. However goal number 6 did duly arrive on 69 mins, with the Ginger One crossing for SCULLY to flick a heider into the far corner. On a rare venture towards our box Fairweather got in a low shot from 20 yards but Davie Neish held it comfortably. Nobby then burst into the box again and squared the ball to Scully, and he would have impressed Stephen Hawking with the physics of just how he managed to shoot and get the ball to go back in exactly the same direction it came from.......which needless to say wasn't goalwards! With quarter of an hour to go NEISHER had a header well saved, but from the caorner he was there to prod the ball goalwards at the far post. It took a deflection and the dury was out as to whether it was an og or not, but Kev advised me in the 'Trees after that he would buy me a pint if he was credited with it. That was enough for me, and new players take note......I am always available to discuss such bribes. There was no doubt about number eight with 10 mins to go, when STRACHAN scored a replica of his second goal to stake his claim for the match ball. His only problem was that with 3 mins left NEISHER took the ball down and volleyed home his third. We cant really afford to give away 2 match balls so neither got to keep it. The only question left was whether or not Lossie could keep the score in single figures, and this they managed to do as there was no further scoring.

Stonehaven 2 Dyce 3  (03/08/10)

The new league season got off to a winning start down at Glenury against newly promoted Stoney. The home side had obviously strengthened with a few new faces on board, including co-managers Craigie and Craig and also ex Dycer Jimmy Ellis recruited. It was a game of two halves really, with a fairly uneventful opening half followed by 45 mins of goals and chances. In the end we could have won by a few more, but were also left with squeaky behinds at the end as Hive staged a late comeback. Hive certainly had the better of the opening 20 mins or so, having the better of the posession and seemed to keep the ball better than we did. That said, the old bloke wasn't called into action to do anything of note. The Ginger One was the season's first booking, a tad harsh as an identical tackle escaped punishment around 15 seconds earlier. It took 26 mins to register our first effort, Neisher's free kick forcing Mike Smith to parry the ball away. Gav Booth then had his name taken just before the break. Again it was slightly harsh as he went down under challenger from Smith. It was never in a month of Sundays a penalty as the keeper won the ball cleanly, but there did appear to be some contact after rather than the dive it was deemed to be. That was just about it and it was off for a half time refreshment.

The second half was the exact opposite. NEISHER had a shot well blocked by Smith and on 48 we were ahead. Hive's Bambi collected a yellow for taking down Kirky after his mazy that left him with a nosebleed, and the beanpole (sporting more new hideous yellow boots) smashed the resultant free kick from 25 yards into the top corner. Four mins later it was two with another superb goal. A nice move in the middle saw the ball played wide to Webby. He set Neisher away down the right and at full pelt he drove in a first time cross was found the incoming Gav BOOTH and his diving header found the net. Both sides then created chances with Craigie firing wide at one end and the Ginger One going close at the other. Just after the hour we saw what we thought was impossible- the old bloke punted one up and it sailed over the halfway line........and that was from the deck!! The Ginger One was almost in again but Bambi got across to clear the danger, then the big centre half went up the other end and the Ginger One got his own back by hacking the defender's shot clear. With 20 mins left we looked to have made the game safe when a cross was squared to BOOTH and his right peg effort went into the bottom corner. However just 5 mins later Hive were thrown a lifeline when a throw into the box was cleared to CAMERON 20 yards out. He took a touch and his screamer fairly flew into the top corner. The old bloke seemed to think about diving but then realised the ball was already in the net and it would be a pointless exercise! Bambi put another shot wide before there was a scramble at the other end which the home defenders eventually cleared. A tremendous 40 yard cross field pass from young sub Scully found Neisher running in and he took a touch before belting one off the face of the bar. Fellow sub Blair was then taken out on the halfway line by a bit of a shocker of a tackle (the only one of a competitive game played in the right spirit) that went unpunished, and Hive pushed forward and grabbed a second in stoppage time. A ball into the box found Craigie and his bundled effort appeared to be going in. CRUICKSHANK was standing about an inch and a half from the line and made sure by hoofing it in. It seemed difficult to see how he was onside but it stood and it set up a nervy last couple of moments but thankfully ref MacNab blew for time soon after.

Dyce 0 FC Stoneywood 1  (08/05/10)

The season drew to a close with a very end of season type performance. The visitors were still fighting for Super League survival and arrived on the back of a run of just one defeat in 11 matches and for the second time this season left Iain Mair Park with a single goal victory. Although we didn't play particularly well it is certainly a game that we did enough to get something out of and no way should have lost. The squad was down to the bare bones and apart from the old bloke we only had Fletch and an unfit Kev Stewart available for the bench. Once more there was a flurry of cards of both colours, but in contrast to Tuesday the players who were in receipt of them cant really complain too much. There was early action at both ends, and we had claims when Kirky was bundled off the ball round about the 18 yard line. Difficult to tell if it was in or out but the claims were waived aside so it was pretty irrelevant! Stoney then raced up the other end and Rintoul's cut back found Brooks but bid D Neish made an excellent block. His lanky brother headed onto the roof of the net at the other end before Stoney's Small was first in the book. Webby then flighted in a cross and the Ginger One looked like he had given us the lead as his headre beat the keeper but it came back off the post. Then on 24 mins the visitors grabbed the lead. Small hurled in a throw towards Brooks. There was a hint of him impeding Stevie Mur as they went for the ball and it fell to FARMER who wasted no time firing home from around 8 yards. Neisher had a header cleared off the line from a Kirky corner as we tried to get back into things quickly. Burnett and Cowell both had their names taken in quick succession just before the break for taking out Neisher and Kirky as Stoney held onto the lead.

Into the 2nd half then and Cheyner was next in the book, this one for a foul on the half way line. Soon after Webby of all people found himself with space in the box but his shot was deflected over, and then the Mur brothers were both booked at the same time just after the hour and Big Neish held the resultant free kick. With 20 left he made an even better save when Brook's header was destined for the bottom corner until he got down to turn the ball round for a corner. Back up the other end and Rintoul collected a yellow when he took down Neisher after he had danced around the ball a few times, and the beanpole's free kick was well held. The remaining 20 mins or so saw us pretty much camped in the Stoney half and another corner saw another effort cleared off the line. Visiting keeper Gibson was penalised for timewasting and from the resultant free kick Fletch touched it to Neisher and his shot took a nick off a defender and crashed down off the underside of the bar. Despite some faint appeals the ball clearly came down on the line and hadn't crossed the line. Just as things seemed to be petering out quietly all hell broke loose in the final minute. Neil Mur went in clumsily on Cowell, who in turn got up and retaliated. Both were given a second yellow and went off, as did Stevie Mur who I assume must have said something non too complimentary........and if so then neither of the three can have too many complaints, and the final whistle went soon after.

Dyce 1 Culter 2  (04/05/10)

For the second game in a row we hosted Culter, this time in the league. Unfortunately instead of talking about what could have been a really good game all conversation afterwards was about a certain individual. Beforehand we predicted that it would be a tough game as Culter are going very well at the moment. We also predicted that we couldn't be as bad as we were in the cup game, and therefore it could be a close one. It was also mentioned that there may be a few cards on the go (not aces, spades, hearts and clubs!)- a certain gentlemen even said at half time that the whistler would take it upon himself to 'liven things up' if the players didn't do it themselves. Money should have been put on all the above as each and every one of them was spot on. If Messrs Gray and Keys were here with all their stats it would show goals 1-2, posession about 50/50, chances about the same etc etc. It would also show Dyce fouls committed about 47, Culter fouls committed about 46 and a total of ten yellows and a red card- you would think it was a full scale battle but nothing could be further from the truth. Take out the goalkeepers and 50% of each team was carded in a game that didn't contain a bad tackle. Only two yellows were issued the first half, but we have all seen it before when Mr Veitch is in the middle that after about an hour things need livened up and out come the cards. The players must have thought they were in a casino in Vegas with the cards they were getting dealt! And dont for a minute think this is sour grapes or a go at all officials, the reason we lost the game is that we didn't defend two long throws properly- nothing to do with the whistler, and his assistants McKenzie and Duff did fine. There will be those who will moan about their decisions as well but it's a tough job and they both did fine. However the sheer number of cards was absolute nonsense and a large number of the Culter lads can feel just as hard doen by as some of ours with their punishments. Yet it all started fine, both teams getting on with it in a well contested manner as both chased 2nd place in the league. Thoirs flicked on to Rae who shot over, while at the other endGregory headed over. With 20 played both sides made a change through injury with Cheyner replacing Rae and Youngson coming on for McBain. Soon after came the first yellow, the softest of soft fouls was given in the Culter box and Neisher had his name taken- apparent dissent although there was no raised voice or anger at all! With 25 on the clock Culter took the lead when a long throw came in. Stevie Mur tried to head clear but it fell to COOPER at the penalty spot and the big defender's volley fairly flew past debutant David Neish in goal. Thoirs missed a great chance at the other end soon after before Veith ran 30 yards to McKimmie after a foul on Neisher, put his hand in his pocket then changed his mind and just gave him a lecture. Goal scorer Cooper then had his name taken with McIntosh holding Neisher's resultant free kick. Just before the break we got ourselves level when a corner from the left resulted in a goalmouth scramble and the GINGER ONE prodded home from close in. The second half started with Cheyner clearing pff the line after D Neish, Gogs and Shand all went for the ball and all seemed to miss it. Kirky then went on a mazy on the right (yes, the right!) but Thoirs header from his cross lacked any power. Then it was time for Veitch to take centre stage. McKimmie said something, again it didn't seem aggressive but name taken. The Ginger One was then caught late but Veitch was heard saying he played advantage......which was rather odd as Cooper of Culter had the ball and knocked it back to McIntosh. Youngson of Culter was next in the book- he was clearly nudged off the ball and simply said 'hows that not a foul?'. Apparently thats now worth a yellow. Adam Wilson then caught Mur, slightly mistimed but nothing malicious- but in the book. Stevie Mur was next, for one that was probably even softer than Wilson's. Then it was Hugh Robertson's turn for one that was about the same as Stevie Mur's......plus he had hardly put in tackle during the previous 75 mins! About a whole 3 mins passed before it was Gogs next, again just a run of the mill tackle that was a foul but nothing more. Then on 87 mins we had a break from the game of cards when a long throw found McKIMMIE and he seemed to just be trying to flick the ball on across goal but it sailed into the far corner. A minute later nromal service was resumed with Neisher picking up a second soft yellow- disappointing when you hear two Culter players saying straight away it was hardly even a foul let alone a bookable one. And there was just time for Fletch to also have his name taken in the final minute, although his one was actually merited. So, what was a good clean game just ended up totally spoilt.

Dyce 0 Culter 2  (24/04/10)

The programme notes stated that home 'advantage' was as much use as a hole in the heid with this fixture, and so it proved once more. Our excellent record at Culter counts for nothing when we meet them at home, as a Grill Cup victory back when we were a first division club remains our sole voctory over the Deesiders at Ian Mair Park. To be honest we could have played all day and all night and still not scored, and gifting two soft goals to the visitors did away with any chance of stumbling our way to some sort of win. The opening exchanges were even enough, Youngson hitting one wide for Culter before McKimmie had the ball in the net. The deliberate handball before he put it in the onion bag escaped a yellow, but the offence itself didn't and the goal was disallowed. Within two minutes the ball was in the opposite net but again chalked off. Thoirs burst through and slammed one in from 20 yards but whistler McKenzie who was somewhat behind play blew for offside. Only after the whistle went did the linesman's flag on the far side go up.......odd one that as Thoirs didn't look as if he was in front of the defenders. It was back to the other end with Wilson's 30 yarder going not too far wide of the old bloke's post before Thoirs had another chance at the other end. This time when through Cooper was trying get back (a bit of a mis-match physically) but wee Thoirs held him off and got his shot away but Andy Mac in the Culter goal saved well. In any case the whistle had already gone for the andrex of soft fouls against the attacker. Another soft foul, this time by Neil Mur gave Culter a free kick at the corner of the box and when Neil kicked the ball away he was booked. He didn't kick it far, but far enough to warrant the card- yet Culter's Shandy did similar at the corner flag late on, again didn't kick it far but got away with it. Kev Stewart then picked up a knock and was relaced by Kirky and then within a couple of minutes there were penalty claims at both ends. Firstly Thoirs' cross from the right clearly looked like it hit an arm but play was waved on, then at the other end McKimmie chased a through ball and as Luggies chased him and the old bloke came out they all collided and again there were big shouts. Again it was waved away. Culter were beginning to shade things and with 8 mins of the half left grabbed the lead. A high ball into the box saw either Goggs or Stevie Mur (cant remember which one!) slip and fall on their ass and the loose ball fell to GREGORY 12 yards out and he made no mistake. The visitors could have added to their lead early in the second half when a corner was headed narrowly over. Neisher then skinned Cooper and the big defender hauled him back with both arms and was fortunate to escape a yellow, then Luggies did the same at the other end when McKimmie waltzed past him on the by-line. The difference was the Lugs did get a yellow- no complaints really as it was a clear booking but so was Cooper's minutes earlier! Culter were certainly having the better of this half and Wilson fired one wide and McKimmie did likewise with a header. As long as it remained just the one goal deficit there was always a chance that a set piece or deflection etc could somehow bring us back into the game, but midway through the half the visitors were given an absolute gift of a goal. A long punt into the box seemed an easy catch for the old bloke as it bounced towards him. However he must have been quicker than the thought as when the ball was in the air after the above mentioned bounce he seemed to realise he was too far out and tried to backtrack. Howver there was no way the old bones and legs would get him turned around and back quickly enough and McKIMMIE nipped in to net the loose ball. From then on the visitors looked comfortable and created another couple of chances to add to the lead, while at the other end Kirky's lay off to the Ginger One who shot over was as close as we came. So the game ended, and along with it so did our final chance of any silverware this season but really we cant have any complaints as the better team on the day won the match.

Sunnybank 1 Dyce 1  (20/04/10)

What a difference a few days makes, going from the shambolic defat at Hall Russell to grabbing a well earned point at Heathryfold against champions elect Sunnybank. If anyone has an argument for summer football they can shove it where the sun dont shine (which is basically our summer!!). On what was supposed to have been a fine spring evening the players came out to right old snow blizzard.........either that or it was damn cold volcano ash that had cooled big time since leaving Iceland. Thankfully it didn't last too long and the game got underway. We had the first chance when Lyon sent in a corner and Kev Stewart got his head to it but the ball flew narrowly wide. Bank went up the other end in the 5th minute and ex-Dycer Jaffa's free kick was headed against his own bar by Goggs and the rebound was cleared. Davie Greig was next to have a go with a 25 yard free kick but it went well over. It was soon our attack again and Neisher tried his luck from 30 yards but my car parked outside was under greater threat than Sweeney in the home goal. Midway through the half Gordon looked to be through but the old bloke once more defied his advancing years and the old legs got him to the ball before the striker to clear. It took him a wee bit longer to himself back between the sticks. As the half hour approached we came closest to a goal up to that point when a free kick was knocked out to the Ginger One 20 yards out. His first time lob beat Sweeney but came back off the inside of the post- a let off for the home side. But just a few mins later it was our turn for a lucky escape when gordon latched on to a through ball. As he took it wide of the old bloke he looked set to score but put his shot high and wide. McAllister also lobbed one over and just before the break we had two players cautioned- Gogs for kicking the ball away and Watson for his weekly lunge at an opponents leg. The second half started with Cheyner on for the injured Jordan, and soon after Watson alos had to go off but probably that would be due to being knackered more than anything else. Bank's Clark then put in a dangerous low cross and the old bloke decided it was too dodgy to catch it so he carefully fumbled the ball off the inrushing strikers shin so it would bobble out for a goal kick. The home side's Adams was next in the book when he caught Stewart, and then Neisher had another go from distance but thankfully there were no planes flying so none of them would be troubled. At this stage it was turning into a bit of a dour struggle although a great move down the left almost saw debutant sub Yeats almost score but the ball was deflected into Sweeney's arms. At least at this point we knew if it got dark the place would be brightened up by the garish glow of yellow from Neisher and Yeats' banana boots. Luggies was next in the book and was soon followed by Bank's Shand- which would be costly later.The Lugs managed a bit of showboating with a back heel flick on the touchline, although it was spoiled when Stevie Mur gave the ball away straight away! Just as EE roving reporter said the game had 0-0 written all over it the game burst into life in the last 7 minutes with two goals pretty much awarded by the linesmen. Firstly Gordon burst into the box on 83 mins and went down under Luggies' challenge. There wasn't any need to make the challenge but Gordon certainly made the most of it, although to be fair all strikers would. Ref Mather shook his head and awarded a goal kick. However assistant Forbes flagged and had a word with the whistler and he changed his mind and a spot kick was give. Up stepped BARTLETT and he netted no problem. But just a couple of minutes later we were level when we won a corner on the right. It was played in and Sweeney went for it and didn't collect, there seemed to be a scramble and god only knows who got the final toch but someone did, it may have been YEATS (thats a pint he owes me!). From the opposite end of the park it was impossible to see if the ball had actually crossed the line, and Mr Mather didn't seem to indicate anything but the far side asst did and indicated a goal. There was still enough time for Bank to go down to ten men in the final minute. Stevie Mur took down Shand on the centre line, and collected a yellow for it- no complaints as it was pretty clear. However Shand needlessly got involved and picked up a 2nd booking and off he went. It was a bit of a pity really as although there were a couple of late challenges from each side they weren't deliberate or nasty and overall the game was played in the right spirit. And so it ended all square which was just about right and we all got the chance to get inside and warm up. Summer football should be a non starter after this.....we have seen warmer and more pleasant weather in February!

Hall Russell Utd 3 Dyce 1  (17/04/10)

After the highs of the previous week's great result against Banks O'Dee came the lows of a tame defeat to a side struggling to stay in the division. We ere down to the bare bones with just 13 fit players available, and it showed! Oddly enough if Andy Gray was there with all his pointless statto machines they would say that we had the bulk of the posession and the bulk of the chances. All pretty pointless really when we defend like we did and didn't put enough decent balls into the box. The officials didn't help matters, having a hand in the first two goals and the bobbly pitch was no surface to try and play nice football on......it was almost impossible. However, that aside some players will have to take a long hard look at themselves after this one- although take nothing away from the home side. They got in our faces and stopped us playing, and they played the conditions more successfully by getting the ball from front to back as quickly as possible by-passing the midfield. We on the other hand tried too much tippy tappy stuff in tight spaces which just didn't work. The opening 5 mins was ok, we created a couple of half chances, but then out of nothing in the 8th minute we fell behind. We were honest enough to say last week that our winning goal shouldn't have stood and this one shouldn't either. Lyon tried to beat his man, who only used the one hand to parry the ball down and play it wide. How it was missed beats me but Russells continued and the low cross from the left was hit him from 8 yards by MCINTOSH. Just acouple of minutes later Rae was through but home keeper Duguid was out quickly and saved well. The home side then had a second chance when a cross found McIntosh and the old bloke did well to hold his header. It was soon up the other end and Fletch's cross just evaded Lyon and Mitchell put in a great tackle just as Kevin Stewart looked set to shoot. 5 mins before half time saw Shaw deliberately handle the ball, a free kick was given but no yellow....and Fletch subsequently had his name taken for verbal on the incident. Then just before half time Neisher was cut down just inside the corner of the box- the no.4 was a mile from the ball and we heard the contact as well as seeing it. Well, we all apart from the whistler saw it and despite it being a stonewaller nowt was given. 5 mins into the second period Kev Stewart volleyed over, but a few mins later we were two behind and again the officials didn't cover themselves in glory. The assistant gave us a throw in, but the whistler gave it the other way. When the assistant spotted this he decided to point has flag the other way.....we see this a lot and I just wish they didn't do that. Russell's to their credit ignored that and when the ball was crossed to the far post SHAW was there and he finished well. 5 mins later it got even worse, and this time the home side created and finished the goal without any official influence, and a damn good finish it was too. INNES was given far too much space 20 yards out but he did well to spot the old bloke off his line and sent a great chip over him and in for no.3. Stevie Mur was taken out late on the touchline and nothing was given, prompting sub Watson to offer his weekly opinion to the ref subsequently earning him his weekly flash of yellow. With just over 20 mins to go we managed to pulled one back when Thoirs crossed from the left and Kevin STEWART volleyed home at the far post. The home side McIntosh then had his name taken for a nasty late challenge on Stevie Mur, one that certain officials in this league would have deemed worthy of a red. Spongeman Ally was certainly less than impressed with the tackle and after he showered everyone within 20 yards with water he was invited to leave the dugout. Thoirs smacked in a shot from distance which beat the keeper and clipped the top of the bar, and for the remainder of the game we had the lions share of posession and created a few chances but after the run of results we have had this just wasn't good enough.

Dyce 2 Banks O'Dee 1  (10/04/10)

A runners up position in the league is now a distinct possibility after we edged out closest rivals Banks O'Dee at Ian Mair Park on a warm and sunny afternoon. After edging the first half and deservedly going in a goal up, the second period was a fairly even affair after Dee equalised shortly after the break- but we managed to get ahead again albeit there was a degree of controversy about the winner. More about that later. The game opened quietly with nothing much chance wise happening, Dee probably had more posession in the opening quarter hour but the old bloke remained idle. Then out of nothing we grabbed the lead in the 17th minute. The ball was played up to NEISHER at the edge of the box, and he turned well in those hideous efforts of things he calls boots and slotted past the advancing Pennet. Soon after Thoirs was in a great position on the right but his first time cross was easily gathered by the keeper, and the visiting goalie did even better just before the half hour. He was under pressure from the Ginger One at a cross and the ball was cleared to the fluo booted beanpole 25 yards out and when he lobbed in a great first time shot Pennet had recovered well to make a tremendous save. We continued to shade things until the break and just before the whistle Thoirs found himself in acres of space in the box and had time to take the ball down. Instead he blasted a first time volley that troubled an incoming helicopter more than the keeper.

We expected Dee to come out and have a go in the second period.......and they did just that! They also did it without Jordan Leydon who was subbed, apparently to go away to play hockey. Eh??!! Within two minutes of the restart it was all square. Dee won a corner on the right which was flicked on at the near post and Andy REID forced the ball in for the equaliser. Game on! 5 mins later gave us one of the most entertaining moments of the game when a cross broke to Luggies 20 yards out. His shot flew wide and straight at the match sponsors resulting in a light refreshment going flying, a camera flying even further and Grant from Fugro Rovtech flat on his back with his unsympathetic colleagues having a right good laugh! It was soon back down the other end and McNamee burst through and it took a great headed clearance from Stevie Mur to avert the danger. Then it was our turn again and the Ginger One latched on to a through ball but shot straight at Pennet but not long after with just quarter of an hour remaining we grabbed the lead again. There were two claims from some Dee players for offside as the ball was first slipped through to Luggies, and then again as he set up THOIRS to net from 8 yards. I was busy blethering to the EE's roving reporter so didn't see the first pass. The second one from Luggies to Thoirs was definitely ok as Thoirs was behind the Lugs when the ball was played. I have however been reliably informed (by a Dycer as well) that the first pass to Luggies certainly did look of the offside variety but the flag stayed down. The fluo feet then picked up a card the same colour as the footwear for kicking the ball away, and after last weeks farce it was fine to see some common sense being showed through the game resulting in that being the only booking. There was a final chance for Dee near the end when Ally Reid found space right in front of goal but he couldn't control the ball and the old bloke gathered. Over the 90 mins we maybe did just about enough to justify the 3 points, although Dee will obviously be disappointed with the winning goal.

Hermes 0 Dyce 0  (03/04/10)

It's amazing how a match that contained little in the way of goalmouth action and not a bad tackle had so many talking points.......mainly the 12 yellow and 3 red cards (along with Dunk being sent from the dugout). At times it was an utter joke, only not a funny one. It started quietly enough though, and early on we looked comfortable with Thoirs having a shot deflected over and from the resulting corner Neisher (in his latest pair of hideous footwear) headed over. 8 mins in and ref Forbes tripped over his own feet, thats how exciting it was at that stage that I resorted to writing that down! Neisher hit another one over before on 18 mins the home side's Smith was first in the book for a deliberate hand ball in the centre circle. Soon after Thoirs and McKinstrey also had their names taken for squaring up in front of the dugouts. Kirky's low cross just evaded the Ginger One as we looked the more likely, although Neil Mur had to make a great tackle to thwart Courage at the other end. The old bloke then blocked well from Macklin after he had skinned Lyon on the byline. Just after the half hour Neil Mur was next in the book, for a tackle about 5 seconds after Luggies was taken out by a worse one that was unpunished. The nearside linesman seemed particularly keen at this point to keep getting involved and did so on 37 mins when we went down to 10 men. Thoirs was maybe a bit lucky to escape a minute or two before for a tackle, but committed another one which was far less of an offence. Forbes glanced at the linesman who indicated it was a bookable offence and off Thoirs went. Neil Mur had to put in another good blocking tackle as we saw things out until the break.

The second half started the way the first ended, with the neraside linesamn continuing to get involved and continuing to baffle both sides. He signalled a foul against Luggies when a clearance was blasted off his hand when the opponent was about a foot and a half from him. He would have to be a freak of a human to be able to get out of the road. He then allowed Courage to stand right in front of the old bloke when trying to kick the ball upfield, then said TB had a clear kick! Watson was next in the book for merely suggesting to the whistler that this perhaps wasn't permitted. Hermes' Smith tehn caught Luggies late.....no yellow. No consistency. Home striker Courage then chested down a long clearance and nearside linesman waved for handball. Definite consistency.....wrong again. Courage was booked for offering his opinion. Then with just under 20 to go came the real talking point. Luggies put in a great tackle from the side in front of the dugout, winning the ball as clear as you can get. No studs up, no tackle from behind, and if anything the Hermes guy caught Luggies. The straight red card given to Luggies was nothing short of a complete joke. A couple of Hermes players and committee members agreed after the game it wasn't even a foul let alone something worthy of getting the lad banned for the next couple of matches. Unsurprisingly there was a fair degree of frustration and Lyon and Neisher both had their names taken- easy to say from the sidelines but we have to try and bite the tongues. Then came more inconsistency. Home manager Dawson had received a just lecture from the whistler for some verbal, and when Dunk did the same (and the officials confirmed he never swore) he was sent from the dugout. Late on Hermes were reduced to 10 men when Courage picked up a second yellow for one of the finniest dives we have seen in quite a while. The home side's Sinclair was the last to have his name taken for catching Fletch late, and in between all that there were a couple of half chances but nowt too clear and given the circumstances it was a half decent point against a side that held Funnybank at Heathryfold the prvious week.

East End 0 Dyce 1  (27/03/10)

You quite often hear the term 'winning ugly' in football......well believe me this was the Davie Dodds of ugly as far as getting 3 points goes! The previous 6 meetings at New Advocates had seen five 1-0 scorelines, three of them in our favour and two for End. The odd game out was an outragously dull 0-0 last season. This one didn't half keep the record of dreadful games going, but at the same time saw us make it 7 wins on the spin. The first quarter hour saw sod all happening, Scott Carroll's booking for the homesters being the first incident of any note. From the free kick Neisher headed over. A minute later it was 2-0 to the home side for yellows when Todd had his name taken for some verbal. Walker fired a 30 yard free kick wide for End, before Thoirs hit two attempts similarly high and wide at the other end soon after. Onn 33 mins came the half's one clear chance, when Helson's through ball found Taylor and his first time effort brought out a great save from the old bloke. Neisher was booked for catching a defender, then after Neil Mur burst forward the beanpole saw a cross drift wide. Just before the break Walker had a snap shot go over before Helson's free kick was more of a danger to the high rise flats than the goal as it flew out for a throw. And that was it for a dour 45!

The second period wasn't that much better, taking 13 mins for anything of note to happen......Kirky getting carded against hos former side. Then out of nothin on the hour we grabbed the lead. The ball broke to NEISHER 25 yards out and his shot swerved like a swervy thing and deceived Barney as it flew in. The old bloke made a great double save at the other end almost straight away, before he palmed a corner onto McArthur's head and out for a goal kick. Or so we thought, as somehow a corner was given and when Watson hinted to the ref he suspected it was a bye kick he was promptly yellowed. It was harsh to say the least, but 3 mins later when he chopped down one of the End players it was as blatant a booking as you can get and off he went. The reduction to ten men didn't really affect the pattern of the game as it continued to be a dour struggle with the breeze getting stronger, and neither keeper was really troubled after that until the final minute when a quick throw sent Thoirs through and just when it looked like he would seal the win Barney blocked well. From somewhere the ref indicated 6 mins of stoppage time would be played......I think he played seven but we saw them out to collect the points.

Dyce 3 East End 1  (20/03/10)

Progress into the last 8 of the McLeman Cup was made against East End at Ian Mair Park. All the goals came in the opening half, with chances drying up after the break. End had the first effort when McArthur's shot was deflected over for a fruitless corner. From the set piece we broke upfield at pace with Luggies finding Neisher who in turn played a first time pass into the path of Neil Mur who was having a nosebleed being so far up. He hit his shot early but it flew narrowly wide. In the 6th minute Kevin Stewart turned and shot but it was straight at Barney, howver the deadlock was broken with 12 mins played. Luggies flighted in a free kick from the left and End defender ELLIOTT met the ball and bulleted a header into the bottom corner. Would have been a great goal at the right end! A few mins later Kirky demonstrated why his right peg is for standing on when his 20 yarder was nearer the pie shop that the goal. Then out of the blue on 18 minutes the visitors were level. Walker burst through and the old bloek made a fine save, with the rebound being cleared for a corner. The kick was flighted in, flicked on and WALKER nodded in off the post. Just two more minutes elapsed and we were back in front with a beauty. NEISHER collected the ball 25 yards out, flicked the ball past McArthur and blasted a volley into the top corner. Take a bow son! Soon after the Ginger One skinned Elliott and his low cross just evaded the incoming Luggies. End's Ryan Smith hit a free kick over, before they had Carroll and Todd cautioned for some verbal. As half time approached we gave ourselves some breathing space with a goal in the final minute of the half. Luggies surged into the box and the GINGER ONE flicked his low cross in off the near post.

The second period started with the old bloke sending a punt upfield (yes, into the opposition half) and Neisher held off his man before shooting straight at Barney. Kevin Stewart was next to force a good save out of the keeper who then tipped away a looping header from a corner. End's Smith and home defender Neil Mur had their names taken in quick succession, and from one of the resultant free kicks the old bloke parried Helson's free kick. Walker was next to have a go when he cut in and the old mannie held his shot. The Ginger One headed a Kirky corner wide, before at the other end McLeod's shot was easily held by the old bloke. The final chance fell to McLeod, but his snap shot flew narrowly over. That was it really for the second period, End having more posession than they did in the first 45 but overall we were fairly comfortable and eased through to the next round.

Dyce 2 Maud 0  (13/03/10)

Another 3 valuable points were collected to consolidate 2nd place, but again it wasn't pretty viewing during a pretty dour 90 minutes. Thankfully we had more bodies available than the previous week, meaning that manager Milne didn't have to list himself as a sub like the previous week. Thank God! In the end it was a 5 minute spell before half time that decided this match.....about the only spell with any sustained entertainment (well from a Dyce point of view it was!). The early stages saw little in the way of goalmouth action, Neisher banging one wide and Fletch hitting the far post with a cross that deceived everyone. There was a moment of panic at the back when the old bloke sliced a back pass like I slice an approach shot with a pitching wedge, but thankfully Webby cleared. Gogs had a great chance but headed wide, before Jamieson turned well at the other end and fired wide of the old bloke's left hand post. Maud's Davidson then lost a boot chasing the ball out (that's how exciting the game was....I end up writing about that!). The Ginger One had a good chance just after the half hour but Maud keeper Cowe was off his line like Usain Bolt and made a fine block. Minutes later the old bloke was off his line a tad slower but still gathered the ball expertly as McDonald closed in. With 5 mins of the half left we edged in front when a corner was flicked on to GOGS at the far post and he volleyed in from 8 yards. Davidson had a go from just inside the box but the old bloke held his shot before in the final minute of the half our lead was doubled. Webby somehow got in the box and even more remarkably got a header on target, which was goalbound until dfender Rae pulled off a fine save but saw red for the handball and a penalty was awarded, NEISHER converting the kick.

There were early appeals for another spot kick when Stewart was eased off the ball but a goal kick was the outcome. 10 mins in and the ball broke to Maud's McDonald 25 yards out and he blasted in a fine effort which the old bloke did equally well to parry wide for a corner which was cleared. We went up the other end and after Neisher beat his man wide Cowe did well to aprry his shot from a tight angle on to the bar. The old bloke had to look lively to tip a dangerous croos/shot over and at this stage the game became quire scrappy with neither side creating too much. Lyon picked up out first yellow, for a tackle which wasn't malicious but certainly late enough to warrant the card. Davidson was then through for Muad after disposessing Neil Mur, but the defender did well to recover and clear the danger. Maud's Jamieson was next in the book for a bit of backchat, and the visitors ended up with 4 in the book, despite there hardly being a tackle of note in the game. Overall it was a scrappy 90 mins, pretty much decided in the 5 min spell just before the break.

Lewis Utd 1 Dyce 2  (06/03/10)

We made it 8 league games without defeat after a hard fought win at the Chris Anderson statium in a dour encounter against the green & white hoops (personally I always like teams in green and white hoops losing!!). As always there was a lack of atmosphere with the 'crowd' so far away from the action in the very nice new, but distant stand down Linksfield way. Our squad was terribly depleated, with just 13 fit players resulting in a certain 50 something year old listing himslef as a sub. We on the side just prayed there wouldn't be any injuries, whilst the starting 11 were hoping they wouldn't suffer the emarassment of being replaced by him! Not much of note happened early on, with Lewis almost having the first chance when Forde looked to be through but Neil Mur got back to make a fine tackle. At the other end a Lyon corner had the home defence struggling but a free kick was awarded for something. Braidwood held a low cross from the Ginger One, and also made a fine block from a close range Cheyner effort. Webby was first in the book for a high tackle on Davidson.......about as blatant a booking as we will see this season. On the half hour Kevin Stewart blasted one from the edge of the box which looked goalbound but a home defender managed to get in the way of it. We were having the better of things at this stage without playing well at all, but Lewis reminded ud that they could be a threat on 37 when the ball broke to Stewart 25 yards out and his first time effort wasn't far off target. There was just enough time left in the opening period for Fletch to pick up is secnd yellow in as many appearances for us when he caught Henry as they cahsed a through ball. And as far as the first half goes that was just about all that happened of note.

The 2nd period started with Neisher lobbing Braidwood, but the ball dropped wide, before 6 mins in we were behing. Lewis were awarded a free kick 25 yards out wide of goal. Neale DAVIDSON hit a decent enough effort towards the top corner, although I'm not too sure what the old bloke was doing doing when trying to prevent it going in! Neisher out one wide from 20 yards, then soon after did the same with a free kick. Then just 8 mins after falling behind we got ourselves level with a great goal. Neisher's lay off sent Cheyner away down the right. Thankfully just before his legs gave way he sent a low ball across the adge of the box, and Kevin STEWART didn't have to break stride as he leathered a first time effort into the roof of the net. Shortly after the same player had another chance from a similar distance but unfortunately it fell to his left peg, and the result was different to say the least as it spun towards the long jump pit. Home defender Henry was the first home player in the book for chopping down Fletch, about as blatant as Webby's. With 20 to go sub Thoirs was through but demonstrated why he only uses his left foot for standing on and Braidwood saved easily. With quarter of an hour gone Kirky was brought on, and seceral of us wondered why the heck he was playing up front. Within a minute he was bundled over in the box and a spot kick was awarded. To be honest it looked a tad soft, although in saying that there seemed to be very little protest from the homesters about the decision and Callum LYON stepped up to net with German penalty efficiency. We saw out the remainder comfortably, with thankfully no need to bring on the 3rd sub!

Dyce  2  Longside  1  (27/02/10)

Another 3 points were put on the board to keep us in 2nd place with a hard fought win against Longside. After all the rain and snow the pitch (although heavy in places) had far more grass on it than Pittodrie did earlier in the day. And although the match wasn't a classic, it probably had more football than the not so Dandies game with the Jambos. Things opened evenly enough, with Rae bursting through early on only to pull his shot wide in the 5th miniute. Soon after it was Longside on the attack  with Cowie shielding the ball well and laying it off to Panton 20 yards out but the old bloke got down well to turn his shot wide. Stevie Mur headed one wide on a rare foray into the opposition box, but midway through the half we got our noses in front. Kevin STEWART raced on to a through ball and just beat the advancing Thomson to the ball and slid home the opener. On the half hour the lead was doubled. I haven't a clue what happened as I was speaking to Mr League Secretary at the time, but apparently Cheyner knocked a cross into the path of Stevie RAE who netted. A minute later we were looking for a spot kick when Rae appeared to be bundled over in the box but play was waved on, and the final action of the opening period saw the visitors get a free kick just outside the box but it was driven into the wall.

The second half started with a Neisher free kick skiting off Rae's head to Cheyner who put it wide. Beddie of Longside was first in the book for a tug on Cheyner, and Wheeler soon joined him for upending Luggies- with Neisher putting the resultant free kick into the car park. Just after the hour it was game on again when a long free kick was punted into the box. Our defenders did their best impression of playing musical statues, allowing Muir MURRAY to sneak in at the far post and pull one back. Minutes later we almost restored the two goal lead when the Ginger One played in Stewart, but Thomson made a fine block. With 75 played another chance went when Fletch was put through and he did everything right lobbing the advancing Thomson, but it went just too high and hit the top of the bar. The same player hit the side net soon after as we tried (but failed!!) to kill the game off. Stevie Watson then had his name taken for a cynical one, then the visitors Stainton suffered a similar fate. Luggies was next to see yellow for kicking the ball away, as did Fletch. Luggies can have no complaints, but Fletch actually rolled the ball to where the keeper took the free kick from! With the game in stoppage time the match ended on a sour note, when the visitors skipper Ian Wheeler was stretchered off. Stewart tackled him on the centre line and there didn't seem to be much of a problem, and play carried on. It soon became apparent he was in a great deal of pain so play was stopped and the stretcher called for. Ref McKay then for some reason re-started the match with a free kick that he hadn't awarded! The couple of minute stoppage time were played out without too much wlse fo note happening.

Banchory St Ternan  0  Dyce  1  (13/02/10)

We collected an excellent 3 points at Milton Park against Banchory, and in the process it saw a rarity this season.....a clean sheet. What was even rarer was the source of the goal- Stevie Watson!! More on that later. We kicked off and were on the front foot straight away, and should have been out of sight in the opening 20 mins. Stevie Rae had the first chance but Roberston made a great save from his shot. There was a clain for handball in the resultant stramash but to be honest I never saw it! Rae ende dup heading wide. Moments later with just 8 played came the games most controversial moment. Rae was clean through and was tripped from behind by Galashan. It looked a clear goal scoring opportunity but the defender will be counting himself lucky ref McKenzie only gave him a yellow. The far side linesman advised Mr Chairman at the side that it was a clear scoring opportunity, and then decided to tell him he would advise the whistler at half time! The Ginger One and Rae both had efforts go close as we dominated, and Cheyner had a left pegger well tipped over by Robertson, who was having a good game in the Bunkry goal. Before the break Watson talked his way into the book (as he tends to do on a weekly basis) and Webby also had his name taken for a late one- no complaints at all about that one one, as clear as they come. The half then ended with us wondering why we were still on level terms, but it's goals that count and thats the way it was.

The second period started with Saints having a decent spell, albeit without really troubling the old bloke. New recruit Fletcher was given his first outing for the hoops when he replaced Kirky on 57 mins, and just a couple of minutes later we got our noses in front. Luggies played a fine through ball, and Stevie WATSON made a lung busting (and for Stevie probably a brain, kidney, liver, ass and heid busting as well!!) run and slotted home first time from 16 yards. On 65 came one of the most bizarre incidents I have seen in a while. Saints were awarded a throw, but Stevie Rae had taken a knock and Ally was allowed on to give him some treatment. However Bunkry then took the throw with Ally still on the park treating Rae and they forced a corner. It was allowed to be taken and it was cleared for another one. It was also allowed to be taken and was cleared out for another. The linesman finally got the ref's attention and called him over to advise that Ally was still on the park treating Stevie. Incredibly Saints were allowed to take a 3rd corner whilst Ally was still on the pitch! Once everything settled down (a few folk were getting a tad annoyed over that one) Saints created their best chance of the game. Forbes latched on to a through ball and looked certain to score, but the old bloke advanced as quick as an old bloke can and made a great block with what was just about his only real save of the game. The home side's McRae was next in the book, and team mate Downing also had his name taken. With 11 mins left Neisher looked set to pounce from 18 yards, but surprised us all by choosing to pass.......almost as Rare as Watson's goal. Fletcher's shot from the pass was deflected over. Saints were trying to get back into the game and put in couple of good crosses but there were no takers and the old bloke still wasn't overly troubled. With 6 mins left the homesters were reduced to ten men. Cheyner fouled Downing, but it was missed by the officials. Downing took a bit of revenge on Cheyner as the ball went upfield and the linesman saw the tackle and called over Mr McKenzie who showed a second yellow followed by red. We saw out the remaining few minutes to collect a great 3 points at a very difficult venue.

Dyce 4 Buchanhaven Hearts 2  (06/02/10)

This was only our 2nd game since November, and to be honest Hearts hadn't played much more during that time. Both teams were down to the bare bones- we had eleven plus an evidently unfit Jordan on the bench, whilst the visitors had their starting eleven plus the veteran George Webster as their only sub. Thankfully Andy managed to call in 3 trialists to make up some numbers on the benck. With all that in mind, plus tricky underfoot conditions a fair degree of credit should go to both teams for putting on a decent game. The old bloke easily held a low shot early on, but we were soon on the attack and grabbed an 8th minute lead. A cross from the left was headed back across goal and there was CHEYNER to net from 6 yards. Soon afterwards the ball dropped in the box to Stevie Rae with his back to goal and he was desperately unlucky to see his overhead kick come back off the post. The visitors had to be watched though and Porter cut in from the right but the old bloke comfortably held his effort. Luggies then took a nasty boot in the face, completely accidental, and we could see the blood pouring from his hooter. Off he went until it stopped and we managed to find another shirt for him. We had claims for a penalty in the 26th minute when the ball clearly hit a defender on the arm, although it probably wasn't deliberate therefore play was waved on. Rae hit one just over as we continued to look the more likely, but Wilby took a great a first touch at the other end and shot over to remind us that they could still be a threat. Cheyner collected a yellow in the 35th minute, and from the resultant kick Clark's effort was deflected inches wide. Wilby evened up the yellows for catching Luggies, then team mate Simpson also had his name taken for a tug on Kirky. Two mins before the break we grabbed a second when a through ball found Stevie RAE and he advanced to round the keeper and net. Cheyner came close to making it three but fired over from the edge of the box.

The opening stages of the second period saw little of note going on, then suddenly on 53 Hearts were back in the game. A corner was flighted in and after a stramash in the box the ball fell kindly to CUNNINGHAM who netted from a few yards out.....game on. Soon after a good move saw us cutting through the visitors defence despite a couple of fouls, and when the move broke down Kirky impeded one of the Hearts defenders. He had his name taken for offering his opinion on why he wasn't awarded a free kick moments earlier. On the hour trialist sub Dalgliesh (nae Kenny) skimmed the post with a 20 yarder, then moments later hit another one which was parried into the path of the Ginger One who netted. Flag was up for offside so no celebrations after that one. With quarter of an hour to go though the ball was in the net again and this time it counted. Kirky flighted a free kick to the far post and LUGGIES leapt like a salmon and headed in. Three mins later it was game over when Dalgliesh fed a great ball across goal for LUGGIES to grab his second.....yes, that was Luggies scoring two in 3 mins!!!! We were comfortable from then on really, although with 5 mins left a foul at the edge of the box saw ref Kerrigan award Hearts a free kick. The far side linesman stepped in and he indicated it was inside the box so the free kick was changed to a penalty, which BARBOUR netted. The only disappointment of the day was when Dunk was sent from the dugout. He said something to the linesman and was given a warning by ref Kerrigan. As the whistler went back to the centre circle Andy shouted something, and back went the man in the middle and sent Dunk away.....there was certainly no foul language and Andy sounds nothing like Duncan!!! It was also a bit annoying to see the linesman standing behind Dunk smirking as he was sent away. Anyhow, a good 3 points after such a lack of recent action.

Culter 3 Dyce 1  (23/01/10)

At the 5th attempt this Inter Regional cup tie finally went ahead, and after the horrendously long break it was back to normal within an hour and a half ie. goals, controversy and red cards!! The early stages gave little indication of later events.....Culter made most of the early running and the Old Bloke had to save well from ex Dycer Monksey, although linesman McKay had his flag up anyway. Luggies had a headre tipped wide at the other end as we cam back into things, and with 17 played we grabbed the lead. Webby's throw found the Ginger One, who held the ball up and laid it off to LYON who fired a low shot in. Unfortunately the lead only lasted 4 mins as Kirky missed a long ball and McKimmie was onto it. He reached the byline and cut the ball back for MOUNTFORD to net the equaliser. A minute later the Ginger One picked up a contender for softest booking of the season, it was a bit of a joke especially as Webby's unpunished tug a few minutes earlier was far more resembling of a bookable offence. Stevie Watson and Edo talked themselves into the book, no such defence for them I'm afraid.....although there was an awful lack of consistency when Neisher was taken out and no punishment dished out. Neil Mur had to clear a dangerous cross just before the break as Culter attacked again but the half time break saw the sides go in level.

Both teams had chances at the beginning of the 2nd period, Edo heading a McBain header off the line before Farquhar parried Neishers shot from an angle at the other end. The beanpole hit another one just wide before Youngson almost fluked one for the home side. His cross from the far touchline deceived everyone and bounced off the far post and was cleared to safety. Wilson hit two shots from distance that weren't too far over, then on the hour came the start of the madness. The ball was bobbing about near the dugouts and all we saw was the whistler run over and issue Stevie Mur with a straight red. The official form afterwards stated a kick, although no-one in the crowd congregated behind the goal could see it. There was no appeal from Culter when the 'incident' took place, there was no arguing from our lot and there was no free for all or argy bargy that normally follows a kick! So in a nutshell I have no idea if the card was justified!  Even with 10 we were still in the game and Luggies hit one narrowly over from well out, then the old bloke brilliantly tipped Monksey's 20 yarder onto the bar. With quarter of an hour to go Culter edged ahead when a cross from the right saw MOUNTFORD ghost into the box in a ghostly way and net his second from 6 yards. Luggies had another attempt (yes, that was Luggies with multiple attempts in a single match!) but he headed over. Then with 5 mins left came the real madness.....a single decision which showed a total lack of common sense resulted in a couple of our lads showing a total lack of ability to keep their gobs shut. The old bloke collected a cross easily enough, and advanced to clear the ball upfield. Linesman Duff had his flag up for offside which was fine, but common sense would have been for the whistler to acknowledge the flag and play on. After all a free kick is supposed to be an advantage........TB clearing from the deck 6 yards from his goal line is no advantage compared to kicking from hand at the edge of the box. But for some reason Mr Veitch decided to halt play and give the free kick, Culter being the only ones to benefit as they got everyone back facing the ball and organised. As a result of this Edo decided to tell Mr Veitch what he thought, and out came the red card and we were down to nine. Before the free kick was taken Andy decided to take off Neisher and put on Stevie Rae. Before the beanpole had left the park he offered his opinion on the incident. The word joke was used, although it would appear he wasn't joking, and out came the red again. Once everything had settled the game re-started and there was time enough for MOUNTFORD to complete his treble in the 88th minute, and Culter had their first home vicory against us for a few years.

Ellon Utd 2 Dyce 2  (28/11/09)

This was another of those games where it was difficult to determone whether this was a point gained or two lost. Ellon will claim that starting the game in the lower half of the table against the team 2nd in the table, and having a decent share of the posession, that they were worth a point. Indeed they ahead in stoppage time and will be gutted to drop 2 points. However, if we look at chances created (including a missed penalty and several woodwork hits) this was a game that really we ought to have won with something to spare. The first half didn't see much of note happen, trying to keep the notepad dry was a task and a half but in all honesty there wasn't that much to write about! The Ginger One laid the ball into the path of Stewart, and his 20 yarder was well parried by Dickie Bow in the home goal. At the other end a dangerous Reid cross was missed by the two onrushing attackers as well as the old bloke, with all three going for the ball but getting nowhere remotely close to it! One of the best bits of control came when a clearance was sliced out and superbly taken down by Normski, whilst Ellon counterpart Ron Wells showed the keepers how to handle the conditions by plucking another sliced clearance out of the air with ease. On the half hour the home side grabbed the lead, just after we had agreed the game had 0-0 written all over it! Ellon were awarded a free kick just outside the box, and Ryan PETRIE stepped up and hit a fine effort into the corner to open the scoring. Seconds later Kevin Stewart had a good chance to equalise- he controlled the ball superbly but his volley threatened Mr Chairman's Range Rover in the car park more than it did the goal. Then just on half time we had a great chance to pull level. A far post cross was sailing a mile over everyone's heid, but for some reason one of the defenders took a right handfull of Stevie Watson's shirt despite there being no danger. It was a clear enough foul and a penalty was duly awarde. Neisher stepped up but Dickie Bow saved well diving to his right and Ellon took their advantage into the break.

The second half was just a couple of minutes old and we were back on level terms. We had a free kick in an identical position to that from which Ellon took the lead. NEISHER took the kick and made a better job than his penalty, with the ball ending up in the same corner as Petrie's earlier. Two mins later the Ginger One slipped a pass to Rae and he smashed a shot off the post. Neisher had a shot well saved by Bow as we enjoyed a decent spell. Cadger of Ellon collected the first yellow for a foul on Stweart, and Neil Mur soon followed into the book for a trip. Ellon then had a better spell and the old bloke had to save well from a Reid header, and from the resultant corner Henry hit a fine volley narrowly over. With 10 mins left we should have been on front- the Ginger One had a go from close in but Bow made a fine block, from the resulting scramble the ball was crossed to Stewart who headed off the bar, the rebound was cleared off the line before Neisher hit the post with the ball eventually being cleared. Then with 85 mins on the clock we found ourselves behind. We lost posession in the middle of our half cheaply, but Ellon sub Matty GAIRNS didn't worry about that and advanced to beat one of the Mur boys and fire into the bottom corner with a good finish. Bow saved well from a Stewart header, then a minute later the same player had another try with a header but for the 4th time we hit the woodwork as his header hit the post. A Neil Mur punt was then played on to McCrum but his volley was well saved. Just as it looked like it wasn't going to be our day we grabbed a point with the final move of the match. A Stevie Watson throw was flicked on by Neisher to big man McCRUM who nodded past Bow for the equaliser. It was certainly a relief to get something from the game after creating a number of chances yet looking like going home pointless.

Dyce  3  Hermes  1  (21/11/09)

We made it 7 points out of 9 in the last three weeks with a hard fought victory over Hermes at Ian Mair Park. It was really a game of two half's, as apart from a goal just before the break there wasn't that much of note happened in the opening 45. The second period was a different kettle of fish with all sorts going on. The first effort on goal came in the 5th minute when we got a free kick 25 yards out. Neisher curled one over the wall and beat the keeper but it hit the outside of the post. Macklin fired wide at the other end, before  Neisher had another go which this time just cleared the bar. Kirky snatched at ashot which went miles wide, before Stevie Watson collected the game's first yellow- a late one and no arguments. Kevin Stewart also suffered the same fate soon after, but on the basis he was just as late with his tackle he couldn't really complain either. At this point the game had 0-0 written all over it, but with just 4 mins of the half remaining we garbbed the lead. The old bloke punted a clearance up the park and it was flicked on to Stevie RAE and he adnavced to slot the ball past Reid for the opener. There was time before the break for the visitors' Freeland to talk his way into the ref's book......something that would cost him later.

The 2nd period started a bit better and Watson set Neisher away down the right, and his cross was just missed by the inrushing Ginger One and Rae. Then Hermes were on the attack and won a couple of successive corners which were both cleared. The rain that had looked ominously close all afternoon made its dreaded appearance, and did it big style as it didn't half start pi**ing down. We then had a collectors item for the season, as the old bloke got a kick over the half way line against the wind! Opposite keeper Reid made an excellent save from Neisher on 56 when he got down really well to his low shot. Hermes then had a 10 minute spell when it looked like they could maybe get on top, but then needed a fine blocking tackle from Freeland to stop the Ginger One's attempt. Midway through the half Luggies was next in the book for a tackle on Wilson, who promptly got up and shoved him away and was fortunate not to suffer a similar fate. Then in the 69th minute came the second goal. NEISHER collected a throw in well outside the box and skinned 3 or 4 defenders before firing home a damn good goal. But just a couple of minutes later the visitors were right back in it when a looping header by McKAY was palmed out by the back tracking old bloke. The ref waved play on but his assistant put his flag up to signal that the ball had crossed the line and it was game on again. Whilst writing about the goal Hermes almost grabbed another, although I'm nae sure what happened as I hoplessly scribbled away on a soaking notebook. THen another couple of mins later Hermes were reduced to 10 men. Neisher clearly nudged Freeland, and the defender got the free kick. For some reason he decided to pick the ball up and shove it Neisher's coupon and earned a second yellow and a red. Macklin hit one not too far wide of the post and at this point we really needed a 3rd goal to make sure of the points and with 10 mins left it came. Kevin Stewart was clean through and set to score, but was tackled from behind by McKendrick. The defender certainly got a foot on the ball but making a tackle like that in the box is always risky. Having awarded the penalty, the ref had little option but to show a straight red to the defender. There was a fair old delay in the kick being taken as the Hermes man gave the linesman dogs abuse on the way off, something which could land him in bother. When the dust settled NEISHER stepped up and netted from the spot. Kevin Stewart had a couple of chances to extend the lead but was off traget, before Kirky smacked one off the base of the post with Stewart hitting the top of the bar from the rebound in stoppage time. A very welcome 3 points against a team its never easy to get a result against.

FC Stoneywood  2  Dyce  2  (14/11/09)

On a heavy pitch at Polo Park, it is difficult to say if this was a point gained or two dropped. A goal down and a man down early on, it could be looked upon as a decent point- but having got ourselves into a winning position the loss of a late goal really means it was two dropped. Lyon fired one wide in the opening minute, before Lamb headed wide at the other end with the goal at his mercy as early exchanges were pretty even stuff. Then with just 7 minutes played came the first flashpoint of the game. Thoirs was late with a challenge and the Stoneywood player said something which obviously wound him up. As they went head to head Thoirs mitioned to nut the guy. It was never going to be a nose breaker, but it is something you just cannot do and it was an easy decision for ref Kerrigan to show him a straight red. I have defended some players previously who have been for an early shower, but this moment of madness simply cannot be defended. It left us to play 83 minutes on a boggy pitch a man short......which would take its toll later. With 24 mins played things got worse. Stevie Mur should have hoofed the ball into the trees on the left, but tried to let the ball run out and Michie nicked it off him. His low cross was blocked by Luggies, but the ball fell to RINTOUL 10 yards out and he netted easily. Lyon had another go from 20 yards and ex Dyce stopper Marwick (wearing a hideous pair of black tights!) parried the ball before clearing the rebound. On the half hour we managed to get on level terms. We were awarded a free kick outside the box and the NEISHSTER stepped up and hit a low shot. It seemed to go through the wall and took a nick off one of them on its way into the bottom corner. 10 minutes later we should have been in front. The Ginger One looked set to score but his shot was cleared off the line, and the rebound fell to Rae and his shot was also stopped on the line by a defender. It was good defending but we really ought to have scored. From the resulting corner Stewart got his head to the ball but Marwick made a fine stop.

The second have started with Neisher crossing for Stewart, but he just couldn't get his heid on the ball, then Rae skinned the full back and his cross came back off the face of the bar with Marwick beaten. Stewart had his name taken for a late one on Small, then Stephen of 'Wood put in an even later one but he escaped punishment. We had a let off just before the hour when a dangerous corner was swung in and the Ginger One had to head off the line. A few minutes later we were in front. Kirky flighted in a corner and it fell to NESIHER at the far post and he blasted home. Shortly after came another flashpoint. Steven Rae was clean through on goal and was bundled off the ball at the edge of the box. As clear a foul and sending off offence as we are likely to see this season, but play was waved on. It was a disappointing one as if we had got a third we would have probably gone on to win the match. The home side's Strachan was then given a yellow for some verbal, then Andy got a lecture for giving Kerrigan an opinion on the afore mentioned Rae incident. Anderson was next in the book for a foul on Rae, and from the resultant free kick there was a bit of basketball in the box as the ball was handled but no penalty was given. Soon after Strachan gave the ref a second bit of verbal and in return Kerrigan gave him a second yellow and it was ten a side for the last ten minutes. Rae almost grabbed a bizarre third for us as he closed down Marwick near the corner flag. The keepers clearance hit the striker and rebounded across the goal and only just missed the far post. Then with 83 mins played Stoneywood grabbed an equaliser. From a softish free kick the ball was swung in and BROOKS outjumped the old bloke to head in. There was no further scoring and both sides had to settle for a point each.

Culter  1  Dyce  2  (07/11/09)

What a difference a week makes.  Night & day, black & white, chalk & cheese......Dyce last week & Dyce this week!  After the horrors of Montrose we bounced back in fine style with an excellent win at Crombie Park against Culter. We have now won 3 and drawn the other of of four league matches there since gaining promotion (and also a win there in the Regional Cup a couple of years back). It was a fine day that greeted us when we arrived, and despite all the rain the pitch was looking in good nick, apart from a small area on the left which apparently just 'sunk'. The game kicked off with both teams trying to pass the ball around, but there was little in the way of goalmouth action. That was until the 14th minute when we took the lead.....from the most unlikely of sources. We won a corner on the right and Thoirs took an outswinger. It found GOGS who didn't have to break stride and his header was about as close as we'll see to a heider bursting the net as it flew into the top corner from 10 yards. The old bloke was back between the sticks for us with young Murray Kinnaird on youth cup duty with Calet Thistle, and he held a dangerous low ball into the box. With 20 played we should have been two up. This time Thoirs took an inswinging corner which Farquhar missed and Neisher headed over from about 3 yards. Culter's garioch collected the first yellow of the game for catching Watson, and the Neisher at one end and Wyness at the other tried their luck from distance without causing too much danger. On the half hour we had a free kick in an attacking position but we messed it up and Culter broke forward at pace, and Shand was through but the old bloke was out as fast as the old legs could manage and he made a great block. With 10 minutes of the half remaining we grabbed a well deserved second when Rae did brilliantly to control a high ball in the box and tried to tee up the Ginger One. He and a defender both went for it and the ball fell to THOIRS 10 yards out. He chested the ball down (although it was later mentioned that there may have been a hint of handball) and slammed home number two and that rounded off a great opening 45 for us.

The opening of the 2nd period saw Culter try to get back into the game but a couple of efforst went wide, with the old bloke not troubled at all. Ex Dycer Ogboke came on as a sub for Culter and fired one into the side net, but we continued to look quite comfortable. Then with 65 played the game totally changed. After a bit of a scramble in the box Ogboke went down under a challenge from Neil Mur. I was down at the other end and from there it really didn't look like a penalty, let alone a red card offence- which is what the referee deemed it to be. After walking round and gathering opinion from everyone behind the goal (mainly some very honest Culter committee and supporters), they ALL said it was definitely a spot kick but never in a month of Sundays a sending off. However that's what it was, and OGBOKE netted from the spot and it was game on. As you would expect Culter's tails were up and being down to 10 men it was going to be a long 25 minutes. Those 25 mins soon developed into a pattern of play. Culter had the lions share of posession and put us under pressure, although the old bloke didn't have that many shots on target to deal with. However he was diving at players feet and dealing with crosses, whilst the back four were outstanding in front of him and we held on to collect the points. Webby collected a late booking for obstruction, with Smith and Wilson of the home side also booked- both for verbal. It must be said though that apart from the red card for Neil, ref Braidwood handled the game well. The players didn't make it difficult for him, but he also didn't make it difficult for himself or the players which was fine to see.

Montrose Roselea  5  Dyce  0   (31/10/09)

After last season's cup heroics, this time round the run in the Scottish is as short as they come after this mother of all halloween horror shows. We just did not show up against the side who knocked us out of the same competion in January, highlighting just how inconsistent we have been this term. We opened on the front foot and forced a couple of corners with Neisher and The Ginger One heading them over. Craig hit a 30 yarder over at the other end, before the home side took the lead in the 4th minute. They won a corner on the left and MITCHELL swung it in. There seemed to be a total lack of communication and the ball somehow bounced into the far corner with no-one making any attempt to clear it. Kinnaird saved well from Longmiur soon after, then on 12 minutes things got even worse. Roselea won a free kick near the touchline and we went to sleep as the ball was pulled back to LONGMUIR. He had all day to decide what to do with it, but wasted no time in smacking a fine shot into the top corner. Minutes later we had a great chance to get one back when the Ginger One fired the ball across the face of goal but it was just out of Neisher's reach. Roselea were back up the other end and Kinnaird did well to block Longmuir's shot as he ran through. 5 minutes before the break the tie was as good as over, with MITCHELL running on to a lobbed through ball and netted his second of the afternoon.

At half time Edo warmed up, Edo came on, Edo promplty got himself booked for some backchat (he had a moan about lack of mentions on here so there's 3). There was a fair old stramash in our box, when Neil Mur was clearly fouled- but then Kerrigan went down and it could have been a penalty but the ref missed both. 3 mins in saw us get a free kick 25 yards out- Neisher fired it in and McLeod parried it with Lamberty putting the rebound over. The game then went through an untidy patch with both sides giving away a number of fouls, and this was compounded by a referee who started dishing out cards like a croupier and giving some rather odd decisions against both teams. Thoirs, Neil Mur and Steve Watson all picked up yellows, as did Graham of Roselea. With an hour gone it looked like we had pulled one back when Kirky crossed for Edo to net (thats 4 mentions now Edo)- but Mr Erratic decided he was offside. It looked a close call but there were no linesmen to assist him. Lamberty had a shot well saved by McLeod as we enjoyed our best spell of the game before there was more controversy with 65 played. Neil Mur tangled with Whyte of Montrose, and Neil received a 2nd yellow and off he went. The home player was given a straight red for his part, although in truth it looked like handbag stuff and maybe a bit harsh on both players. Kerrigan of Roselea was next in the book, followed by Cheyner (who was unlucky as it was an awful decision). The worst decision of all came soon after when Rae tried to cross the ball- but it hit a bobble and he sliced the ball out. With everyone walking back up the park Mr Erratic awarded a corner......it was almost laughable. Neisher put a volley wide  soon after, and then Craig's header at the other end looped down and off the bar. With 14 minutes left Roselea got their 4th when FRASER turned well 12 yards out and fired into the corner. Home sub MUSTARD was next in the book for a tackle on Goggs, but the striker also got himself on the scoresheet in stoppage time tapping home from close range.

Dyce  1  Sunnybank  2  (24/10/09)

This was another game where those with blue & white tinged specs may say we did enough to get something out of the game, whilst the Bankers specs will suggest they did enough to merit the 3 points. Either way both teams should be commended for putting on a decent show in truly awful conditions. I dont think I can ever recall the ball holding up in puddles on our park, as it soaks up water like no other but after the torrential rain through the week plus the pounding it got today it got a tad splashy to say the least. Indeed the game a couple of miles up the road at Stoneywood was abandoned due to the delauge of water. To be honest it wasn't that bad to start with, and Bank didn't think so as they raced into the lead as early as the 4th minute. A corner fell to Nicky GORDON at the far corner of the box, and he crossed the ball in and it deceived everyone and bounced into the far corner....a bit of a fluke but a goal all the same. Soon after Neisher crossed for Thoirs but Sweeney held his shot easily enough. The visitors went straight up the park and Craigie's shot was well stopped by Kinnaird. Then with 16 on the clock we were level- Cheyner's free kick was headed out to debutant Scott WHELAN, who showed great technique to send a volley goalwards from 25 yards. It flew into the net, although there was a slight deflection off Craigie on the way. Unfortunately our lead lasted all of about 90 seconds. We were piling forward and when Bank broke up the attack the were on the front foot and a through ball found GORDON racing through from the centre circle and he netted his second. Kinnaird made a fine stop from Craigie's header before at the other end Neisher set up big man McCrum and he netted from 15 yards but the flag was up for offside. Craigie headed wide from a cross and then Neisher did well to keep the ball in and crossed for Thoirs but Steel did well to clear. Bank sub Shand collected the only yellow of the first half a minute or two after coming on for a late one on Stevie Watson.

For the second half the the players came out to rain even worse than the first. Bank were first to threaten when Stevie Mur diverted a free kick towards his own goal but Kinnaird did well to block. Whelan was our first player in the book for a late one, with the resulting free kick coming to nowt. Gogs got caught 30 yards out but Greig's shot didn't threaten, then Thoirs had his name taken for a late one. Soon after the visitors Gordon also had his name taken for an even later one. Minutes later it looked like Stevie Watson would suffer a similar fate, but he got away with a lecture (a touch fortunate!). Bank's Gordon then asked the whistler for an explanation of why Stevie didn't get a yellow......probably asked in a slightly aggressive manner as he picked up a 2nd yellow and off he went to leave the visitors to play the final 20 with ten men. Fettes was next in the book for a late one, as tackles began to fly in from both sides, although many probably looked worse than they were due to the horrendous conditions. Chances dried up as everything else did the opposite- it looked more like water polo for a while. We thought we might have to throw a rubber ring on to save McCrum from drowning as the water level increased. With a couple of minutes to go the ball fell to Whelan 20 yards out and although he connected well his shot was too straight and Sweeney held on easily. So the final whistle went, and Bank made it 16 wins out of 16 for the season- a great achievement although few will have gone to the wire like this one.

Maud  2  Dyce  4  (17/10/09)

Maud's league record at home before this match was a pretty impressive 3 wins and a draw from their 4 games, with 14 goals scored and only 2 conceded. Our form has been patchy to say the least so obviously we were well chuffed to come away from Pleasure Park with such a good win. From the off we looked up for it and in the 6th minute comeback man Stevie Mur set up the Ginger One but his shot was well parried by Simpson in the home goal. The Neishster and Cheyner then combined to set up thoirs but again Simpson was equal to it with a fine save. From the resultant corner the ball was returned to Thoirs and he crossed to the far post where Neisher cut the ball back for the GINGER ONE to net from 6 yards. 10 mins in came the first booking of the afternoon and incredibly it wasn't one of our lot! Maud's Robertson received the yellow for what Bill described as a 'good howk' at Stevie Mur (I was looking elsewhere at the time!). Thoirs shot wide before he levelled up the yellow stakes. Maud had a good chance when Gogs gave away a fould at the edge of the box but Robertson's effort flew well over, with Ligertwood's shot going wide soon after as Maud tried to come back into it although we were looking quite comfortable at this point. With 8 mins of the half remaining things got even more comfortable when Neil Mur played a pasback to debutant keeper Murray Kinnaird and his hefty clearance cleared the back four and the GINGER ONE was through. As Simpson advanced from his goal he headed the ball over him and in for the second to round off an excellent 45 mins for us.

Gogs had the first effort of the second half from 25 yards, but showed why he plays at the back and doesn't venture forward too often! Ballard had a go from similar distance at the other end and was marginally closer. Then 17 minutes into the 2nd period it was game on. The ball was played to Powell at the edge of the box and slipped it to Gibby STEPHEN and he netted from 12 yards- it made a change to see a goal against us that wasn't gift wrapped! At the other end Neisher headed a free kick across goal but Simpson got there before big man McCrum could pounce. Maud had their first spell on top with Kinnaird saving well from McDonald and Ligertwood heading a corner over. We came through that wee spell and looked dangerous again and after 83 mins restored our two goal lead. A corner found Gav WALKER at the far post. He headed against a defenders back, but when the ball landed at his feet again he lashed a left pegger high into the net off the inside of the post. Maud tried to get back into things and Kinnaird did well to tip over a Norris header, before our win was sealed in the final minute. A quick throw was taken to Hardie breaking down the left. His low cross saw McCrum and Greg LAMBERTY breaking into the box. the latter gatherd the ball and coolly netted number 4 on his debut. Whilst I was writing that down Maud took centre and a cross found BALLARD who headed home a consolation. Overall it was a great 3 points and a well deserved win as apart from a short spell in the second half we pretty much controlled things. Stevie Mur being back was a boost and the two young debutants both also did very well to round off a fine afternoon (well it was rounded off even more by the usual first class hospitality and banter with the home committee!).

Dyce  2  Hall Russell Utd  1   (10/10/09)

After the disappointment of the last couple of weeks, we collected a welcome 3 points against a spirited Halls team. We were pretty poor in the opening half, although credit must go to the visitors, who despite struggling at the wrong end of the table played some decent stuff. Thankfully a kick up the ass at half time seemed to work as the 2nd half was far better. The opening quarter hour didn't  produce much goalmouth action, Dunn heading wide from a free kick being the only thing resembling a chance. For a while it was more like watching a basketball match as we had god knows how many free kicks against us for handball. Thoirs had our first effort with a mazy run that ended with hime firing a left pegger wide. Russell's forced a corner in the 18th minute and the giant Whitfield got his blonde bonce on the ball and it looked netbound until the old bloke got across and made a tremendous save, once more defying his advancing years. But just two minutes later the giant one would have better luck, and once again it was a goal against that goes under the comic cut category. We were awarded a free kick wide in the left in our own half. Some tippy tappy crap between Neil Mur and Gogs resulted in the ball being intercepted and Shaw was away on the right. He got to the byeline and cut the ball back for WHITFIELD to sweep home from 8 yards. 0-1, damn. Neisher collected the game's first booking on 27, and an unlucky one it was as Mrs Hardie was spot on when she said her Fairy Liquid at home was more powerful than his tackle on Davidson. Stevie Watson was just as unlucky soon after- he was having a right old tussle with the giant one all afternoon. Both were guilty of fouling on various occasions, but Stevie hardly got a single decision and eventually voiced his opinion in frustration to earn his yellow. The old bloke saved well from the giant one's 30 yarder, while at the other end Duguid held efforts from Hardie and Neisher. Then with just 2 minutes of the half remaining we got ourselves level. Duguid made a hash of collecting a headed passback and dropped the ball. Big man McCrum pounced and the keeper redemmed himself by blocking well, but the rebound fell to THOIRS 20 yards out and he thumped home the equaliser. We almost went ahead a minute later when Neisher curled in a great 30 yarder but Duguid was equal to it and turned it wide.

The first half started with a tackle on McCrum which was so late it could have been in next week's game, foul given but no yellow. No consistency given what the Neishster was booked for! Sub Kirky put a great ball across the face of goal but there were no takers, and when it went wide it was fired across again and this time Hardie was there and he shot wide from 10 yards.....should have scored. Cheyner was next to have a go and his shot was deflected into the path of Neisher who volleyed into the side net. Neil Mur was next in the book, and again it was a 'Fairy Liquid' tackle according to Mrs H. Halls Davidson was next in the book for a foul on Cheyner, and when the free kick was played wide to Thoirs his cross was well caught by Bill, who was standing 20 yards behind the goal! We were well on top at this stage, with the Ginger One heading wide, then Neisher sclaffing one just past too. The visitors were still a threat on the break though and Shaw cut in from the left and his shot was deflected over for a fruitless corner. With quarter of an hour to go Thoirs and Cortes were both booked, aabsolutely nobody seemed to know what for but we assume something off the ball. Neither seemed to be complaining much so I daresay they were deserved. Amazing, after 79 mins of 50/50 tussling Stevie Watson got a free kick!!  Next in the book was Grant Mitchell (not the baldy fat one from Eastenders) for a late tackle in the 84th minute. Kirky flighted in the kick and found the NEISHSTER whose header looped in to give us the lead. It was a lead that we held until the final whistle to take the points. As with most games this season it was a game that both teams enjoyed spells on top. Russells had the better of the first half whilst we had the second. The dominance of the opeing half hour of the second period probably merited the 3 points, but it would be preferable if we played like that for 90 mins a bit more often!

Longside  3  Dyce  2  (03/10/09)

It's getting damn annoying writing about games that we shouldn't have lost but did, but here's another one. It was a game that it could be said possibly shouldn't have started, but certainly shouldn't have finished. At one point longside keeper Thomson (who has a good kick on him) took a goal kick. The gale took hold of the ball and blew it straight back behind him and out for a corner. If that is deemed suitable conditions for football then I'm as Scottish as Jimmy Hill. The score at that point was 2-2, common sense would tell anyone that it was a nonsense to continue, and harsh on both sets of players to be asked to try and play in that. Anyhow continue it did and we proceeded to throw away 3 points after being two up. The game started with the old bloke taking a goal kick ond only just clearing the edge of his box and Webby fouled Danton. The free kick came to nowt. Then in the 5th minute we took the lead when a Neil Mur free kick was flicked on by Walker to the GINGER ONE, and he contolled the ball and fired it into the bottom corner. A great tackle by Bruce prevented the Ginger One adding to his tally, but with 19 mins played we grabbed the second. Kirky's pass found Edo racing into the box and he rounded Thomson before squaring to WALKER who tapped home from 6 yards. 3 mins later the home side should have pulled one back when Davidson disposessed Neisher on the byline and his ball across the face of goal found Wood, who somehow shot over from just a few yards out. Webby was first in the book, and as usual with Webby there wasn't much doubt about it when he clattered one of the Longside lads. The far side linesman was causing no end of confusion at times by signalling the ball was out for a throw, but not flagging as to which team was getting it. Only when the ref decided (dont think he was too sure either) did the linesman flag. Then he awarded Longside a corner when Kirky played the ball off Wood, and the ref gave a goal kick. When the goal kick was given the linesman's flag slowly changed position to also award a goal kick! The old bloke held a looping header on the line under pressure, but with 7 mins of the half left Longside pulled one back. The ball was played forward to Murray, who was about a yard offside but was coming back. Again the flagger missed that one and Murray flicked the ball on to DANTON who finished well.

We started the 2nd half with the Neishster firing in a wind assisted free kick which Thomson held well, but 4 mins in it was all square due to a combination of the elements and defending more kamikaze than a Japanese fighter pilot. A free kick was ounted towards our goal, and the old bloke came out to collect. The problem was that the ball got held up in the wind and he got nowhere near it. There was a bit of a stramash and eventually the ball fell to DAVIDSON who stabbed home from around 10 yards. Neil Mur was next in the book, this time for some chatting to the other linesman who by now was wanting to get involved in things. 5 mins after that Neil was hauled to the ground beside the byline and the man on the line awarded Longside the free kick. Nonsense. Neisher had another go from a free kick and this time Thomson did well to tip the ball over, then soon after another similar attempt went just wide. The fluo footed one then had his name taken for a tackle that can only be described as tame. Then came the goal kick incident that turned into a corner.....it was a farce. Edo then looked to be clean through but the flagger (the one from the first half!) soon had the flag up, despite Edo being in his own half. The old bloke then fumbled a cross, Kirky didn't clear and Wood had a great chance but fired over. Beddie was the first home player to have his name taken for a late tackle on the Neishster, and when he got up he smashed the free kick off the underside of the bar. Then with just 3 mins left Longside grabbed the lead. A cross from the right found DAVIDSON in acres of space in the box. A couple of supporters up that end thought he could well have been offside but I was down the other end so have no idea at all if he was. Anyhow his header looped into the far corner and it was 3-2. There was still time for the flagger (2nd half one) to cause more havoc as Kirky shielded the ball out for a goal kick beside the corner flag. He was bundled over and the flagger gave a corner. Understanably Kirky wasn't too happy about it, but he shouldn't have booted the ball away like he did. The flagger almost got in the way of it and he didn't appear too happy about it and Kirky had his name taken. And so it ended 3-2, a bit of a farce of a game but it somehow went the full 90 and the homesters took the points.

Hillhead  4  Dyce  2  (26/09/09)

The trophy we have won for the least two years will not be retained after slumping to defeat at Hillhead. It is a bit of a bogey ground for us as in my time at the club we have never managed to get any kind of result up there. For a long time it looked like we may grind out a winner when the score was 1-1, but with 88 mins played it looked like penalties were on the way. Then things went mental with goals galore in the final couple of minutes. The early stages were ok, with Edo smacking a 20 yarder off the bar, and keeper Poupard having to tip over Hardie's sclaffed cross. At the other end Polski fired over and the old bloke held Forbes' header. Then on 25 we grabbed the lead. Kirky's corner was headed accross goal by Neisher and THOIRS was at the far post to nod home. The lead didn't last long as a few mins later Goggs had to put in a great tackle to force a corner. When the kick was flighted it our lads did their best to look like they were playing musical statues without the music. The ball landed at Paul LEAHY and he didn't hang about and skelped a fine volley past the old bloke. We went back up the other end and Hardie had a shot well held by the keeper, then Leahy tried to add to his goall tally with a free kick but managed to clear the big fence behind the goal. We had a decent little spell just before the break with Poupard tipping over the Ginger One's shot, and from the kick the ball was flicked on to Stevie W at the far post and his headre came back off the post.

The second half opened with Leahy having another go, but the old bloke saved well, then the Neishsters free kick was blocked by the wall. And for the remainder of the half we shaded things, but lacked a cutting edge and chances were at a premium. So as we entered the 89th minute we all started thinking of who will take the penalties. But then for some unknown reason we decided to pile everyone forward for a set piece and left ourselves woefully short at the back. At one point it was 5 v 3 as the Hillheiders broke forward after our set piece went Pete Tong. The ball was worked to STRACHAN at the edge of the box. He mentioned in the pub after he was to knackered to run any further so he just leathered the ball instead. It was a fair hit though as it flew past the old bloke into the top corner. Then a minute later more comic cut stuff at the back saw us gift posession to the home side at the edge of our own box. CORMACK was the one this time to accept the gift, and like Strachan made the most of it by curling a fine one in from 18 yards. Whilst I was wrining that down in the notebook the game restarted and by the time I looked up again Gavin WALKER had pulled one back. God knows if it was a good goal or not! However straight from the kick off Hillhead played the ball up to our box, where we took posession again. But again we started arsing around and gave it away once more, this time ex Dycer SIMMY took advantage and strolled in to make it 4. For 88 mins it had looked like we certainly wouldn't lose the game, but the final few minutes were a terrible way to lose our grip on the trophy, but well done to the Hillheiders who kept plugging away until the end. We certainly assisted them with their goals by gifting them the ball, but they didn't half finish them well.

Dyce  2  East End  1  (19/09/09)

We picked up 3 valuable points in this one, wjich was a game of two half's. Sometimes the term winning ugly is referred to- in this case our second half was the Freddy Kruger of ugliness. Yet it all started so promisingly, two up after just 6 mins. The opener was in the 2nd minute when the NEISHSTER collected the ball wide and skined the full back. He then skinned the centre half, the full back again, the centre half again another couple of times before eventually curling a fine low shot into the corner. Soon after Hardie hit one from 25 yards which Barney fumled wide for a corner. From ex Eastender Kirky's inswinger the NEISHSTER headed home. Couldn't have asked for much of a better start and for a while it looked like we might run up a cricket score. Hardie had a shot blocked and one was deflected wide. End reminded us they were a danger though and after the old bloke went walkies at a corner Thoirs had to hoof Taylors shot off the line. The remainder of the half saw plenty endeavor but clear chances became fewer. Just before the break the ball went out and stand in linesman Auton almost went over the barrier to retrieve it but was close to splitting his breeks and decided against it. Wise move as it would not have been pretty!

The second half basically saw us stop playing altogether, and after Stewart headed at the old bloke End were back in it on 49. Gogs and Neil Mur seemed to hesitate and the ball fell to TAYLOR at the edge of the box and he hooked a shot goalwards. It seemed to have the pace of a slug, but it sailed over the old bloke and in. It was like watching a slow-mo replay. Within a minute we should have restored the two goal cushion when Thoirs and the Ginger One linked up and there was a stramash in the 6 yard box but the visitors managed to clear. Soon after End had a great chance when a through ball found Taylor in the box but the old bloke sprinted out as fast as an old bloke can and made a great block at the strikers feet.  Edo lobbed one just wide and Stewart headed off his own bar as we tried to step things up a bit, with the away side also coming close on a couple of occasions. A good move between Edo and the Ginger One saw the former square the ball to the latter. Teed up nicely we thought for the ball to be placed into the bottom corner. Nope, out it went for a throw in beside the corner flag. End continued to battle away and for the remainder of the game the lead stayed intact, albeit the lead wasn't one of the comfortable variety! With just 3 mins remaining we were thinking how the heck we had managed to get through 87 without a booking. We stopped wondering seconds later when Edo wasn't overly impressed with a free kick award and leathered the ball away and duly got a yellow. The visitors had two names taken in what was a relatively quiet game for a change.

FC Stoneywood  1  Dyce  3  (12/09/09)

After the disappointment of losing our grip on the League Cup we got back to winning ways in the Inter Regional Cup with what was eventually a reasonably comfortable win at Polo Park. In the opening half hour there was absolutely diddly squat between the teams but two goals in as many minutes totally changed the game and from then on we looked certain winners. The game opened with Crombie swinging in a good free kick for the home side and despite two men being free at the far post neither got their bonce on the ball. Edo curled in a dangerous corner at the other end which was fumbled under pressure by the keeper but the ball was hacked clear. Play swung from end to end but the keepers were hardly over worked as shots on target were about as frequent as Auton standing his hand. Then on the half hour the game swung in our favour big time. Firstly Hardie chipped a good ball over the back four and EDO ran from deep. As the keeper came out he lobbed the ball over him with a fine finish, 1-0. Less than two minutes later the lead was doubled with a similar goal. This time the chipped ball over was diagonal and it was LUGGIES who ran on to it and from an identical position lobbed an identical shot over the identical stranded keeper, 2-0 and in command now. However we still needed the old bloke to save well from a Crombie header just before the break, then it was in at half time to get some shade from the rather hot sun.......not that the satsuma in the dugout was complaining about it!

We started the 2nd period on the front foot and Luggies had a go from 25 with his left peg, and clearly demonstrated why he doesn't use it very often. Then on 51 mins it was game over. A great move down the right saw Edo cross for the Ginger One who was bundled over by Fraser 6 yards out. The ball fell to Hardie who blasted over but ref McKenzie saved his blushes by pointing to the spot for the original foul. Up stepped the NEISHSTER and he slammed the ball into the corner for the 3rd. In the aftermath of the award Fraser was booked, though with some refs it could have been worse for going chest to chest with the whistler, the Crombie also had his name taken for verbal. The next 20 mins saw us play some good stuff, particularly down the right with Edo and Thoirs linking up well and chances were created but also missed. Credit must go the Stoneywood keeper Fraser though as he made a couple of decent stops, including one tremendous save from the Ginger One. Changes were made near the end with Luggies being replaced for breathing through his behind, though Edo could easily have suffered the same fate for doing likewise! With the game in the bag we switched off a bit in the last 10 and DELMAESTRO pulled one back with 6 mins left. He picked the ball out wide, about 2 yards from the touchline and his cross deceived the old bloke and flew into the far corner. A bit of a fluke but they all count. Michie lobbed one over soon after but it was too little too late and we saw out time with no further damage.

Dyce  0  Longside  0  (2-3 on pens)    (05/09/09)

Our grip on the League Cup was lost at Ian Mair Park after a penalty shoot out with Longside. We have had a number of games recently where they have been end to end stuff and could easily have gone either way, but this one was quite simply a game we should never have lost- but really we have no-one to blame but ourselves. After a dire first half we dominated the second but couldn't find the net, and then unusually for us we missed 3 in the shoot out. Wouldn't be so bad of their keeper made 3 great saves, but both keepers made one excellent stop each with one of our others hitting the bar and another going wide. Before the game we received no copy team lines from the officials so apologies to the Longside players but they will just be referred to as One, Two, Three etc. As said previously not much happened in the first half, the Neishster headed over from a free kick and Gogs had to clear at the other end after Nine rounded the old bloke and crossed from the left. McCrum went close from a Gogs cross, then the beanpole Neishster was booked for requesting to the linesman go do something with himself- that was after he flagged us for about the 14th time. The last closing 10 mins of the half saw Longside have enough posession, but efforts were retricted to long distance shots which didn't trouble the old bloke. In between them sub Thoirs was given a yellow- no arguments on that one, blatant trip.

Into the second half and we started on the front foot. Edo squared towards McCrum, but it was cleared for a corner just before it reached the big man. Lyon was next in the booked for taking offence to a late tackle by Eleven, who also had his name taken. Thoirs had a shot from the edge of the box held and big man McCrum almost created a chance after rounding the keeper out wide. Longside broke upfield and won a free kick which Ten blasted not too far wide of the post but we were soon attacking again. The Ginger One sprinted down the right (yes, he sprinted!) and his low cross found McCrum at the far post and his shot hit the bar before being scrambled clear for a corner. From the kick the Beanpole's netbound header was cleared off the line with the keeper beaten. If ever there was evidence that you should leave a full back on the post at corners that was it! The Neishster volleyed incehes wide with the keeper stranded, then the stopper held another effort well soon after. McCrum had the ball in the net with 10 to go but the flag was already up, despite the ball coming off a visiting defender. Luggies hit one over in the final minute and there was a scare in injury time when Fourteen looked to be through but the old bloke was out quick (well as quick as an old bloke can move) and he smothered at his feet. Both the and Fourteen required treatment after their clash, though in reality the old boy probably just wanted a break. So into pens we went, and got off to the worst possible start- the visiting keeper pulling off a fine save to deny the Ginger One. Twelve netted for them as did Kirky for us, then Two scored as did Lyon. The old bloke saved well from Eight and at that point it was 2-2 after 3 kicks each. Then it went Pete Tong. the Neishster was next, and although he beat the keeper he didn't beat the bar and the ball rebounded back. One then netted for the visitors meaning that Edo had to score. He was obviously distracted by some shouts from the side, and just before stepping up shouted back. Within 2 seconds he had hit his shot but pulled it wide and it was game over. On a plus point it was good to see us looking more solid defensively, but we need to start killing teams off when we are on top otherwise we will keep getting punished.

Dyce  1  Banchory St Ternan  2  (29/08/09)

(this week by the guest scribe......edited of course!)

Banchory came to Ian Mair Park and left with the points thanks to two well taken goals by Jack Meldrum. After 3 mins he got his first after good play down the wing by Alan Ogston who laid the ball back to MELDRUM who was waiting unmarked at the edge of the 18 yard box and he had time to pick his spot to the old blokes right hand side. We were not playing the ball on the deck and giving it away to easy, though we created chances but could not find a way pass Greg Sim in the Banchory goal. Kirky was was put in by edo and did well to get his shot away which only found the side netting due to the fact the left back was pulling at him all the way into the box. From a corner Sim punched clear only as far as the penalty spot the ball bounced up on to Ogstons hand and rolled down his arm you guessed it Mr Veitch waves play on as play roared on to the other end Banchory had their own appeals for a pen turned down- if it wasnt a pen it should have been a goal kick but the whistler awarded a corner.

Banchorys 2nd goal started from a Dyce corner- Sim again punched clear as far as Shand who broke away without getting closed down and found himself in the dyce half as he looked up he spotted MELDRUM again unmarked at the edge of the box and he picked his spot. We then had 3 good chances easily saved by Sim.

2nd Half

We started to knock the ball around a lot better, attempts in the second were very far and between. Some of the players were getting frustrated with the whistler, which resulted in 3 players in his note book. Phil Watson from BST was one for what appeared to be a well timed tackle on the beanpole but ref deemed it to be a foul and Phil had to say something which Mr Veitch didnt like. We finally took one of other chances after Murray had broken up play in the Hoops half he decided he would go on a run and fed the ball through to MCCRUM who's shot from 18 Yards was fired beyond Sim into his right hand corner. We had further chances and hit the woodwork twice, but the game finished 2-1. Overall we didnt take our chances and might fell a wee bit hard done by. The real scribe checked the match details with the official press who confirmed that perhaps a draw might have been a fair result, but we didn't take our chances when we had them- so fair play to Saints who are a decent side and obviously took two of theirs. Onwards and upwards and an improvement will be needed in the Grill Cup quarter final against a Longside outfit who are going very well so far this season.

Buchanhaven Hearts  3  Dyce  3   (22/08/09)

Our transformation from last season continues. We were the team that (along with champions Banks O'Dee) had the most miserly defence, but just didn't score nearly enough goals. We are now banging in an average of two and a half goals per game, but chucking them in at the other end with almost the same frequency. In this one, like certain previous games, both sides will claim they should have won. Hearts will point to the old bloke having to make two good saves and also hitting the post. We on the other hand scored 3 decent goals from open play, only to gift equalisers on each occasion within 5 minutes of our goals.....alarmingly all from set pieces. Had we defended them properly we would have taken the points. Considering this, plus the overall posession and chances probably a draw was a fair result. The opening 20 saw little of note happening, the closest to a goal being when home keeper Gatt held a Neisher free kick and the old bloke had to make a smart save low down at the other end when McLean found space in the box. Kirky hit the wall from a dangerous position with a free kick and then in the 39th minute we took the lead. The ball was played wide to Hardie, and he swept in a good cross which saw NEISHER and Simpson both try to get their heid's on the ball. Neither really managed that well but the loose ball was slammed into the net by the beanpole. Not long until half time, good time to score we thought. However 90 seconds later Webby gave away a needless foul and collected a yellow. The ball was floated in and Kevin CUNNINGHAM glanced in a header after being given acres of space in the box (not too clever considering he's like something from land of the giants!!).

Hearts started the second period with another set piece and a nother glancing header had to be hooked off the line by Hardie. 6 mins in and we were in front again with easily the best goal of the game. Some great passing involving Hardie, Luggies, Neisher and Luggies again saw the latter slip the ball to JORDAN and he rifled it into the top corner from 15 yards out. Neisher had a go with a 25 free kick soon after but the ball went nearer Fraserburgh than the goal. Then 5 minutes after Jordan's goal came Hearts' second equaliser....set piece again. This time the old bloke didn't collect a corner and Kris KEITH was on hand to hook the ball home from 6 yards. 3 mins later we almost grabbed the lead again when Jordan's cross found Kirly at the far post but his shot went wide, but another 3 mins after that on 63 the lead was restored. Luggies and Edo linked up and the ball was layed back to Neil Mur. He curled in a cross which beat the first defender and Callum LYON had run from deep to the far post and headed in. Surely we would learn to hold the lead this time......how wrong- as just 4 minutes later we were at it again. Another daft free kick given away 20 yards out. This time Hearts worked the kick well with MARCHI shaping up to shoot but instead slipped the ball past the wall to Barbour in space. The old bloke did well to save but the ball spun up into the air. No-one decided to follow the original free kick taker and he headed home the third equaliser from just a couple of yards. From then on it could have gone either way. The old bloke saved well from Marchi after some namby pamby mucking around at the edge of the box and Barbour hit the post from 12 yards. At the other end Lyon had the ball in the net but the whistle had already gone for a foul and Neisher had one cleared off the line and the game ended with the points shared.

Dyce  3  Lewis Utd  2  (18/08/09)

A valuable 3 points were collected on another evening of mayhem at Ian Mair Park- the first half giving no indication of the chaos that was to follow in the second. Straight from the kick off Neisher fed Walker but his shot lacked pace and was easily held. Cookie then missed from a yard before Gairns went on a mazy at the other end but was stopped by Neil Mur....eventually!Hardie at one end then Davidson at the other both hit efforts wide before we took th elead midway through the half. Cookie was clean through but Braidwood came out of his box and headed clear. The ball fell to Walker who lobbed over Braiders but Paul cleared off the line. This time the ball fell to Chris HARDIE and he netted from 20 yards. The Ginger One had the ball in the net from a corner but it was disallowed for some phantom offence, though to be honest it probably wasn't a corner anyway! Davidson had a chance for the visitors but the old bloke saved well with Kirky clearing the rebound, but a minute later the visitors got their equaliser. Matty GAIRNS cur in from the left and hit a low left pegger in off the old blokes left hand post. The visitor's sub Todd then had his name taken for some verbal from the dugout. Their centre half Paul  soon followed just on half time for impeding Walker as he raced in on goal, with Helson also having his name taken for chit chat......it would cost him later. From the free kick the ball fell to Luggies in the box and he was taken down 6 yards out. The ref must have been unsighted as nowt was given and he blew for half time.

We started the 2nd half well with Hardie forcing a tremendous save from Braidwood, then Kirky clipped a free kick wide. The Ginger One became our first booking for a late one, before the mild mad stuff started. The ball was played wide to Davidson, and the linesman flagged. No offside given and Lewis won a corner. Neil Mur asked why the linesman is there and was booked for his trouble. From the kick the old bloke had to make a fine stop low down. With 58 on the clock we grabbed the lead for the 2nd time- a quick free kick was played up to NEISHER and he turned well 18 yards out and fired into the top corner. Shortly after the old bloke was impeded as he tried to throw the ball out and Lewis won a corner. Steve Watson offered his opinion on the incident- booking. Less than a minute later the Celtic lookalikes were back on level terms again. A free kick looked like it was going straight through to the old bloke but WEBBY managed to deflect it past him for an OG. Neisher had one well saved and Jordan hit one wide then the real chaos began. Helson tackled Lyon with his studs raised and received a second yellow, and ultimately red. 4 mins later his team mate Moir was in the book for verbal. Another 3 mins later Gairns was next for a tame looking tackle- may have been something said after. With 10 mins to play the Ginger One was pushed as a cross came into the box. Technically it was a foul, although perhaps not of the stonewall variety (the one in the first half was more of that type!). NEISHER took the kick and sent Braidwood the wrong way. 2 mins after that Lewis manager Ian Davidson was sent from the dugout for something said- safe to say it would have been too complimentary. Ref Forbes went back to the middle of the park to get the game going when the dust had settled, but before he could he was back at the Lewis dugout to brandish a straight red card to sub Todd and he joined his coach inside. A further 3 mins later the old bloke collected a low cross and Paul caught his balding heid with his boot. It was at the other end of the park so I dont have a scooby if there was any intent or not. The linesman obviously thought so and brought it to the attention of the whistler who promptly issued the Lewis defender with his second yellow and the over worked red card. The final whistle soon followed and the officials could get started on their lengthy paperwork.

Stonehaven  0  Dyce  3  (15/08/09)

To make it through to the konockout stages of the League Cup we needed a victory at Glenury Park, and hope that Forres Thistle could grab a win at polo Park against FC Stoneywood. To keep our side of that bargain we made the best possible start as with barely a minute on the clock we were ahead. The Stoney defence failed to clear their lines and the ball was eventually laid of to COOKIE 25 yards out and he fored home a fine opener. Gav Walker almost set up a second soon after but his cut back went straight to Smith in the home goal. With quarter of an hour gone a good move doen the left by the hosts saw the ball played to Sinclair in the box but he shot wide from 12 yards when he should really have hit the target. 10 mins later new signing Thoirs set up hardie but his close range shot was well parried by Smith. Cookie was next to have a go when he turned well at the edge of the box but again Smith was up to the task and saved well. Then with seconds of the half remaining we grabbed a second goal, and not a bad one either. Gav Walker did brilliantly to skin Low on the left and his low cross found THOIRS. He seemed to have lost the chance as he was challenged but somehow from lying on his ass he managed to volley home number 2.

The Hive tried to get back into the game in the early stages of the 2nd half and Armstrong found some space in the box but fired straight at the old bloke. Then 5 mins intothe 2nd period it was game over. Stuart Robertson hit a passback to keeper Smith. It was a wee bit firm and as Smith tried to control the ball COOKIE nicked the ball off him and easily netted number 3. Sinclair hit one over at the other end and after that the chances dried up a bit. the next 20 mins or so almost looked like an end of season game as both side realised that the result was now in no doubt. We had a couple of penalty claims late on- the first being when Walker looked like he may have been impeded by Bambi as he raced into the box, Soon after Cookie was clean through and was clearly taken out by Smith. The first one was a possible, the second a definite but neither was given. In saying that we shouldn'y be too harsh on the whistler as overall he had a decent game despite not having linesmen to assist. So we saw out time easily enough to take the points and then had to wait on the Stoneywood score coming in. Hats off to forres Thistle for managing to beat them 5-2, meaning that we progress to the knockout stages in our quest to retain the trophy.

Banks O'Dee  2  Dyce  1  (11/08/09)

The great thing about footie is that everyone can have their own opinions. Those with the hooped glasses (royal and white ones) would say with some justification we could and possibly should have got something out of this game. The other hooped ones (those of sky and navy persuasion) may well, again justified, say that the way they played in the opening spell of the second half merited the win. Either way, the general consensus of all was that this was a very entertaining match with very little between the sides, played at a great pace in the right spirit (apart from one misdemeanor at the end which I'll mention later). Well in fact the first part of the said misdemeanor occured after 90 seconds when Edo picked up a yellow for a late tackle in the centre circle. 5 min in and Dee had a great chance when the ball fell to Foy at the far post but the returning old bloke (who had as much suntan after his hols as a pint of milk) made a fine block. For the next half hour we went at the homesters and took an early lead. A through ball found the Neishster who made a good run, and his lay off was right into the path of COOKIE who rifled home from 25 yards with the aid of a deflection. Lyon had a great chance just after but shot straight at Pennet, then there was a right stramash in the box and really someone ought to have forced home the second.Cookie was then onto a through ball and only had the keeper to beat but Pennet was off his line quick and saved at the edge of the area.......should have been number two though. A free kick was then floated into the box and as Pennet came out luggies beat him to the ball. The goal was totally unguarded and if the header was anywhere on target it would have been in, but it dropped over the bar. Cookie was next in the book, slightly harsh and Ally H received a lecture for voicing his opinion on it. Neisher was next to have a go and his 20 yarder went just wide, but then with 10 or 15 to play the homesters came back into things. A great move down the left saw Turnbull hit the far post with a low shot and Foy somehow missed the rebound from about two and a half feet. Turnbull then swung over a cross that missed all the attackers and almost caught out the old bloke, but came off the face of the bar. The final chance of the half fell to Cookie but his shot on the run worried the fish in the river more than it did the keeper.

After our early onslaught in the first half it was Dee's turn in the second. A couple of dangerous crosses were cleared early on and McWilliam did the same as Turnbull earlier and almost fluked a gioal with a cross that hit the bar- the rebound fell to Foy but the old bloke made a fine bloke from his close range effort. 10 mins into the half came the equaliser that had been on the cards. The impressive Turnbull put in a cross which took a deflection off Webby's heid, and FOY was there to head home from 6 yards. On the hour we should have restored our lead when a great passing move down the right saw Webby's low cross find Luggies. He really should have scored but credit to Pennet who made a damn fine save. We weren't half punished for that as 90 seconds later Dee were on the attack again and from McWilliam's cross WHYTE headed in for their second. After Dee's flurry of attacking the game levelled out for the final 20, with the clear chances becoming fewer at either end. The pace was still good as both teams competed well, though Neil Mur was unlucky to collect a yellow for an innocuous (is that how you spell it??!!) tackle. Now, back to the misdemeanor mentioned earlier. Having seen the game played the way it should, and seeing Edo play the last 88 minutes on a tightrope (and doing it well), came a moment of madness. Edo bundled over Reid, and could easily have picked up a second yellow. Ref McNab decided to let him off with it and simply award Dee a free kick. But when the midfielder decided to punch the ball away the whistler had no option but to issue a second yellow followed by the red. It was a shame that such a good game ended with such a daft moment. Overall then it was disappointing, but we could quite easily have had the match sewn up in the opening half hour- but it shows how far we have come in recent seasons that we can now visit the two time champions without Stevie Mur, Dazzie, the Ginger One and Robbie, and come away disappointed at a 2-1 loss.

Dyce  0  FC Stoneywood  1  (08/08/09)

We are the cup holders, it was the first derby game with Stoneywood at Ian Mair Park for years, at was a glorious sunny day.....all the ingredients for a fine afternoon. Then the game started. Apart from a 10 minute flurry before half time when we should have got ourselves in front, then a similar period from the visitors after the break it was a pretty dour affair. All said and done though few people at the ground would be-grudge the away side their win as they did enough to merit the victory whereas we were *+@~  (edited for family reading of this). We started ok at Kirky put in a dangerous corner. How it went right across the goal- about a yard from the goal line and an inch off the ground is anyone's guess! Soon after Neisher was through but the ref blew for offside. He was behing play and the linesman right in line. You guessed it, no flag but offside given. Needless to say someone had to have a moan about it and earn a yellow- this time it was Luggies. Skinny (contradictory p*ss take of a nickname that one!) was then forced into the first save when he easily held Lamb's 20 yarder. At the other end Neisher played the ball through to Luggies and his lob looked like it was in but it drifted inches wide. Lyon hit one just wide from distance as well before Stoneywood hit back with Lamb finding space at the far post from a corner. Neil Mur did well to deflect his shot wide. Then came the flurry. The Neishster hit a 30 yard free kick off the post with Marwick beaten, and Edo handled as he went for the rebound. Minutes later a corner reached Edo at the far post and his shot smacked off the same post with Small clearing the rbound off the line. There was another goalmouth scramble before Marwick held Neisher's 25 yard effort.

After the break it was the visitors turn. A free kick was nodded down to BARANAISE who fired over from 12 yards- should have hit the target. 3 minutes later he did better though when a through ball found him in space and he lobbed the ball over Skinny with a fine finish. Two apologies to the visitor's scorer- I have probably got the spelling of his name wrong and we may have informed Mr McD from Northsound/P&J that the scorer was Jimmy Goodbrand!! Incidentally Goodbrand could have scored himself a few mins later when he was given acres of space in the box but headed wide. Neil Mur was next in the book, surprise surprise for chit chat. From the free kick Skinny made an excellent save from Delmaestro (quite a cosmopolitan sounding team Stoneywood!). From then on we huffed and puffed but didn't really threaten too much- Hardie hit one just wide but ex Dycer Marwick in goal was hardly overworked. Cookie picked up our 3rd booking of the afternoon for catching Marwick at a through ball. The ball was there to be one and Cookie was only a fraction away from getting there first. Foul yes, but booking a tad harsh. Very unusually for such a collision it was the opponent who got up with Cookie staying down for treatment! Goodbrand had his name taken in injury time for a trip on Cheyner, but the visitors saw out time for their win. BIG improvement needed for the trip to league champions Banks O'Dee on Tuesday.

Dyce  3  Ellon Utd  1  (05/08/09)

Our league campaign got off to a winning start, though unfortunately all talk after the game wasn't about what at times was a really good game- but about some indifferent officiating. On the football side we played really well in the first half, scoring 3 excellent goals and could easily have had a few more. Credit to Ellon who after being pummelled for a while came out in the second period and played some good stuff themselves and hauled themselves right back into it as the man in the middle became the centre of attention. It was a quiet enough start but we soon started to press and Dickie Bowman had to save well from the Neishster and Lyon fired wide. Luggies had a volley deflected over and the Ginger One's effort was well parried by Dickie Bow as we pressed forward. 17 mins in we got the opener that was on the cards. A quick throw found NEISHER who turned well and smashed in a great volley from a difficult angle- quality, a real beaut! It wasn't all one way traffic though and Bruce turned well at the other end and stand in keeper Cameron got down well to block the strikers shot. With 25 played came goal number two- and what a peach it was. Lyon was sent down the right and he raced down the wing (well, as fast as he can race!!) and cut the ball back to LUGGIES at the corner of the penalty area and he curled another beaut into the top corner of the net. 3 mins later it got even better when Luggies fine through ball found the Neishster, and although his goalbound effort was well parried the GINGER ONE was on hand to net the rebound. Nae quite a beaut of a finish this time, but the lead up was. Moments later it was almost four when a great move ended with Edo shooting just wide. Jordan then collected a yellow for a late tackle, the Clark of Ellon got one too for offering Mr Veitch his opinion on a decision. To be honest the initial decision was harsh on the Ellon man. From the free kick Neisher hit my motor.......no more of that behaviour please Neish. The lanky one then almost caught out Dickie Bow at his near post with a cross/shot but the keeper just managed to parry wide before the ball crept in. Kirky was next in the book for handball but a good half came to an end with Reid racing through but Cameron did really well to block his effort.

To have any chance of getting back into the game Ellon had to get an early goal, and they did just that. After Fletcher shot straight at Cameron, the goal came when a through ball saw a mix up at the edge of the box and Cammy BRUCE took full advantage to net from 18 yards. Reid then found space but shot straight at Cameron, before play raged up to the other end with Neisher's cut back being cleared. Ellon's pressure created a couple of excellent chances in as many minutes as a deflected cross found Reid who shot wide, then Edmond was also off target at the far post. The card confetti then started- Fletcher clattered Edo and prevented him getting up. As they tussled Edo managed to get free and after Fletcher was booked Edo was also handed a caution for being fouled- bizzare, and one that would be costly later. Lyon was next in the book, though not sure what that one was for as was blethering at the time. The plot was being totally lost as Lyon (and a certain club official) were invited to the ref's room after the game to clarify why he had booked David Smith when Dave wasn't on either team sheet! A minute later Edo was given a 2nd yellow and a red- again missed that one as I was still writing about Lyon's one......hard work trying to keep up when so many are being dished out. Next another whole two minutes elapsed until Neisher had his name taken too- apparently time wasting. In between the flurry Ellon's Reid smacked a shot off the top of the bar, then the flurry was completed. Jordan and McCraw both went in for the ball as it bounced up. Both feet were probably slightly high, but over came the man in the middle like Usain Bolt and the red card was out quicker than I can down a nip. How one foot merits a straight red and the other nothing is more puzzling than Soduko and I'm hopeless at them. That was in the 90th minute but there was still enough time for one of the linesmen to call over the whistler and as a result Neil Mur was our 7th yellow recipient of the evening for a trip. It was certainly a game of two halves regarding both the teams and the officials!!

Forres Thistle  1  Dyce  2  (01/08/09)

Our defence of the League Cup started with a victory at Logie Park. It certainly wasn't spectacular, and we didn't half make it difficult for ourselves but it's 3 points on the board. There was an unusual look to the defensive line with Tony being away and Dazzie deputising between the sticks. As well as Dazzie being missing from the centre of defence Stevie Mur is also missing so Neil Mur and recent signing Gogsy started there. The opening 10 minutes saw us force a couple of corners which came to nowt, and the Neishster put one wide after a free kick was flicked onto him. New signing Kirky looked to have a chance but a great tackle prevented him getting in a shot, then Lyon headed over from Neishers overhead cross. With 13 mins played Hardie was impeded as he tried to shoot but the ref waved aside the appeals for a spot kick. It was all one way traffic though and Forres got forward when they could with the benefit of the breeze and they forced a couple of corners which produced dangerous crosses but no-one on the end of them. Kirky had a another effort soon after but McCulloch parried his effort at the near post, before McInnes went on a break down the right at the other end but again a dangerous croos found no-one there to take advantage. The final chance of the half fell to Neisher but his shot was deflected wide for a corner.

The 2nd period kicked off with most of us still enjoying a refreshment inside and when we walked back out it was just in time to see ROBERTSON'S shot from distance sail over Dazzie and into the net. Neisher could have equalised straight away but volleyed wide before the Ginger One headed wide and Luggies headed over. Hardie found the side net then McCulloch gathered Kirky's shot at the second attempt. Lyon then flighted in a corner which was headed off the line, which prompted Bill and Auton to both state that it would be one of those days when we just wouldn't score......they even looked at the scribe as if he were an alien when he suggested that we would come back and win 2-1. The scribe's smug grin was huge minutes later when midway through the half Kirky's cross was deflected into the path of the GINGER ONE who fired home. We then pushed for a winner and Lyon and Cheyner got in each others way at the far post before loan signing from Huntly Gavin Walker blasted over from close in. Eventually with 7 mins remaining Neisher beat his man, beat him again for good measure and although McCulloch blocked his shot the rebound fell to WALKER who had a simple tap in. Neisher then almost hit the team bus with a volley and the final chance saw the Ginger One clean through but McCulloch saved well.

Dyce  3  Sunnybank  1   (01/06/09)

Turriff Utd  0  Dyce  1    (06/06/09)

Our season ended on a high note with two wins to keep us clear in 4th spot, and only miss out on 3rd place on goal difference. The scribe was offski on hols, but apparently against Sunnybank we were never really in too much danger against a side that could still have lifted the title had they won by just 10 clear goals! The Ginger One, Luggies (yes I said Luggies) and the Neishster had us 3 up before Somers pulled a late penalty back for the visitors.

Up at Turriff it was apparently a decent game and not the end of season stuff often on show in a so called meaningless game. It was Turriff's final game in the junior's before moving up to the Highland League, but it ended in defeat for them thanks to NEISHSTER'S goal with 20 mins to go.

Formartine Utd  1  Dyce  4  (29/05/09)

We bounced back from our woeful performance against Culter to retain the Regional Cup with what was a reasonably comfortbable win in the end against Highland League bound Formartine. The scoreline would suggest it was one way stuff, but to be honest until the 3rd goal went in it was anyone's game. The opening quarter hour saw neither keeper called into action, although Formartine put in a couple of good crosses that could have caused us some problems but they were cleared. At the other end Neil Mur's long throw almost created a chance but Utd managed to get the ball away. Young had shot on the turn for the first division side but Jaffa blocked well, before we took the lead after 19 minutes. A far post cross found the NEISHSTER, and the fluo footed one took the ball down well, beat his man and fired a low shot across Horne into the far corner. The next quarter hour was pretty much confined to the middle of the park but in the 36th minute Formartine grabbed an equaliser. A break down the right saw the ball crossed in and MAITLAND was there to head the ball home. Just before the break it could have got worse when Formartine were awarded a free kick 25 yards out and Shinnie fired in a fine effort which the old bloke got across to and made a great stop.

We were on the front foot athe start of the second half and the Ginger One laid the ball off to Jaffa, whose shot was well blocked by a defender. But just 3 mins in we got our noses in front again. A lofted ball over found Jordan in the box. His effort brought out a fine save from ex Dyce keeper Ricky, but the loose ball fell to the GINGER ONE who netted easily. 5 mins after that Maitland had a chance for Formartine but his shot on the turn was well hel d by the old bloke. On the hour the Neishster looked to be through but Ricky was off his line quickly to avert the danger. He picked up a knock in the process but was alright after a bit of treatment. Shortly after we had a bit of an escape. Neisher looked to have been fouled but play carried on and TB came out to block a through ball and the loose ball fell to Maitland 20 yards out. With the old bloke off his line the Formartine player's lob dropped just over the bar. We were then forced into a change with the injured Dazzie being replaced by Cookie, and shortly after Luggies came on for Bazza. Jaffa hit one from 25 yards which flew wide, before we grabbed a third with 20 mins remaining. Ricky didn't hold a corner and the ball was cleared to the edge of the box where the GINGER ONE was lurking. 9 times out of 10 his volley would have probably landed in the Bridge of Don but thankfully this one found the roof of the net. Soon followed a flurry of yellows, Fozzy and Daz of Formartine, along with Stevie Mur and the Ginger One. With 5 mins to go Formartine almost set up a grandstand finish when a good move down the right saw the ball played in to Young, but Neil Mur made a tremendous tackle to block his effort. With a couple of minutes to go the win was sealed. In preparation for the presentation the scribe was trying to get into the Heathryfold convenience (which was locked!!) and when he turned round the ball was in the net. Apparently a quickly taken free kick found the Neishster, who crossed for the GINGER ONE to head home and complete his treble. Unfortunately the Regional JFA supplied the match ball so he couldn't keep it! We could have grabbed a 5th in stoppage time when Jordan was through but his chip went wide of the far post. And that was it and we now have our name on the trophy for the second year running!

Dyce  0  Culter  3   (26/05/09)

A quite woeful first half saw our recent run of decent results come to an abrupt end on a fine evening at Ian Mair Park. Poor passing, lack of communication, poor decision making and some horrendous defending saw us 3 down at the break and it was game over. In just the 2nd minute though we were on the attack and the Ginger One was in a great position on the right but there was no-one in the middle for him. Six mins later we found ourselves a goal down. Farmer was wide and laid the ball back for the veteran Rattray who was given acres of space on the left to cross. His ball in found SHAND who was given a similar amount of space in the box and his header beat the old bloke who got a hand to the ball but couldn't keep it out. With quarter of an hour gone it got worse. Cookie got caught out with a cross over the top. The ball fell to Farmer, whose deflected shot was blocked by the old bloke but the rebound fell to SHAND who netted his second from close range. Our play didn't get any better whatsoever, but some credit should go to Culter who played some good stuff and Robertson should have made it three but fired wide from 10 yards with 7 mins of the half remaining. However 3 mins later the third goal arrived thanks to more comic cut stuff. A corner was flighted to the far post and Webby for some reason headed the ball back across goal........god knows why but YOUNGSON didn't hang about to ask and had the simple task of netting from 5 yards out.

Thankfully the second half saw an improvement. From the start we looked a bit more up for a game and started to get forward. Callum cut in from the left but shot straight at Farquhar, then Bazza had a free kick tipped over. From the corner Neisher's header was deflected wide for another corner. From this one the lanky fluo-footed one got in another header but the keeper saved well. He then had a free kick held before a Hendo pass found the inrushing Ginger One but Farquhar was out quickly and saved well. During this spell we probably should have pulled one back but didn't quite manage. Shand, who had generally been a pain in the arse to Cookie all night had a good chance in the final minute to grab his third of the night but the old bloke got his angles right and saved well. So the second period was certainly much better, but we cannot give teams like Culter a 3 goal start and hope to get a result!!!

Stonehaven  0  Dyce  1   (23/05/09)

We guaranteed a top 6 finish with a single goal victory at Gelnury Park, but really we ought to have won it by a few more. The opening spell saw us pass up some good chances, the first of which saw Neisher's shot blocked by Smith and as the Ginger One looked set to net the rebound Craig made a good tackle. Two mins later Neisher cut the ball back to Neil Mur just 8 yards out but he just about hit the river with his shot- maybe there was a SLIGHT bobble before he shot. 13 mins and Neisher had another go but Smith saved well, then also did well to block the Ginger One's effort from the rebound. There was then a 20 second hold up when the ball was cleared into one of the many bushes surrounding the park. Being the closest one to it the scribe dived straight into the biggest bush he has been in for a while- by god that thing could have done with a trim! With 20 mins played Stoney had their first effort at goal, although the ball didn't actually reach the goal. Robb's shot from 20 yards somehow went about 40 feet in the air but only about 10 yards forward. The old bloke advanced out and collected the ball to prove he was still awake. From then until have time the game looked very much like an end of season match.....maybe because it was. Then with a minute of stoppage time played Martin Johnston proved his watch works impeccably well, as he had forgotten his second one to check it against. Tut tut Martin.

The start of the second half was similar to the first. 8 mins in Jaffa was clean through and had a bit of a nosebleed and tried to go round Smith, who did well to block. Neisher collected the game's forst yellow for his 32nd foul of the game. On 62 mins the Ginger One saw his header well parried by Smith. From the corner another header was well saved and from the next one the Ginger One headed over. Eventually with 65 on the clock a goal arrived. A good move saw the ball played wide to Bazza, and he took one touch and crossed for the NEISHSTER to head home. Two minutes after that it was almost two with a bender of a header from the Ginger One which swerved into the side net. Almost as big a bender as he must have been on by the looks of it on friday night. A one goal lead is never safe and with 20 to go Stoney had a great chance when a long ball fell to Whyte in the box, but he pulled his shot wide from 10 yards. Steven Rae came on as a sub and almost scored but Smith blocked his effort from 6 yards, then soon after he turned 20 yards out and smacked in a fine shot which again Smith saved well. Stoney sub Bambi almost put through his own net but his clearance just cleared the bar late on. So it was a narrow win score wise, but on chances we could have had a barrow load. A real plus point were the performances on young Gogsy Forsyth at the back and Stevie Rae who came off the bench.

Dyce  2  Maud  1   (19/05/09)

We welcomed Maud to Ian Mair Park on Tuesday, with both committee's cursing the fact it was a midweek match......how the hell could we enjoy the usual socialising on a Tuesday with everyone driving!!!!! The visitors had just beaten Sunnybank away from home on Saturday so we knew it would be a tough one, but we started well. In the 2nd minute the Ginger One met an inswinging corner and headed home, but it was disallowed. Even Russki from Maud put on his report that none of them knew why. We continued to attack and Neisher hit a free kick into the wall before the Ginger Whinger collected a yellow, presumably for still whinging about the disallowed goal. 10 mins in and we took the lead that the pressure deserved. The old bloke's goal kick found Webby on the right, and his through ball found the GINGER ONE. He advance and slid the ball home for the opener. Neisher just missed an inswinging corner, before Davidson fired a free kick wide with Maud's first effort. Then out of nothing with about 20 played Maud won a free kick 20 yards out. The old bloke was expecting the ball to come over the wall, as were the lads in the wall as well. They jumped, but as they did Gavin MIDDLETON's shot was low and slightly sclaffed but it found its way into the bottom corner for the equaliser. The goal seemed to lift Maud and knocked us a bit, and for the remainder of the half the visitors had the better of things. They passed the ball better and got into some good wide positions, but despite their posession thankfully the old bloke wasn't overworked with shots at goal as the back four defended well. There were two more yellows before half time, Jaffa (as usual) which was quite blatant (as usual) and Rae of Maud. We did manage one more effort before the break when Bazza's volley dipped just over.

The opening spell of the 2nd period was much better, with the Neishster almost getting on the end of Jordan's cross, then Jaffa hitting one wide from 25 yards. Maud had a go from a free kick but the old bloke held on well then with 58 mins played we were back in front. The Ginger One was clean through but visiting keeper Puds was out well to block. The rebound fell to BAZZA who was at an angle but he steadied himself and blasted the ball in off the inside of the post. Ligertwood hit one wide as Maud tried to come back then Stevie Mur and Gibby Stephen were both given a ticking off by ref McNab for exchanging handbags on the by-line. Jordan then out muscled Robertson but his shot was easily held by Puds, then the keeper was off his line to block Neisher at the edge of the box. Callum Lyon was next in the book for a late one on Kevin Norris, and the Maud midfielder soon followed for some verbal. Maud tried to push players forward in search of an equaliser but got no change from the back four, with Dazzie and Stevie Mur winning everything at the back, and how we didn't score another was beyond me. Firstly Hendo's lob was headed off the line to Neil Mur who was wide of goal about 4 yards from the by-line. He hit a first time rip snorter which crashed back off the post. Neisher was then clean through but pulled his shot wide, then in injury time was in a great position again but shot over. A good through points to take us up to 4th.

Ellon Utd  1  Dyce  1   (16/05/09)

Both teams wanted to take the points in this one for different reasons- we were looking to get 3 points and put pressure on the teams above as we look for our highest ever placing, whilst a win for the home side would have guaranteed Super League football for them next season. In the end at a very wet and windy Meadows both had to settle for a share of the spoils. We opened on the attack and in the 2nd minute Neil Mur went down the right and his cross was cleared to Bazza at the edge of the box but his shot went well wide. Then with 4 mins on the clock the homesters went ahead. A good ball down the right found Keith Reid, and Bazza dived in when it may have proved wiser to stand up, and Reid put a fine cross right onto the head of Cameron BRUCE in the middle. He couldnae really miss and headed home from a couple of yards. The fluo footed one beat a couple of defenders but Dickie Bow in the home goal easily held his shot, then the old bloke had to hold a free kick from Henry at the other end. Jordan was next to have a go from distance, but again was off target, before Ellon went up the other end and a dangerous cross just evaded Bruce at the far post. Then 25 mins in came one of the worst bookings I have witnessed in some time. There seemed to be some confusion over a throw- the linesman gave it to Ellon whilst the ref gave it to us. Neil Mur took it, and whilst taking it a certain member of the Ellon coaching staff let the ref know what he thought of over-ruling the linesman. Straight away the ref rushed over and booked Neil........despite the fact that when the comment was made he was facing down the by-line with the ball behind his heid taking the shy!! It was an absolute nonsense and credit to the Ellon chappie for admitting it was him, but the card had already been brandished and Neil has two more points against his name......nae handy with the final looming! A minute later Reid got his head on a free kick 6 yards out and the old bloke showed a youngsters agility to make a fine save. On the half hour Neisher was next to collect a yellow, not sure for what- may have been some not too complimentary chit chat as the play was nowhere near him when play was stopped. Shortly before the break Neil Mur charged past a couple of players into the box and the two of them challenged him. One certainly seemed to get a touch on the ball, not sure about the other though. No pen given, by now it was clear that Neil wasn't going to get anything from the man in the middle. And that was it for the first half and thankfully we got inside for 10 mins to warm up and enjoy a decent pie (a relief after the horrid efforts at Hall Russell on Wednesday!!)

10 mins into the 2nd half Jordan looked to be through but Dickie Bow was off his line sharply, and outside his box showed some rare dribbling skills. Wonder if Ellon have considered a creative midfield role for him?? Soon after Ellon scorer Bruce had a half chance at the edge of the box but Webby made a great block. From then until the end of the game we took more control of things and had by far the better of it, albeit without troubling Dickie Bow too much as most attempts flew high, wide, sideways and anywhere but on target. With 73 mins played we pulled ourselves level when Jordan played in a cross from wide on the right and found JAFFA who headed strongly into the bottom corner from about 12 yards out. At this point we looked to push on and go for a winner, and Ellon's task wasn't made any easier thanks to a moment of madness 4 mins after the equaliser. Webby fouled Ellon sub Keith Robertson as they went for a high ball. As the Ellon player lay on the deck he petulantly kicked out at Bazza- who had nothing to do with the foul and was just strolling by at the time. The Ellon man had only been on the park for a few minutes but that was him off. From then on we pressed and won a number of corners and free kicks but despite the pressure didn't force Dickie Bow into too much serious action and the points ended up being shared.

Hall Russell Utd 0 Dyce 1   (13/05/09)

Our grip on the regional Cup remains intact after a narrow victory at first division Hall Russell. Whilst there isn't much doubt that we were the better team, we made damn heavy weather of things and needed a late penalty to see off the home side. The task of playing decent football wasn't helped by a terribly bumpy pitch, i could swear the off road 4x4 track at Lochter is flatter! The opening 20 minutes saw us have the lions share of posession but clearcut chances were few and far between. Neil Mur had a couple of efforts including a far post volley which hit the side net and a heider saved by the keeper. Time and time again we got ourselves into decent positions wide but the final pass or cross often went astray. We had a let off on the half hour when a cross in from the right found one of the Whitfield brothers (surely they must have starred in Land Of The Giants in a previous life), but he headed the ball onto his shoulder 10 yards out and it bobbled harmlessly wide. A good move down the right saw a decent final ball at last, but Jordan didn't catch his shot properly and Duguid saved comfortably. The final action of the half saw Hendo commit the mother of all schoolboy errors with a foul throw. So level it was at half time and off for a pie......or what looked like a pie from the outside- god only knows what the heck was in the middle!

We had a great chance 5 mins into the second half when Hendo sent the Neishster through but the ball took one of it's many outragous bobbles as he let fly and the ball flew high into the side net. Shortly after Halls showed they weren't out of it when Shaw went on a mazy and the ball broke to Dunn at the edge of the box but he sclaffed his effort wide. Jordan had a great chance on the hour from a good move down the left, but pulled his shot wide from 12 yards. With 20 to go about 4 players seemed to all go for the ball in the centre circle. Callum took a nasty elbow and his eyeball instantly looked like Rocky Balboa's. Somehow it was Jaffa that got booked, and when Stevie Mur offered his opinion on things to the Halls player in typical Stevie Mur fashion, near side linesman Dan Dare called over the ref and Stevie also saw yellow. As the game wore on the same pattern continued, and it looked certain we were heading for pens when firstly with 5 mins to go Cheyner chipped the ball off the post from a tight angle and from the rebound Hendo hit the bar. Then two minutes later one of their defenders shoved out an arm when the ball was bobbling around in the 6 yard box but no pen was given. Then with just two mins remaining a rash tackle in the box on Jaffa by Grant Mitchell (a tall lanky lad not the fat bald bloke from Eastenders!) saw a spot kick awarded this time. With the fluo footed one off by this point up stepped JORDAN to send the keeper the wrong way. In the aftermath the home side's Dunn picked up a yellow, again for verbal, again after Dan brought it to ref Beaton's attention. Not pretty but it was a semi final and its the result that counts.

Dyce 2  East End  1  (09/05/09)

After a damn fine morning, almost predictably it started pee-ing down just before kick off time. After the usual schwally with the sponsors at the 'Trees it was down to the ground for kick off. To be honest nae that much of note happened early on, with End's Stewart hitting the pavillion roof with a shot and the Neishster sclaffing one at Barney at the other end. Just before the half hour we had the best chance of the half when Hendo went on a bit of a mazy but his mullet must have got in the road when he shot and was well off target. At this point main sponsor man Syd forgot he had already scoofed a two course meal with gallons of Bulmers and went off to horse down a pie. Hendo then had another chance but Barney saved well this time. The Ginger one then fired one wide from 20 before Andy from Nor-Dan (co-sponsors with the Pittodrie Bar) announced at the top of his voice he was off for a sh*te. Too much info mate!!! Just as we approached halt time it was time to get the refreshments organised for the very thirsty sponsors and whilst doing so i missed the visitors taking the lead. Apparently we had plenty of chances to aver the danger but didn't, and a cross found WRIGHT at the far post and he headed across the old bloke into the net. Nae good!

We started the 2nd period by creating a great chance, with Jordan flicking the ball past the full back but pulling his shot wide. End went up the other end and McArthur cut in from the left but the old bloke got down to block his low effort. 8 mins into the 2nd half and it was all square. The NEISHSTER collected the ball in the box and the centre half tackled him from behind. The fluo-footed one stayed on his feet when he could easily have gone down (aye, really he did stay up) but when a 2nd tackle came in down he went and it was a pen. He stepped up himself and sent Barney the wrong way with Kraut like efficiency. 1-1. 20 mins left and End had a chance when McArthur found space in the box but headed straight at the old bloke. Two mins later and it was our turn to go close when Barney flapped at a free kick. Sorry, I said go close- Hendo's shot just about cleared the changing rooms. At this point behind the goal it sounded like it was a Nor-Dan staff meeting to discuss their office party shennanigans- I want a job with them!! End had another chance when Murray was given a free header in the box but it went wide. The shennanigan discussions continued. Then with 4 mins left we grabbed the winner. A free kick was flicked on to JORDAN and like Thursday he took a touch and finished well. That was the end of the entertainment (?!) on the park but it continued back at the 'Trees when Andy from Nor-Dan horribly missed his seat after celebrating a scouse fluke goal against West Ham and landed on his ass. After one goal in 270 minutes of action (?!) against East End this season it felt like a goal feast! But a welcome 3 points to take us above End in the league. Back at the 'Trees there were more pies on the go......and Syd was still hungry!

Lewis Utd  0  Dyce  2  (07/05/09)

After the encouraging performance against Banks O'Dee it was back to winning ways against the Celtic lookalikes of Lewis Utd in our away match against them which was played at Ian Mair Park. It was a pretty untidy win, especially as we had to play 55 minutes with 10 men but at this stage of the season its goals and points that count. The opening half saw both teams create a few chances but it wasn't exactly 'total football'. Jordan had a 20 yarder held before Wilson fired one narrowly over at the other end. A good move down the left saw Jordan have another chance but the keeper blocked well.....the flag was up anyhow so wouldn't have counted. Neisher cut the ball back to Lyon at the edge of the box, and his first effort was blocked by a defender and his second went well wide. Dazzie then flighted in a free kick and Neisher's header forced a fine save from Martin. But it certainly wasn't one way traffic and Gairns burst through our defence (who did their best statue impressions) and was one on one with the old bloke but TB did well to save his effort. With 10 mins of the half remaining we gave ourselves a problem. Paul put the ball out for a corner, which the ref appeared to signal. However the linesman said goal kick (nae sure why), and Chris Hardie said something a tad naughty to him. Not malicious or aggressive- more out of frustration but the ref didn't approve of the naughty language and issued a straight red and we were down to 10. Minutes later Forde found himself in a great position but shot straight at the old mannie.

The second half started with the Bhoy clones on the attack and TB saved well from Davidson's low shot. 11 mins in we took the lead, and a fair goal it was too. Neil Mur's long throw was headed out to the edge of the box where JORDAN was lurking around. I doubt the keeper even saw his volley as it flew past him at a few mph. Almost immediately the hoops (the green ones) had a great chance to level when ex hoop (blue one) Helson was clear on the right but the old bloke was out quicker than someone younger than him and blocked well. Just after the hour the hoops (green) coach Stuart Inverarity- think thats how you spell it- was sent from the dugout. Like Hardie earlier it was for a non too complimentary comment to the far side linesman. Green hoop (and another ex blue hoop) Scott Craig was next in the book but escaped with a yellow- also for some verbal. His team-mate Moir soon followed for a late tackle, makes a change from verbal. Neil Mur had a great chance to grab a second with 12 to go but his shot had about as much pace as David Weir and was easily held. Two mins later it was 10 v 10, when the visitors sub Allan was given a straight red.......surprise surprise fpr some chit chat. With 7 mins remaining we clinched the points when a good move saw the ball played to JORDAN in the box and he took one touch and thumped one past Martin with his left peg. Yes, thats right his left peg. That was LEFT!!!! We saw out the last few minutes comfortably, but still got a good laugh watching Cheyner getting megged in the middle of the park. Certainly not the prettiest 3 points we have won this season, as Lewis could easily have grabbed a goal or two but 3 points non the less. Nothing personal against the visitors at all, but I always enjoy seeing a team in green & white hoops defeated!

Dyce  0  Banks O'Dee  0   (04/05/09)

With the way our recent results have gone, and the fact that Dee's last two games had seen then hump Bunkry 5-0 and East End 7-2 both away from home, things didn't look too promising for this one. This was even more so when we only had 14 players available- some with knocks and others not feeling too well- and the visitors turned up with a squad big enough to field two teams by the looks of things! However our lads put in a great shift in a game that we could have lost, but could easily have and possibly should have won. The opening 20 or so were end to end with the Ginger One hitting the corner flag with a volley at one end and the old bloke getting down well to gather Ally'Reid's daisy cutter at the other. We had a great chance on 15 when the Ginger One outmuscled Philips but lifted his shot wide of the post as Pennet advanced from his line. McCrum blazed over at the other end, before Hardie almost put one in the training area as we hit back again. Just after the half hour Dee's Whyte cut in and from the edge of the box his low shot took a slight deflection and looked netbound until the old bloke defied his clearly advancing years and got down to make a tremendous save. Straight after that we had a chance when Hardie came in from the left but his shot found the side net. The visitors had the best part of the final 15 or so until half time, but their chances weren't of the clearcut variety and the old mannie dealt comfortably with any of the snapshots that came his way.

Dee opened well in the 2nd period and McCrum (who was about the size of a crumb but fast as hell!!) raced clear on the right but shot wide. He then laid the ball into the path of Foy but Neil Mur put in a great tackle to block his shot. We then enjoyed a good spell of pressure, with Lyon blasting one just wide from 25 with the keeper well rooted to the spot. On the hour we then missed the best chance of the night. Hardie skinned Turnbull on the right and squared the ball to the onrushing Hendo at the far post with almost an open goal. Surely a goal- 'yeesss........oh sh*t he's put it wide' is the cry from us all as somehow he side footed it past the post. Almost got through a report without mentioning the officials, until the linesman awarded Dee a throw in that never was on 62 mins. On 62 and a quarter they got a free kick that was just as wrong. Apart from that no other controversies so they did fine. Dee came back into it again and the crumb squared for Ally Reid but he sclaffed his shot straight at the old bloke. He then made another good block from a Whyte effort before we were on the attack again with Hardie curling one just past the far post. Brownhill fired just past the old blokes post, then at the other end Lyon's shot went just over as the game became really open. Dee had to go all out for a goal to keep their title hopes alive and put on sub Ritchie Taylor in an attempt to do so. He's maybe not quite in the same league as Kenny Dalgliesh, but he has an ass thats just as effective as he can fairly back into players and hold them off. As full time approached we got into a couple of great attacking positions but the final ball let us down. Overall though the lads did really well against one of the top sides and thoroughly deserved the point won.

Longside  3  Dyce  1  (02/05/09)

After continued I.T issues I have give up on the Longside report. Apparently the first 10 was fine, then the next 10 were gash as we gave away two soft goals. Early in the 2nd half saw Longside grab a third before Jaffa got a consolation with a heider that took about 4 minutes to loop into the net. At least the absence of the report will save you all reading Auton's drivvel.

Dyce  0  Turriff Utd  0  (27/04/09)

Game number 5 in the last 10 days saw a marked improvement with a much better performance in quite a decent game for a 0-0. With the various knocks picked up Dazzie and Neil Murray were unfit, Neisher could only keep the bench warm although Jordan started desite looking nowhere near fully fit. On the plus side Cookie was back from his sushi muching jolly across Japan and had a stormer at the back with nowt getting by him at all. The first thing that happened of note was when linesman Dan took offence to something Ally said in the dugout, and Al stodd like a naughty schoolkid and took the lecture. It was more like watching Jimmy Calderwood being told off as he had returned from overseas looking like a satsuma. Anyhow on to the footie and 10 mins in we had a great chance when a flowing move including one-two's, back heels and all ended with Toddser firing at Buchanan. That would have been the mutt's nuts of a goal had it gone in. Two mins later Massie hit a good old rip snorter of a free kick from 30 yards which the old bloke parried and the rebound was put wide. Stevie Mur shot into the training area before Jordan hit one wide, and the Ginger One looked to be through but had a Darren Mackie moment and his control gave Ralton the chance to clear. King then went on a mazy for Turra and his shot went over as both sides played some decent stuff but the half ended goal-less.

The visitors started the 2nd half on the front foot but didn't trouble the old mannie, and we were soon up the other end with Jaffa volleying straight at Buchanan from 20. 10 mins in King went past Cheyner and went down....several heart attacks and brown boxers on the go as fears were it would be spot kick number 8 in 10 days- thankfully not! We broke straight up the park and the Ginger One was through but Buchanan was out quick and smothered the ball at his feet. Linesman Dan had to get involved again soon after when the subs were getting in his road, there's nowhere else to warm up thanks to the daft rules, but a couple of them were just a bit too keen to get on and were practically on the park! Speaking of rules there was a demonstration of a new one, when Cookie put in a great tackle and the ball went into the path of King who was flagged offside.......despite Cookie playing the ball to him! Neisher came on with 20 to go and volleyed one wide, before former Dycer Zander tried his luck at the other end. His acrobatics when volleying could have got him a stint in the Moscow State Circus, but his effort went over. Then with 88 mins on the clock we should have won it. A through ball found Toddser and when clean through he seemed to be in two minds whether to shoot or go round Buchanan. In the end he did neither and sclaffed the ball with his shin and it rolled harmlessly wide and that was the end of the action.

Hillhead  2  Dyce  0  (25/04/09)

Our 4th game in 8 days saw us visit a vastly improved Hillhead outfit who have won a number of games recently to give themselves a chance of avoiding the drop. Our threadbare squad was down to the bare bones with players starting the game who were carrying knocks from the midweek games. Not a lot of note happened in the opening minutes until 8 mins in the referee decided to change that. It's getting a bit boring reporting on the number we have given away- some dubious and some stonewallers (Webby and Jaffa!!). Had it not been important this one would have been laughable. Everyone seemed to notice the handball at the egde of the box by Forbes in the build up, except Mr Coyle (the whistler). He let things go and Stephen then tugged away at Stevie Mur's shirt and both went to ground. Whistler blew his whistle- free kick.......or maybe not. He pointed to the spot. It was bad enough that he couldn't see what had happened, though it should be noted there was sod all assistance from the assistant. Even the Hillheid committee (good bunch of guys.....thanks for the beers!) admitted at half time they thought whistler had blown his whistle for a free kick. Anyhow up stepped PYPER and he took the kick well to put the Hillheiders ahead. We could have been level on 20 when a headed passback to Gray was short, but the keeper saved well from Cheyner with Jaffa trying to hit the River Don with the rebound. The Ginger One fired wide when he really should have hit the target, before at the other end Stephen round the old bloke but Jaffa got back to clear his shot off the line. Soon after the obviously unfit Neisher was taken out but the whistler decided not to blow his whistle and when the striker offered his opinion on his performance thus far out came the yellow for the first time. In the minutes before half time we had a wee flurry when really we should have scored. There was a half hearted handball claim in the box, but a corner was the outcome. From it the ball fell to Cheyner in the box and his shot was blocked. Then there was a mix up at the back and the Ginger One rounded Gray but his shot was cleared off the line for a corner, from which Gray made a great block from Jaffa's shot before he put the rebound into the side net.

The opening 5 of the second period saw Woody have a volley easily held by Gray, before there was a let off at the other end. Forbes beat the offside trap and was clean through but over ran the ball allowing the old mannie to advance and smother the ball. The next 20 mins or so saw things become a bit scrappy with us creating some half chances, though the 'Heiders did likewise and could have increased their lead. With quarter of an hour to go they did grab a second, and a fair goal it was too. A corner was headed to the edge of the box where sub LEBKOWSKI was lurking. Apologies to the lad if the spelling is incorrect.....not my strong point! Neil Mur picked up a booking soon after, exhibiting some great basketball skills stopping a through ball- no complaints to the whistler on that one. So, another defeat and already the number of games seem to be catching up with us....and there's plenty more to go!

Hermes  4  Dyce  1  (23/04/09)

There is no parental control over the internet, therefore this match report is subject to some severe editing to avoid offending. Things started badly and just got worse on a terribly fiery pitch at Lochside Park and in the end we got exactly what we deserved for as bad a performance as I have seen in some time. Again no penalties given away, but we gave ouselves a fair mountain to climb after just 13 minutes. By that time time we were two down thanks to two absolute gifts of goals. Firstly in the 4th the old bloke went out to collect a long throw, missed it, a header was headed off the line straight to the head of Jordan HEADS, who headed home over the head of Webby on the line. Oh christ its going to my head writing this!! 9 minutes later more head trouble. This time Dazzie's headed passback to TB was well short and collected by Djahansouzi (apologies if incorrect spelling!). His shot was blocked by Webby but McKAY scrambled home the rebound. The Neishster forced a couple of decent stops from Park, but the old man had to make a couple of really good saves as the home side looked to add to their tally. 5 mins before the break they did grab a third, when a break down the left saw the ball squared to SIM at the edge of the box and he turned well before firing into the bottom corner.

We came out for the 2nd half with just 10 men after Stevie Mur had to dash off after getting a call at the break to say that Angela had gone into labour- yet it took until the 4th minute of the second period to get a sub on! Shortly after both sides were harshly reduced to 10 men. Bazza and Sim clashed and it was a bit of handbags. Simmy got a straight red which looked soft, and the ref hadn't noticed Bazza's 'offence'. The linesman didn't notice either as he never flagged, and only after Simmy's red when a few Hermes players complained did he brandish a red to Baz. The official reports showed that Baz was sent off for kicking, which is utter crap as if he had kicked him Simmy would have landed on the dual carraigeway. There wasn't even anything remotely like a kick so god only knows where that came from. Simmy's was for stamping........nothing I saw looked like a stamp! The worst tackle of the match came when Dawson clattered through Hendo and got off scot free- even more gutting for the two dismissed guys! On the hour came Hermes' 4th and again it was a gift. This time Luggies lost posession on the right and Robertson crossed for Mckay. The old bloke saved well but SINCLAIR knocked home the rebound. There was a consolation with 20 left when Dazzie's free kick was saved by Park but HENDO was on hand to net. Just before the end we saw a stunning bit of dribbling by Toby. Unfortunately Toby isn't a new signing- it was Neisher's mutt who pished on his back whilst he was lying on the ground after being subbed. Overall a pretty grim evening to say the least.

Dyce  3  Lewis Utd  0  (21/04/09)

It was back to winning ways after the farce of the last 8 days, but with more penalty drama as there were another two spot kicks- this time they went in our favour. The opening 20 mins saw very little in the way of goalmouth action, with Hendo shooting wide at one end and Gairns having his shot easily held by the old man at the other. Then on 20 came penalty number one, the 7th in our last 3 and a bit games and the first to go our way. The Neishster turned his man 12 yards out and was taken down- he stepped up himself but Martin did well to get down to his left and save the kick......our penalty woes in recent days haunting us at both ends of the pitch! From the resultant corner Bazza's shot was deflected and Martin blocked. The deadlock was broken 11 mins from half time and it was a fine goal too. The old man started a move at the back which involved Stevie Mur, Webby and Chris Hardie, with Hardie's cut back finding Neil MURRAY 20 yards out and his low shot fairly screamed into the bottom corner. Bazza shot over shortly after but just before the break there was a let off when Lewis won a corner and from it Scott Craig was given acres of space but his header went out for a throw.

The opening spell of the 2nd period saw sod all chances. General play was confined to the middle third with neither keeper having too much to deal with. Midway through we very nearly made it two when Rae flicked the ball on to the Ginger One and his right foot effort came back off the post. A couple of minutes later we did grab a second when the NEISHSTER was brought down again in the box, this time by Smith. Not put off by the earlier miss (the Berbatov one) he stepped up again and sent Martin the wrong way. 3 mins later it was game over when DAZZIE fired home a 25 yard free kick. It wasn't exactly a thunderbolt as it squirmed through the defensive wall but it found the bottom corner. Not the most exciting of games it has to be said, but nice to get the 3 points, keep a clean sheet and not give away any more penalties!!

Dyce  1  Banchory St Ternan  2   (18/04/09)

Our penalty woes continued as we conceded our 5th and 6th penalties in just 3 games against Saints. That, when added to the fact we scored a 2nd own goal in the same period means that it was 3 points gifted away. We opened ok, and without being brilliant shaded the first half. Luggies played a one-two at the edge of the box in the 6th minute and was tripped as he ran onto the return pass. For some reason no foul was given, and the linesman thought something was funny as he grinned like a cheshire cat when questioned about it! 12 mins in we grabbed the lead with a well taken goal. The ball was worked to Chris HARDIE at the edge of the box, and he controlled the ball, swivelled and fired a great shot into the bottom corner. 5 mins later it could have been two when Neil Murray's cross found Hendo at the far post but his header had as much pace as Buster Bloodvessel doing a 100m sprint. Saints weren't out of things and a dangerous free kick was floated to Horne but he headed wide. The visitor's Campbell was first in the book for a late one on Hardie, and Neil Murray follwed soon after for his 14th foul of the game. The Ginger One went down the right and crossed for Luggies but his first time shot went wide as we looked for a second. Bunkry had the final effort of the have when Horne's 20 yarder was blocked and the follow up went high and wide.

The second half saw very little as far as goalmouth action goes. Whereas in the first half both sides kept the ball quite well and played some decent stuff we didn't get going in the 2nd period. Bunkry's passing was certainly better and whilst they played some nice football at no point did it really look like they were going to score. That was until the 70th minute when things went a bit mental. Firstly a cross was played in, and for some reason Jaffa stuck out a hand. Penalty kick. No arguments. Up stepped Horne and the old bloke made yet another great penalty save. The rebound fell to Horne and he was about to shoot Jaffa tackled him. Whistle went and about 2 and a half seconds after the penalty was taken we had conceded another!! The ref couldn't get his red card out quick enough and off Jaf went. It was a wee bit harsh as Jaffa actually got a touch on the ball as it moved sideways away from goal and as Horne was attempting to shoot he kicked Jaf's foot (that was the noise most folk heard). That said, his touch on the ball wasn't easy to spot and we could see how the ref thought it was a foul- no consolation to us though and this time Horne passed the spot kick duty to COURAGE and he netted. 6 mins later our suicide continued when Shand's low cross was diverted into the top corner by WEBBY for an own goal. We battled on and Bazza fired one straight at Sim and Hendo curled one over, but it was not to be. Disappointing stuff. Take nowt away from Saints as they played some good footie, but really didn't look like hurting us until the mad spell when we again contributed to our downfall......which has become a hibit in the last 8 days!

Sunnybank  3  Dyce  0  (13/04/09)

After a glorious sunny day, the players came out in chilly conditions as fog descended big time at Heathryfold. Sunnybank were soon on the attack with Fyfe having a shot easily held by the old bloke, before Steel's 20 yarder clipped the top of the bar on its way over. We soon began to play our way back into things and the Neishster swung across a great ball but there were no takers. Minutes later he came even closer when from the touchline he smacked a great shot off the face of the bar. Well that was his verdict, more like a cross that went goalwards instead of to it's intended target! Both sides were passing the ball around well at times and Greig went close at one end before Jordan fired wide at the other when a free kick was headed out to him. Greig had another go when Bank attacked that again didn't trouble the old man, then Sweeney saved from the Ginger One with the slightest of fumbles. Just when it looked like it would be all square at the break we gave away the softest of goals. Jaffa picked the ball up wide in our half. God only knows if he was passing to Webby, passing back to the old one or trying to control the ball. In the end he did none of those and gifted posession the Greig, who squared for Jin FETTES to net with a first time finish. The Ginger One burst through from halfway just after but his 20 yard effort just missed my motor in the car park.

The second half then started, but unfortunately we didn't. Things became a bit stop start with several fouls, with most free kicks going the home sides way as they seemed to appeal louder than we did!. 5 mins in came the first booking, and no surprise it went Webby's way....although there wasn't too much he could do to get out of Greig's way. After that it was like watching Casino Royale as cards flew around everywhere- Neil Murray and Luggies collecting one each along with Somers of the home side. Luggies one was this weeks contender for the seasons softest. Bank were having the better of things and were keeping the ball far better than we did as we struggled to create anything. With quarter of an hour left came some controversy when Steel burst through. Hendo tugged at his shirt- no debate there. Someone on the far side said the foul was outside the box but too foggy to see from where I was! Whether in or out a penalty was awarded and Hendo was booked. At that point the linesman wanted to get involved and called the ref over and the ref then decided to send Hendo off. Mystery why it needed the linesman to make that decision when he was 40 yards from the incident and the ref was about 7! After the dust had settled SOMERS stepped up and beat the old man to pretty much clinch the points. With 6 mins left it really was game over with yet another penalty. Luggies was on the end of a tackle with studs in his nuts in the centre circle but amazingly play was waved on. Bank played the ball into the box and Fettes was held by Murray and it was spot kick number 2. Again SOMERS netted, game over. The first half was a good game with not much in it until the 40th minute, but an absolute gift of a goal and the conceding the 3rd and 4th pens in just two games was suicidal. That said, Bank's second half performance merited the 3 points and gave them their first win over us in about 7 games.....it had to happen sometime!!

Maud  2  Dyce  1   (11/04/09)

A last minute spot kick ended our interest in the McLeman Cup at Maud in a really good cup tie. Both sides had chances and spells on top and it could have gone either way, although giving away an og and 2 penalties was asking for trouble! We opened on the front foot with Neil Murray putting in a great cross which found no-one on the end of it in the 2nd minute. Maud had the best of the next 10 mins and forced a few corners which were all looking dangerous as they were whipped in. Just as it looked like we had weathered the storm we found ourselves a goal down after 13. Jamieson swung in a cross from the left and as DAZZIE tried to clear he deflected the ball past the old bloke for the opener. Just 3 minutes later Bazza looked to be clean through but the ball wouldn't drop for him to get a shot away and the danger was cleared. McDonald picked up the first yellow of the game after Neisher had skinned him, the midfielder taking him out from behind. 21 mins in and we were level with a quite brilliant goal. Jordan played a crossfield pass to the NEISHSTER, and from 25 yards without breaking stride he lashed a volley into the top corner giving the keepr no chance (Neish I'll have a pint off you for that description!!). 9 mins later he tried another one from distance....it just about cleared the pavillion. Back came Maud and the old man had to look lively to save from Ligertwood as he looked set to score, then Willox of Maud picked up one of the softest bookings of the season just before the break.

The end to end stuff continued in the 2nd period with Neisher heading over before Maud came back. This time Usher crossed and the ball took a wicked bounce and hit Dazzie's arm. Certainly no intent but probably because there was no-one challenging him and the ball had travelled a reasonable distance the ref gave Maud's first penalty of the match. Up stepped McDonald but the old bloke guessed right and made a great save to touch the ball onto the post. As the ball broke back accross goal McDonald was on to the rebound The old one's save from the second attempt was even better than the first and Murray then cleared. Midway through the half we ought to have been in front- Neisher was clean through but dragged his shot wide. There may have been uproar if he had scored as Neil Murray took out Iain Arthur in the build up play was bizzarely waved on. A similar thing happened moments later when Arthur took out Neisher so that evened up that one! Neil Murray collected a yellow that was about as soft as Willox' one earlier. Both sides continued to have their chances and just as it looked like we were heading to penalties we virtually handed Maud victory. Usher went into the box but we had plenty cover and he was well wide of goal. Webby needlessly left his leg in, not the most obvious stonewaller ever but a daft tackle that was only ever going to bring one outcome- spot kick number two. This time McDONALD put the ball into the bottom corner to give Maud the win.

Dyce  0  Longside  0  [5-4 on pens]  (04/04/09)

Our quest to retain the Regional Cup remains on track after a spot kick victory following a tight game with few clearcut chances. The best one came as early as the 8th minute when a great move down the left saw Neisher find the Ginger One in the box. He put the ball into the path of the onrushing Bazza and his first time shot beat the keeper but smacked off the top of the bar. The Ginger one had a chance soon after when the ball was headed through to him and unfortunately it sat up which allowed Wisely to get back and make a great tackle. Play moved to the other end and Cameron headed a free kick straight at the old bloke, before the ball went out of play and Doreen played one of the best passes of the day to get the ball back to the old mannie. And that was pretty much it for the first half! The second period didn't bring a whole lot more action. Neil Murray had to block a Cameron shot, the Neisher headed a corner over at the opposit end. The Neishster then outmuscled Wisely and was clean through but Thomson was off his line quickly and saved well as the beanpole tried to round him. Jaffa tried his luck from distance and Bill T showed agility that made a mockery of his age by managing to duck out of the way (well behind the goal in case anyone reading this thinks he was playing!). Bazza then went on a mazy and only a good tackle prevented him getting in a shot. Midway through the half came the first yellow. Hardie and Beddie both went for a 50/50 and for some reason Chris was penalised. At this point the linesman got involved and Neisher was the recipient of the card.....presumably for something said. The visitors then had a decent spell and the old bloke had to look sharp to block a Cameron effort and Reid looked set to net the rebound but Dazzie did brilliantly to block his effort with his arse. Longside's Reid was next in the book, this one for studs up tackle on Jaffa.....makes a change him taking a tackle like that rather than dishing it out! Further chances were few and far between and on to penalties we went. The Ginger One, Jordan and Dazzie for us and Geddes, Davidson and Cameron for Longside all netted like Germans in the world cup. The old mannie then saved well from Wheeler, with the Neishster putting us 4-3 up. Longside keeper Thomson scored with their final kick, leaving Bazza with the chance to win the tie. He sent Thomson the wrong way and burst the net in the process. Not exactly a piledriver so we'll put it down to a shoddy bit of work by the net man (you know who you are!!).

Dyce  2  Stonehaven  1  (28/03/09)

A much improved second half performance brought us 3 points after trailing to relegation threatened Stonehaven. Hive started on the front foot and Webby had to clear a dangerous free kick before we went up the other end and ought to have taken the lead. Neishers cut back found the Ginger One and his shot came back off the post and Cheyner fired the rebound over from close in. The visitors were claiming for a spot kick in nthe 8th minute when Mike Adam went down in the box but nowt was given. Adam went close when he beat the old bloke to a cross but his effort flew past the post. Dazzie shot well over, almost hitting the training area before the Ginger One hit the post for a second time. This time it was with his copper top , but same result as before. The lanky Keith headed over from a corner at the other end as play swung from end to end, albeit the quality wasn't the greatest as the wind was making it difficult for both sides. With 9 mins of the half left Hive took the lead. Recent signing Whyte broke down the right and his cut back found Petrie. His low shot forced a great block from the old mannie, but the ball broke to David GLASS and his first time effort from the edge of the box found the bottom corner. Almost immediately after we were almost level when the ball broke to Bazza about 15 yards out. He caught the ball sweet and it looked destined for the top corner all the way but Smith had other ideas and made a tremendous save.

We opened the 2nd period much better with Luggies having a shot deflected over the Bazza headed onto the bar but the whistle had already gone for an infringement. Just before the hour it was all square when Strachan tripped Bazza as he ran on to a cross. the fluo-footed NEISHSTER stepped up and netted from the spot. Game on now. Were were pressing for a winner and in the 74th minute a great passing move down the right (it even included Webby.......yes Webby in a passing move!!!), saw the ball crossed in and Bazza was just wide with a header. Just a minute later though the pressure told when a ball was knocked over the Hive back line and there was the GINGER ONE and his right pegger flew accross Smith into the far corner. The visitors cause wasn't helped any further when Strachan picked up a second yellow.....a daft one for verbal and off he went. In the final minute it could have been three but Smith advanced to block well from Bazza and the rebound was cleared. In the end it was a merited 3 points, although the game was never safe with just the one goal lead but we saw out time well to move up to 6th in the league.

Dyce  2  Glentanar  0  (21/03/09)

Our defence of the Regional Cup saw us defeat first division Glentanar on a cold afternoon at Ian Mair Park. It was a damn chilly afternoon, and although we didn't look in any real danger at any point throughout the game we certainly made heavy weather of winning the tie. The first half saw Neisher fire over twice, personally i blame those ghastly lime things on his feet which are the colour of the fluorescent socks kids wore in the 80's!! Cookie forced a good save from Lawson when he latched on to a short pass back, and Stevie Mur hit the training area with a high, wide and very un-handsome shot. Leslie had a half chance at the other end but his shot lacked pace and Askew fired a 20 yard free kick over the bar. Baz had a shot held by Lawson, the flighted a free kick to the far post which found Dazzie but Lawson blocked his header well with his legs. And, well that was really it for the opening 45!

The Fluo-footed one cut in from the left in 47 mins but his shot curled dangerously towards the pie shop, then he hit one wide from 20 yards following a neat lay off. 8 mins in Dazzie's free kick saw Lawson go walkabout to the penalty spot. When he got nowhere the ball Neisher was there again, and giving up with the fluo-limes tried this time with his head. Same wide of the goal outcome. Glens were not out of it though and Bryson had a great chance when he burst through on the left but the old bloke got the zimmer going quick and was out in a flash to make a fine block. At this point the comment came from the sidelines that it was about time the GINGER ONE came on for Cookie up front. No sooner said than done, and minutes later we were ahead. A good move down the right saw Cheyner cross to the far post and Neisher's heid found better direction this time when he headed accross goal for the sub to net from about a foot an a half. With 73 on the clock we should have grabbed a second, when Bazza'a corner found one of the increasing number of billiard ball heid's in the side. This time it was Dazzie and his header bounced wide. Even a crew cut of hair would have created enough of a diversion to direct the ball in but it just skimmed off the shiny bonce. However just a minute later came goal no.2, and it was from another of the balding brigade. This time Neil MURRAY picked up the ball 35 yards out and advanced before smacking a 25 yarder which sailed over Lawson into the top corner. Glens battled away until the final whistle and only a great tackle from Dazzie on Leslie prevented him getting in a shot. And that was the final action. Just when we thought we would get through 90 mins with no bookings substitute Todd kicked the ball away and collected a yellow with a couple of minutes to go so at least one contribution was made to the fine kitty.

Culter  1  Dyce  4   (14/03/09)

Two seasons ago in our debut season in the top flight we went out to then champions Culter and thumped them 5-1 on their own ground. General opinion was that it was a freak game and it wouldn't happen again......well it very nearly did! The game opened with a stong wind blowing accross the park, with the occasional downpitch gust causing some havoc. If only we knew about the Neishter's new choice of footwear- we could have asked for a night game as he would have kept the place well lit! Youngson shot over for Culter before Neishers cross/shot was held by Farqhar at the second attempt. The keeper was in action shortly after when Neisher played in Cookie but the keeper saved well. With 21 mins on the clock the opener came, and what a goal it was. Neisher was brought down 25 yards out- free kick. BAZZA stood over it and the shout from the side (all in a single breath) was ''get Bazza out of there, dont let Baz hit it, YEESSS!!!''. His right footer screamed into the top corner past Farquhar. Luggies had a shot held soon after, as did Craik at the other end. A great move down the right almost brought a 2nd goal but Jaffa put the ball wide at the far post before we had a let off at the other end. Youngson fired in a free kick from 25 yards which hit the outside of the post. Another move doen the right saw another fine quote from the sidelines- ''thats a terrible ball, oh the winds keeping it, the winds going to keep it in oh what great football''. Yer full of wind Jaf!! Youngson tried another free kick which this time flew over, and the last action of the first half saw Stevie Mur collect his weekly yellow for verbal.

Just 8 mins into the second half Culter were level. The were awarded a softish free kick 25 yards out. Craigie had a go and it was deflected right to the feet of STOTT who had a simple task of netting from 8 yards. The parity lasted only 7 mins before we were ahead again. God knows why Farquhar decided to punch the ball when out of his box wide on the right, but he did and he was booked. Neisher swung over a tremendous ball from the resultant free kick to HENDO who headed home at the far post. Pressley of Culter took a leaf out of Stevie Mur's book and talked his way into the ref's one, before we went further ahead with 75 played. NEISHER held off a couple of challenges before firing into the bottom corner for the third from 20 yards. We were comfortable at this stage and the icing on the cake came with a 4th goal on 82. NEISHER looked set to score from 10 yards until he was brought down by Cooper, who was red carded for his tackle. The beanpole got up, dusted himself down and easily netted from the spot. We are now unbeaten at Crombie Park in our 3 years in the super league- we're beginning to enjoy going out there!

Maud  1  Dyce  3   (07/03/09)

A hard fought 3 points were collected at a very difficult venue to get a result. Maud are nae a bad outfit and to grab the spoils on their patch is not an easy task. The opening stages were evenly contested with Maud having an early penalty claim turned down, before at the other end Bazza's header went so far wide it went out for a throw. After another 10 mins or so of cagey stuff we grabbed the lead in the 17th minute. Some good passing ended with a through ball finding NEISHER who took one touch and buried tha ball past the keeper. At this point it became noticable how quiet things were, mainly due to home manager Kris Hunter being on the lash on a stagger and our own skipper Stevie Mur being absent. Mur remained quiet but poor Hagler from Maud was at this stage dealing with the update requests from the Bristol stagger every 5 mins! Shortly after the goal Maud had a good chance with a free kick 20 yards out, but it was blocked by the wall and we broke up with the pace of Usain Bolt, well not really but quick by our standards and only a good interception forced the ball out for a corner. Just after the half hour it was all square when some comic cut stuff at the back ended with Usher skinning Cookie in the box. Cookie tackled. One outcome. Spot kick. After Tuesdays heroics the old bloke went the right way but the strike from MCDONALD found the bottom corner, 1-1. Neil Murray had to go off injured soon after and it this point I have noticed in my scribbled 'report' that in 12 mins Whyte shot just wide from the dge of the box as the old one advanced to narrow the angle.

We opened the second period well enough and 4 mins in Jordan went down the left (we didn't believe it but he obviously does have a left peg) and cut the ball back to the ginger one but he dilly-dallied (that was an Auton phrase and on the site by special request) and the danger was cleared. A couple of minutes later we were in front again when a corner from the right from Jordan found the GINGER ONE a couple of yards out and he headed home. Maud came back and a good move ended with a dangerous move seeing Jaffa clearing a low cross for a corner. Ligertwood had a go from 18 which TB held well as Maud tried to get back into it. At the other end Neisher turned and fired one in but the home keeper dealt with it pretty easily. Back came Maud and some trickery from Willox found some space but he blazed over from a tight angle, then Hendo had to clear for a corner soon after. At the other end a corner was forced and Bazza's attempt (a shot not a cross!) hit the top of the bar and went over. With 7 mins left we secured the points when another neat move saw Neisher fire in a dangerous cross with BAZZA headed home. The final few minutes were played out safely to secure an excellent 3 points. Both teams should take some credit for serving up a decent game in such heavy conditions- certainly a better 90 mins than Tuesday night........although that wasn't difficult to beat!

Dyce  0  East End  0    (4-2 on pens)   (03/03/09)

The Grill Cup is now in the trophy cabinet after a nervy spot kick win over East End. In truth it was a poor final with neither side really producing much in the way of good football, and clear chances at a premium. We opened with Dazzie having a free kick held by Barney and Neisher turning and volleying over. Apart from that East End had more of the posession although the old bloke wasn't called into action too much. We got a break when Yeats went down out wide and a free kick was given. I was nowhere near the incident but was informed by a reliable source (well he said he was!) that it looked like the tackle was inside the box.....abit of good fortune. Break number two came with 8 mins of the half left, when McArthur beat the offside trap and had a clear sight of the old bloke. Maybe the old man looked him in the eye.....enough to put anyone off and it worked as the End player fired wide.

The second period saw us improve a bit, but again both sides struggled to put passes together and things were scrappy. It was very stop start as free kick after free kick was awarded. One of them saw Baz foul Yeats and collect a yellow, with Yeats also having his name taken- although it could have been worse after he swung a foot at Baz. With quarter of an hour to go Neisher's cross found the Ginger One and his header looked netbound until Barney got down and made a tremendous save low at the post. The keeper thwarted Ginger again shortly after as for the first time we looked a bit dangerous. It didn't last long though as both teams cancelled themselves out, although Willox had a good chance in the 89th minute from a Smith cross but blazed over. So on to pens it was. We were hoping for some German efficiency taking them, whilst Mr Chairman was confident the old bloke would save two. End were taking first and netted with their first two (Booth and Kirkwood), with the Ginger One and Jordan replying. 2-2. Ryan Smith then stepped up for End and the old mannie saved well. Dazzie netted (he was always liable to either score or land the ball in the River Dee) and it was 3-2. Ally MacLeod (didn't know he was still alive!) was up next and the old bloke made his second save. This left Neisher with the opportunity to win the cup and he duly sent Barney the wrong way. Just about as clinical as the krauts at Wembley in 1996!! Overall a very disappointing final, but at the end of the day the cup will just be engraved with the name Dyce Juniors, it wont have 'crap final' in brackets afterwards and thats what counts.

Dyce  2  Ellon Utd  0  (28/02/09)

After the shambles a week before it was back to winning ways in a rare league match. Early exchanges were cagey with a long throw by new signing Neil Murray going accross goal, with the old bloke holding a near post flick by Edmond at the other end. 7 mins in we grabbed the lead. Murray burst down the right and his low cross was bundled into his own net by centre half CHALMERS. Bazza was in close proximity and had the bare faced cheek to try and claim he got a touch. Absolutely no chance Baz, and as you never bought me a pint at the dinner you have no hope of being credited with this one. Neisher played in the Ginger One soon after but his shot had the pace of a snail and Bowman held easily. Jaffa was first in the book with his weekly yellow being given for a late tackle on the halfway line. The Ginger One was through again but Bowman was off his line well and bloked the shot at the edge of his box. A minute later another chance came and went when Murray's looping header cake back off the inside of the post with Bowman beaten. We were in control at this stage but the game took a twist on the half hour when Jaffa put in another daft tackle in front of the dugouts, and the weekly yellow became what is becoming the two monthly red. The remainder of the half saw Ellon have more posession, and although a couple of dangerous crosses came in, the old bloke wasn't troubled.

Ellon opened the second period on the attack, with Barclay having a 25 yarder deflected over then Clark hitting one sweetly from distance but again it was too high. We soon started playing again though with Luggy's heading a corner over and Neisher had a shot but unfortunately it carried as much power as the Ginger One's earlier. Fraser of Ellon clattered into Luggies in the centre circle and came off second best, having to be carried off the pitch. Luggies resumed after treatment but had to off soon after. Barclay looked certain to equalise 20 mins in but Webby got accross and put in a tremendous saving tackle. Just as well he timed it spot on as it would have been a penalty otherwise. Neisher was next to have a go but Bowman saved easily, before the kepper made a great save to deny the beanpole minutes later. Eventually with quarter of an hour left we secured all 3 points when NEISHER timed his run perfectly to beat the offside trap and ran through before slotting home. We saw out time comfortably after that to collect a welcome 3 points as we attempt to get some games caught up and hopefully work our way up the table.

Dyce  1  Kirriemuir Thistle  2  (21/02/09)

All we can say about this one is that we started off badly and faded to worse. The Kirrie kitman can take a lot of credit too......the visitors turned up with only their blue kit meaning we had to change. It worked a treat for them as we proceeded to do nothing but pass to blue shirts! The opening period was tame to say the least, with a Greg davidson header going wide. Farqharson curled one wide at the other end before we went back up the park and Jordan's deflected shot was easily held by Anderson. Then in the 15th minute we went behind thanks to a comedy of errors. The Kirrie full back was given far to much time on the left to fire in a low cross. It didn't look that dangerous, but Cookie took a swing and sliced it, Dazzie tried to intercept and wrong footed the old bloke. The ball looked like it was going to spin into the net anyway but FARQHARSON made sure from close in. We came a bit more into things with Jaffa having a header well saved and Jordan just failing to control Dazzie's through ball when clean through. Scott hit a 25 yarder over at the other end before we got back on level terms on the half hour. Jordan flighted over a free kick from wide on the right to the far post and in came JAFFA to head accross the keeper into the bottom corner. Shortly after Coley was clean through but Anderson was off his line well to smother as the striker tried to go round him. Cheyner then put a great cross over which was begging to be knocked home, but there was no-one there! To make matters worse we were behind again seconds later in the 43rd minute. A free kick was played in to the far post where Stevie Mur looked set to head clear. He didn't and the ball was headed accross and FARQHARSON was there to net his second from even closer than his first.

Farqharson almost grabbed his third after the restart but the old mannie saved well, and he also headed against the bar with Dazzie blocking the rebound. There were faint penalty claims when Coley was held in the box but it would have been soft. Then in the space of two minutes we saw exactly why people get frustrated at officials. Hendo was stopped by a two armed tackle that Jason White would have been proud of at Murrayfield- free kick given but no yellow. I said to another onlooker that we'll get someone booked soon after. Sure enough seconds later Hendo had his name taken for a tackle from behind. Cant argue with his booking but how one is deemed a yellow offence and the other not beats me. Anyhow for the remaining 15 or so there weren't many chances created, Coley firing wide from 8 yards being as close as we came. Overall we just didn't do enough to merit a result, and fair play to Kirrie who played well enough- but we didn't have contribute to our own downfall.

Montrose Roselea 2 Dyce 0  (31/01/09)

It was eleven months ago this weekend since we lost a cup tie, but unfortunately that run came to a disappointing end in the Scottish replay at Broomfield against a strong and experienced Roselea outfit. The 20 cup games in between was a fantastic run but it had to end sometime! The homesters opened with plenty eraly posession without really troubling the old bloke, with Webby's header not troubling McLeod at the other end. The first effort on target came in the 8th minute when Kerrigan received the ball from a throw and laid it off to Kennedy but old mannie held his effort comfortably. Six minutes later we should have taken the lead when Coley's flick on sent the Ginger One through but he fired straight at McLeod. Two minutes later we were punished heavily for the miss when Roselea went in front, although some sloppy defending didn't help our cause. McKellar was given too much space on the right, Cookie dived in and was skinned and the low cross found WATSON who turned and slotted home. It could have been two 5 mins later when another McKellar cross this time found Kerrigan 6 yards out but he blazed over. Webby was the first to have his name taken for a lateone, and he wouldn't be the last as it looked like ref Pirie might have been on a cut of commission from the fine proceeds! Our already difficult task was made a whole lot harder on 25 when the home side doubled their lead. A throw found KERRIGAN at the edge of the box and he turn well and fired a great effort into the bottom corner. Roselea continued to have the better of things until the break but thankfully there was no further scoring.

We opened the second period in a more positive fashion but didn't trouble McLeod too much. In one attack came one of several baffling decisions when the Ginger One was taken down at the edge of the box. 'Advantage' was played despite Neisher only having a 50-50 chance of getting the ball whilst going sideways. About 15 seconds later when the ball was beside the dugout play was stopped for Ginger to get treatment for the injury sustained in the tackle. Stevie Mur gave Pirie his usual subtle version of events and picked up his weekly yellow for his troubles. The home side's Craig also had his name taken as did Cookie, Cheyner and Hendo although there really wasn't a bad tackle. Montrose were still having the better chances with the old mannie saving well twice and McKellar hitting the face of the bar from an angle. Neisher hit one just wide at the other end and with 9 minutes to go we could and should have had a great chance to pull one back. As Jordan was preparing to swing the ball in Jaffa was taken out off the ball in the box. Had we been given a spot kick and scored it might have made the home side a bit nervy but we didn't get the chance. It was a clear one that even incensed Roselea manager Ralph Brand who fairly had a go at the full back for taking such a risk with the tackle! In the final minute we almost grabbed a consolation when Jordan's free kick looked destined for the top corner but McLeod got accross well to tip the ball wide. The final action saw Milner boost the SJFA coffers a bit more with the final yellow of the afternoon. Over the two matches Roselea were the stronger team and are worth their place in round 5.

Dyce  2  Montrose Roselea  2   (17/01/09)

Our long unbeaten run in cups continued with a draw against Roselea in the Scottish, but to be honest with the fixture backlog we needed a replay like a hole in the heid! In the end we have to be happy to still be in the competition, as we stareted pretty grimly. We looked nervous and couldn't put two passes together and needed Stevie Mur to head off the line in the 8th minute to prevent the visitors taking the lead. However on 10 Roselea were in front when a throw into the box was laid off for LONGMUIR at the adge of the box. His shot wasn't exactly of the piledriver variety but squirmed past the old bloke for the opener. 5 mins later it should have been all square when Hendo headed wide at the far post when it looked easier to score (well I would have netted!!). 8 mins after that we were level when Neisher went down in the box. A neutral behind the goal said there 'was contact but he made the most of it'. The debate could go on whether it was a pen or not, but it was given and NEISHER sent the keeper the wrong way for the equaliser. We then had a decent 10 min spell but Roselea hit back and took the lead for a second time on the half hour. Jaffa made a goal line clearance heading the ball out for a corner, but when the kick was taken it was headed goalwards and as the old mannie looked set to gather LONGMUIR deflected the ball into the corner to give the visitors the lead again. Jaffa should have equalised on 35 but when the ball fell at his feet 6 yards out from a cut back he did his best to hit the roof of the Montrose bus in the car park. He succeeded! Thankfully 2 mins later we levelled when a great move on the right saw Neisher put a great ball accross the face of the goal. Coley looked set to net but before he got near the ball CRAIG had diverted the ball into the bottom corner for an OG. The half ened with a flurry of yellows for a bit of handbags (both sides!)

The second period started with Neisher having a header blocked, then Rae volleyed over at the other end. Graham had the ball in the net for Roselea, but the whistle had already gone for a push in the box. Neisher then put in a great low ball accross goal and Coley only just failed to connect. At this point with 20 to go it was anybody's guess as to which side would come out on top, but the the visitors made a push in the final 20 and looked the more likely to grab a victory. In fairness to our lads the defending improved after the comic cut stuff in the first half, and as Roselea pressed that was needed. The old bloke made a couple of great saves- despite some earlier shaky moments, to keep Montrose at bay. Overall Roselea had the better of the posession, but yet we still almost grabbed a winner in injury time as two crosses flashed accross the face of the goal with no takers. Had we taken that chance it would have been a tad harsh on Montrose, so we have it all to do again next week. We'll worry about league fixtures later!

East End  0  Dyce  0   (03/01/09)

Whilst on trips down south I have visited the York and London Dungeons, which exhibit ancient forms of torture. Some are pretty gruesome, but standing watching this was on a par with any of them! It was freezing, there was the usual New Advocates slope, the pitch was bobbly as hell, the referee baffled everyone with some decisions, East End weren't particularly good and neither were we. We had a couple of chances in the opening 10 mins, with Coley having a shot deflected on to the post then Neisher having a free kick well blocked by Barney. Booth went close at the other end but his shot was held by the old bloke after it taking a slight deflection. The home side's Stewart collected a yellow for verbal on the quarter hour, and that would prove costly a while later. Coley then fed a great through ball to Jordan but his first touch was about as good as Darren Mackie's. Both sides continued to struggle to play any decent stuff, but from one half decent move a fine through ball found the Ginger One going clear towards goal. He was hauled to the ground and god only knows how it was deemed to be a fair challenge! Moments later Stewart's earlier yellow came back to haunt him as he clattered Jaffa late and picked up a 2nd yellow and off he went. From the free kick Dazzie looked like he wanted to be the first to play at the new Chris Anderson stadium as his shot flew high, wide, and not very handsome.

The second period saw the same scrappy stuff as the first. Stevie Mur collected a booking for taking down Smith, who himself had his name taken shortly after for his 26th foul of the game. Jaffa then fouled Harris and also had his name taken. If the ref had just went over and booked him fair enough, but it was only after several End players (including the keeper who ran 20 yards to voice his opinion!) bawled and screamed at the official to book him that he called Jaff back from the halfway line to take his name. And I thought the ref was in charge!! The home side's Keith and Webby of Dyce also boosted the League's fine kitty by getting themselves booked. Half chances were created at either and but neither keeper had much of note to do as far as direct shots go as the tedium continued. Thankfully the final whistle put us all out of our misery and lets hope for a big improvement next week.

Dyce  4  Jeanfield Swifts  1   (27/12/08)

Our incredible run of cup success continued with a resounding result against the Swifts. It was a funny kind of game, as we never at any stage dominated like the scoreline would suggest (well maybe we did for a 25 min period either side of half time!), but we defended well when required and took chances at the right time. The opening 20 saw the Swifts have the better of the posession, but without relly troubling the old bloke in goal. Neisher headed wide when we ventured forward but the dangerous Anderson did likewise at the other end. Just when the scribe was discussing with EE main man Richard E how nothing worth writing about had happened things started to happen. Firstly Swifts Thornton outpaced Stevie Mur and his cross/shot was parried by old mannie with Cooker completing the clearance. From there we went straight up the other end and opened the scoring on 26. Jordan found Webby on the right and he flighted in a teasing cross. The GINGER ONE ghosted in like a ghost (quote from his old man!) and headed past the stranded Mackie. Neisher fired one just wide moments later then on 37 mins it was two with a well worked goal. Cooker picked up the ball on the halfway line and released Neisher down the left. The beanpole worked his way into the box and squared the ball for COLEY to net from close range. This was proving to be our best spell of the game although when Swifts broke upfield Thornton was lucky to escape a yellow for clattering into the old bloke pretty late. The purple patch continued when on 43 mins the lead became three. Coley found NEISHER wide on the right and there didn't appear to be that much danger (well not from the side of the park we we watching from!!). However the lanky one burst forward for about 30 yards and unleashed a screamer from a tight angle. From our distance we didn't realise it was in until some team mates mounted Neisher from behind, then we realised it was a goal- we assumed it was a celebration and not jumping him from behind for any other reason! Soon after it could have been four. Nicol was yellowed for clattering  Jordan and Rivelinho, no sorry Dazzie, stepped up and forced a fine save from Mackie.

The second half continued where the first left off. Unfortunately the scribe was still collecting empties in the sponsors lounge when the cheer went up as the lead was increased. Apparently the ball fell to HENDO at the edge of the box. His left pegger was deflected past Mackie for the fourth, but as Hendo never stood his hand in the bar I think I'll put it down as an own goal. That was on 54 and on the hour the visitors grabbed a goal back. Our defending at a near post corner was grim to say the least, and after a ricochet or two the ball fell to HOLT at the far post and he rifled home form 6 yards. At this point we appeared to make the decision to defend the lead we had- which maybe wasn't a bad idea as we dont tend to lose too many. For the last half hour Swifts had the bulk of the posession but we were were well organised and ran out time to book our place in round 4 (for the first time!!).

Jeanfield Swifts  2  Dyce  2  (20/12/08)

Finally at the 4th attempt this 3rd round tie got the go ahead, only for it to finish all square meaning a replay next week. The opening 20 minutes or so really showed that we hadn't played for 5 weeks and Swifts for 4, as to be honest not that much happened and neither side was on top. Anderson headed against the post and Neisher had a shot blocked as both teams sobered up! Swifts then had a decent spell with Thornton shooting wide and Nicol's volley being held by the old bloke. We almost took the lead when a free kick broke to Jaffa at the edge of the box. He lobbed the keeper who was off his line but the ball went inches over. Hendo then had a go from 20 and his deflected drive forced a fine save from Mackie. Neisher headed the resultant corner over. Just as it looked like the half would end all square there was real controversy in stoppage time. Nicol tried to take on Cooker on the touchline and knocked the ball out. How the heck Swifts got the throw was beyond belief. It was taken quickly and the ball was crossed over to ANDERSON. Tony touched his header onto the bar and it dropped down. The old bloke insists the ball didn't cross the line, although Dazzie suspects it might have. Unfortunately for us the ref (who was in no position to see it!!!) decided it was in and we went in for the break a goal down.

The start of the 2nd period saw us get a break when old bloke saved well from Thornton and Holt blazed the rebound over. That seemed to give the lads a kick up the ass and we then took control of the game. Dazzie and Jaffa both fired over before Neisher collected the game's first yellow, although Thornton escaped with a similar tackle on the old bloke. Odd. At this stage we were dominating and it was no surprise when on 68 mins we grabbed an equaliser. A through ball found Neisher, and he ought to have scored. Mackie blocked his effort but the loose ball fell to COLEY who smashed home. Swift's Watt then had his name taken for a rugby tackle and shortly after we should have been in front. Coley's shot from an angle was well parried and the Ginger One looked set to net the rebound but shot tamely at Mackie. Eventually with 6 minutes left we took the lead when Hardie crossed and HENDO beat the keeper to the ball and poked home what looked like the winner. But Swifts came back and in the 4th minute of stoppage time a corner broke to FERGUS at the edge of the box and he lobbed the ball into the far corner with a fine finish. The ref apparently said after the game that he was just looking at his watch to blow for full time and when he looked up the ball was in the net......talk about late!! The game didn't even re-start meaning a replay to decide who will face St Rochs or Montrose Roselea in round 4.

Bunkry St Ternan  0  Dyce  2  (15/11/2008)

We collected a good 3 points at Bunkry on a right fine afternoon. With the bias heid on we could say that with 2 goals and a solid defensive performance we were worth the win, but anyone with a Bunkry bias might say that they did enough to merit getting something from the game. The scribe's honest heid will say that it was a good game and there was really nowt between the sides apart from 2 chances taken. We opened well with Stevie Mur heading over from a corner and Neisher having a shot deflected wide, but on 15 the old bloke had to look lively to block an effort from ex Dyce man Skinner. Jordan hit a 20 yarder which was well parried by Sim, and when he gathered the rebound Coley let him know he was in a game by knocking him to the turf. Neisher beat the keeper to a through ball but flicked it wide, then saints went to the other end and the old bloke saved well from a McRae shot. Just after the half hour we got our noses in front when a free kick was flicked on to NEISHER. He pranced round a couple of defenders like a prancing thing, rounded the keeper and netted. . 5 mins later we had a major let off when Horne cut inside and fired in a low shot. The old bloke saved well, but when the ball spun up McRae looked certain to score but headed over. Neisher went close before the break and from the resultant corner Coley headed inches wide.

Bunkry came out for the 2nd half on the attack as we expected, and Shand headed just over from a corner. A good passing move then released Luggy in the box but he shot straight at Sim. The old bloke then had a tantrum 10 mins in. Neisher then collected a yellow, though we're nae sure what for. Midway through the half Bunkry sub Donald had to drop his troosers. Well not quite but his undershorts were the wrong colour which is apparently an offence nowadays. Mrs Neish wasn't complaining however as she commented on the lad's 'peachy bum'. There continued to be nothing between the sides but with 15 to go we grabbed the all important second goal. We were awarded a free kick 25 yards out. After last weeks collectors item of a goal from DAZZIE there were a few shouts that there was 'nae fookin chance he'll score again'. He hit a great shot towards the top corner. If he had stood his hand after the game he may have been given the goal, but as he didn't it will go down as an o.g as the ball hit the bar then the back of the keeper before going in. Jaffa then made his weekly donation to the fine kitty by collecting his usual yellow, before the old bloke saved well from Horne and also Shand. Kelly blasted afree kick over in the dying seconds as we stood firm and collected the points. As said previously it was a tight game with neither dominating too much, but a welcome 3 points. Mr Whistler Graham Kidd also had a decent enough game. Obviously both sides will say there were decisons against them but in the Burnett Arms afterwards there was no mention of him which is the best sign that the whistler had a decent shift.

Turriff Utd  1  Dyce  2  (08/11/08)

An excellent first half performance paved the way to a win that takes us to our second cup final in 6 months, and our first appearance in the League Cup showpiece. We opened strongly and could have been ahead early doors when Luggy's shot was tipped onto the top of the bar by Buchanan. There were some appeals that Cole was impeded as he waited for the ball to drop but nowt given. Massie headed over from a corner at the other end, but were soon back on the offensive and a corner was played back to Jaffa who found Dazzie but he shot wide- his shooting would improve nae long after. Neisher cut the ball back for Cole and his shot was deflected wide, before Buchanan saved Luggy's header from the resultant corner. Turriff were rarely seen as an attacking force, but King did go on a mazy and looked in a dangerous position but fired wide. Then midway through the half we took the lead....and what a goal it was. We were awarded a free kick a full 35 yards out. Despite a few shouts nae to hit the fookin thing, DAZZIE stepped up and slammed it into the top corner. A screamer. We continued to play some good stuff and Tony didn't have anything to do, although Allan put accross one dangerous ball but there were no takers. At this point the officials were becoming the centre of attention with some baffling decisions. The ref made a couple of odd ones, but a some made by the assistants were almost laughable! Unfortunately it was a cup semi final and neither side were finding them very funny! Coley volleyed one inches wide as we threatened again then came another of those decisions. Neisher looked set to run clear from a through ball, until Massie dived to block it. He showed Lev Yashin type agility to get down and parry the ball, but for some reason no hand ball was given. Jordan was given the first yellow of the match for some verbak following another laughable corner kick award.

Now Turriff haven't beaten Culter twice, Lochee Utd and Rutherglen Glencairn away without being a decent side, and they came much more into things in the second half, but not before another laughable one. Stevie Mur was chasing a ball back and was tugged 2 or 3 times- eventually the ref blew with his sidekick waving frantically. God only knows why the sidekick wanted to award a free to Turra, but ref Beaton over ruled him- sigh of relief. 4 minutes later Turra's King talked his way into the book, again for querying a strange one. On 57 the home side were almost level when a quick move saw the ball fed through to Allan about 12 yards out, but Tony was off his line quickly and made a tremendous save. Turriff were enjoying a good spell and 20 mins into the half were level. We made a complete horlicks of defending a corner and following a stramash in the box McKINNON fired home from close range. Jaff then collected his weekly yellow for a tackle, nothing odd or laughable about that one- quite clearcut. What was also clear cut was when Cookie was taken late. What was odd was that the tackle was deemed legit! After settling down again after Turriff's good spell we took the lead again with quarter of an hour to go. We broke down a Turriff attack, and raced upfield with a quick break. We had 5 against 3 as support seemed to come from all over the place. Jordan found BAZZA with his pass and from 12 yards he found the bottom corner with the foot usually only used for standing on. £ mins later it could have been game over, as Jordan swung in a free kick and Coley's header looked to be heading straight into the top corner until Buchanan pulled of a great save. From then until the 89th minute we looked reasonably comfortable. Then for the last minute and stoppage time we certainly didn't. Turra threw everyone forward, hit the bar, put one wide, Tony saved, another wide but we managed to hang on despite several cases of heart failure on the sidelines and now look forward to another final. In the end both teams deserve cedit for serving up an entertaining match.

Dyce  2  Brechin Vics  0  (01/11/08)

For the first time in living memory we have made it through to round 3 of the Scottish. At times we made heavy weather  of winning the tie but in the end end it was a comfortable enough win. Prior to the game all gossip was about Neisher, and what a queer he looked turning up caked in make up with nails mair scarlet than the Brechin kit and his eyeballs. He blamed it on a haloween party the night before but suspicions are that he has just dicovered his feminine side. Within a minute of kick off he/she could have had us ahead but his/her header was well saved by Robbie, and he produced an even better save from the rebound.In amongst that passage of play we could easily have had a spot kick but nowt given. Webby and he'she had headers blocked on the line in the first half and Webby hit a very unlikely 35 yarder that went inches past the top corner. Vics didn't threaten much although Tony had to look sharp to save a point blank header from Skelly in the 16th minute. We were always in control although in all honesty it was pretty pedestrian stuff in the opening period.

The opening to the 2nd half was similar to the first, with She-Man having a header well saved. Greg D then had a shot deflected past the post and Cheyner crossed for She-Man but again his/her header was well saved by the impressive Vics keeper. By now we had started passing the ball more on the deck and were completely dominating and eventually after several chances on 65 mins we grabbed the lead. There was a cross played in, a shot, a rebound, another shot, another cross, a save , a rebound, a stramash, a punched clearance and in the end a header by the SHE-MAN to open the scoring. Sub Luggy then had a pot shot which was deflected wide, he had another go which was easily held by Robbie and Cheyner fired wide as we looked for a clinching second goal. He/She almost grabbed it latching onto a through ball but Robbie advanced to block well again. On 79 mins however the all important 2nd goal arrived, and a good 'een it was too. A throw was worked the the ginger one, and he laid the ball off to the SHE-MAN who fired a scorcher into the far corner. Croak had a late chance for the Vics but shot straight at Tony, and we should have had a spot kick when he/she was taken down as he was away to pull the trigger when going for his/her hat-trick. A fairly blatant one but nae given so nae chance for the she-man to grab a treble. The Ginger One and the He/She were both booked in the second half for fouls, fairly tame but understandable all the same. Although how the Vics full back survived without a yellow in the first half for hacking down Jaffa, and the also the centre for knocking the Cooker down was a tad bemusing. Anyhow onwards and upwards to a hopefully favourable draw in round 3.

Dyce  2  Hermes  0  (25/10/08)

Now traditionally games against Hermes are never the bonniest, but on this occasion although the same may be said it must be said that both teams did their best to try and play in conditions that were tricky to say the least (games at Culter and Funnybank were both posponed due to high winds- as a result of which the local press were in attendance). To say there was a fair wind was an understatement, and the wind had nowt to do with Norm's attempt at a mild curry at lunchtime with the match sponsors. Anyhoo it was game on and in the early stages Neisher went on a mazy and set up Coley who fired wide, then Webby had a chance at the far post but there's only pne outcome when Webby gets into the opposition box......and it aint a goal. Hermes then had a decent spell with some good play albeit without too much of a cutting edge. That was until Edmond burst through on the right and went into the box. Cookie charged accross Cookie style and launched into a last ditch tackle. One of two things would happen. Either it would be a goal saving tackle or he would launch their striker into the farmers field next door and concede a penalty. Thankfully it was the former. Then out of nothing midway through the half we grabbed the lead. Webby played a good ball accross the edge of the box to the advancing NEISHER and he first time slid the ball past Reid. Jaffa then collected his weekly yellow for a collision with Allsop, and the defender soon had to leave due to the head knock he picked up- hopefully nothing too bad. Coley had a netbound header blocked on the line as we seeked a 2nd but Hermes raced up the park and should have got themselves an equaliser. The ball was worked to Edmonds who had the freedom of the box but as he looked certain to score Tony narroed the angle and made a great block. Just after that on the half hour we doubled the lead when we won a corner as coley forced a tremendous save from Reid with a close range header. When the kick was played in the ball broke to Jaffa, who was scythed down as he prepared to shoot. NEISHER slotted home the spot kick with the German efficiency of the first 3 Downfield kicks the previous week.  Six minutes later our job became a tad more difficult when we were reduced to 10 men as Jaffa went up for a high ball with Dawson on the edge of the Hermes box. The ref awarded a free kick to Hermes which was fair enough, and let Jaffa stroll back into our half. Only when there were complaints from the Hermes guys did he call Jaff all the way back and issue a 2nd yellow. To be fair our lads didn't complain too much about the decision, which would indicate it may well have been correct- just odd that there was such a delay until the complaints! Even with 10 we should have scored again as Coley forced a brilliant save from Reid, with Webby heading the rebound wide.

The second half was, well, erm rather dull to be honest. We were against the gale a man short and to be honest at half time if the ref had blown for full time we would have taken the 2-0. Hermes had plenty posession in the second half, but they probably played better football in the opening period. with the wind at their backs they started shooting from distance, and weren't particularly accurate. Edmonds did force a good save out of Tony with a good shot on the turn, but the veteran keeper wasn't exactly overworked. The Ginger One could have notched a clincher at the far post but his shot was deflected wide thanks to a great tackle by  Campbell. Edmonds had another chance for Hermes at the other end but headed wide when unchallenged. In the end we held on comfortably for a welcome 3 league points amidst all the cup games.

Downfield  1  Dyce  1 -  Dyce won 5-4 on pens  (18/10/08)

In 9 years at Dyce I had never witnessed a victory in another region until this match. Despite creating numerous chances we needed a last minute equaliser and spot kicks to defeat the Dundee outfit.  We opened strongly enough and Coley hit a volley that was heading for the top corner until it was deflected wide. Jordan hit one that probably landed in Forfar, and the lads kept acting ballboy Norman busy with some wayward shooting. Andy's grand-daughter also deseves a mention at this point for her achievement in reaching the top of the mound behind the goal- she should have put up a union jack! Back on the park Ross Campbell headed a corner over and Jordan had another go from the edge of the box, but the keeper made a save for the camera's....unfortunately there weren't any. Tony easily held a header from Tinley as the home side struggled to create any clear opportunities. Neisher tried to catch the keeper out at his near post but found the side net, he the volleyed one over to keep Norman busy, then put one wide after a great piece of skill by Hardie. Just before the break another chance came and went when a corner broke to Stevie Mur and his net bound shot looked in until it hit Coley. There was still time before the break for Campbell to head over at the far post.

The second half followed a similar pattern with the Ginger One and Jordan combining to set up Jaffa who shot wide- by now Norm had retired from his ballboy duty. Neisher collected a quick throw and turned and hit one inches over with the keeper beaten. Campbell headed accross goal and Neisher sclaffed the ball wide and it looked like being one of those days. We were then entertained to a crufts show as a couple of mutts turned up at the side and looked interested in tearing strips out of each other. With 20 to go Campbell's header was well saved by Lindsay and a stramash followed but Downfield managed to clear the danger. In a rare opportunity at the other end Bremner headed over from a cross from the left. Shortly after the home side almost had a chance when the ball broke to Scott but he diverted the ball straight into Tony's arms. Jaffa was the first to see yellow with 10 to go, he will claim it was harsh as it was only his 34th foul. Campbell then hit a screamer of a volley just over and Jaffa hit the corner flag with a shot from 25 yards. Bill had said continually for 10 mins we would throw the game away by losing a daft goal- sure enough on 85 mins the lads obliged. Neisher got caught flat footed waiting for a pass, their lad skinned Jordan who looked as interested in getting back as I am in poetry, we had a lack of defensive cover and Cookie dived into a tackle in the box Cookie style. Only one outcome- spot kick. FRASER converted with German efficiency and the unlikely defeat looked a certainty. This was especially so when Coley found the side net with the goal gaping and Neisher's free kick clipped the top of the goal in the final minute. Then at last at the death NEISHER charged down a goal kick 30 yards out. He advanced into the box and luckily the net was strong enough to stop the ball from reaching Perth as it absolutely flew past Lindsay into the roof of the net. Into pens then and we got off to the worst possible start. Downfield netted their first three, whilst Jordan took our first and saw it saved. The Ginger One and Dazzie kept us alive at 2-3. Tovey made it 2-4, Neisher made it 3-4 with one left each. Donaldson hit Tony's right hand post and Ross Campbell made it 4-4. Into sudden death, Tony saved from Bremner. Even then we made it difficult as Coley saw his kick saved. Thankfully Downfield had lost their German touch completely now and missed a third consecutive one when Tony saved Payne's effort. Up stepped Greg Davidson  and he netted to give us a narrow but well deserved victory.

Funnybank  1  Dyce  3  (11/10/08)

We made our way into the semi's of the Grill League Cup for the first time in living memory with an excellent win against a Bank side we have now beaten 4 times on the bounce. Bank created several chances in the first half although we also looked dangerous ouselves but a great 2nd half showing saw us run out deserved winners. The opening exchanges were even enough with Somers heading wide for Bank then Jordans free kick being deflected wide at the other end. Tony flapped at a corner before redeeming himself with a great block from Fettes' shot. On the quarter hour a dangerous cross found the head of Fettes and his effort was turned over by Tony. Despite some bonkers claims he knew nowt about it Tony deserves credit for a top instinctive save. Fettes had another header well saved by Tony as Bank had a good spell of pressure. However it wasn't one way stuff as Neisher forced a good save from Pirie, although a square ball to Coley might have been a better option. Jaffa lashed one just over before the Ginger One shot straight at Pirie. Bank's Pirie went on a mazy then went down like a sack of spuds. A free kick was awarded and Andy Campbell was very unlucky as a great effort bounced off the top of the bar- a let off. Coley had a shot deflected wide and Hardie's header from the resultant corner was well held by Pirie.

The 2nd period saw us on the attack and the long ball saw Neisher, Elliot and keeper Pirie go for the ball. It broke to Neish but his shot was blocked. However 7 mins in we grabbed the lead when the ball broke to COLEY 15 yards out and he slotted past Pirie. 5 mins later the lead was doubled as a long throw into the box found NEISHER and he contolled the ball well before turning and volleying past Pirie. On the hour it should have been 3 when Neisher broke through (albeit he looked just a tad offside!!)- Pirie blocked well. Two minutes later a combination of Pirie and the post denied us another one when Neisher saw his shot tipped onto the post. Sub Greis had a chance at the other end but fired wide. On 74 the win was sealed when Jordan and Neisher combined to set COLEY away and he coolly slotted home number 3. A minute later it should have been four when Hardie went down the left and squared to Skinner. Unfortunately the ball seemed to trip him up and the white sphere got away scot free with the infringement!!! Shortly after Skinner made his second contribution of note by collecting a yellow. With 6 mins to go Bank grabbed a consolation when two of our lads went for the same cross and the ball fell to FETTES who finished well. Tony saved with his feet from Somers as Bank tried to get back into the game but by that time it was too little too late.

Buckie Rovers  1  Dyce  4  (04/10/08)

We managed to negotiate our way through a potentially tricky match in the opening round of the Scottish Cup at Buckie. We suspected it might be a bit chilly but when we arrived as well as being cold the rain was pelting down and there was a gale force wind blowing accross the park. An afternoon supping away in nearby Buckpool Golf Club was a definite temptation! But we braved the elements and saw a first half that we pretty much dominated but couldn't score. Neisher had a free header that went over before Jordan hit one wide from 20 yards. Moments later Jordan had another go and caught his shot sweet  but unfortunately for home defender Lamont the ball smacked off his nuts and he was only about 2 yards from Jordan when he let fly. Suffice to say he may not have got much action from his wife when he got home and has still probably got a squeaky voice. Neisher and Dazzie (correct spelling this week after he had a moan about being called Dazzy) both had efforts from distance well held then just before the break the ball was laid into the path of the Ginger One and his shot was brilliantly saved by Todd. from the resultant corner Neisher's shot almost landed in a bunker on the 14th at Buckpool.

Thankfully it didn't take long after the break for the 1st goal to arrive. Dazzie took a free kick from out wide and the keeper made his first mistake of the afternoon when he mis-judged the flight of the ball, understandable given that it was blowing about like a balloon in the wind. Anyhow the ball fell to COLEY and he turned and slotted home. On the hour Tony was brought into action for the first time when he blocked well at the feet of Smith. Sutherland shot over from 25 shortly after but we were soon up the other end again and after a stramash the Ginger One found number 10's back garden beyond the swings and roundabout behind the goal. Then out of nothing on 71 mins Buckie levelled when a quick thor found Smith and the turned and squared for PHILLIPS to net from 8 yards. It gave our lads a wee kick up the behind and only a minute later we were back in front when the ball was worked to NEISHER in the box and he slotted home. 9 mins later we made sure of the win when COLEY raced on to Tony's clearance and calmly netted his second of the afternoon. Things were looking great at this point as the scribe had predicted a 3-1 win but JAFFA spoiled that when in the final minute he nodded in number 4 from a far post corner.

Deveronside  0  Dyce  1  (27/09/08)

Our defence of the Regional Cup got off to a successful if uninspiring defence with a narrow victory over the Banffers in a game played at Deveronvale's Princess Royal Park. We started off fine with a through ball finding COLEY at the edge of the box and he held of his man and curled a fine right pegger into the far corner to give us the lead after just 7 mins. Jordan then swung over a corner which Dazzie kneed over the bar. 'Side came back into things and neat play set up Walker but his shot lacked pace and Tony held it. Leslie then had a chance but fired wide. Andy's deputy yes man Alfie was then ordered from the dugout, not for any of his Cameroonian moans or pantomine jumping around- but to get a pie for the boss! Some slack play almost cost an equaliser but Tony made a fine save to deny Davidson. Coley was then caught offside for about the 8th time after just half an hour. A great passing move down the right ended with Cheyner being blocked, and from the resultant free kick debutant Campbell's header was blocked by the keeper but fumbled, but the custodian scrambled the ball away by megging the Ginger One. Luggy headed another set piece straight at the keeper and Duncan then tipped Jordan's 20 yarder over the bar- shame the Green Final wasn't on the go to capture his dive (which was almost as good as one of Neishers later in the game!).

The second period started with Rae collecting the first yellow for a late tackle whilst Stevie Mur and his man exchanged handbags in the centre circle. Coley headed yet another corner over and was then offside again. 'Side came back and Tony fumbled a header goalwards but the ball was cleared then Cheyner collected a yellow for throwing the ball away and as a result will boost the association coffers by 4 quid for his trouble. The home side had a decent spell with Walker having a couple of good chances but he was off target both times. Deveronside were a youthful outfit but played some decent stuff over the 90 minutes but couldn't find a way through and it will be the blue and white hoops in the next round.

Dyce  0  Longside  1  (20/09/08)

The less said about this performance the better- which is fortunate as the scribe was entertaining the 2 sets of match sponsors all afternoon and didn't get round to writing a report. It was the first time in a competitive match this season that we haven't scored, and to be brutally honest we could have played until midnight and still not scored. It was a perfect day for a game but we just didn't get going. We perhaps shaded the opening half without being brilliant, as both sides seemed to cancel each other out. Tony did well to tip a 20 yarder onto the bar and Neisher forced a good save from the visiting keeper, and that was about it. Longside were the better side in the 2nd half, albeit without working Tony too much although he did have one excellent block. About quarter of an hour in came the only goal when Dazzie gave away a daft free kick beside the touchline. The ball was floated over to the far post and the marking was non existent as the big centre half headed home from close range. From then on Longside looked comfortable and were largely untroubled. A big improvement is needed as we face a run of cup games away from home.

Dyce  5  Lossiemouth Utd  1  (13/09/08)

After last weeks setback it was back to winning ways against Lossie in the Inter Regional Cup. In the end it was comfortable enough, but it certainly didn't start that way! With barely 90 seconds on the clock the Ginger One tried a square ball midway inside our half and it was intercepted by ex Huntly man marco De Barros and he found Lee MOIR with a through ball and he beat Tony to open the scoring. For the next 25 mins or so neither side really created much, but Lossie looked quite comfortable on the ball and we were pretty dire. Our only shot at goal in that period was when Cheyne laid the ball to Neisher and his shot cleared the fence and the ball was last seen en route to Newmachar. Just after the half hour we grabbed an equaliser out of nothing. Bazza sent in a cross from the left and the keeper seemed to hesitate. He then slipped, leaving COLEY with a simple task of volleying home. A minute later Whitlock was lucky to escape without a yellow for a late one on Stevie Mur. As usual Stevie had plenty opinion to offer the ref and duly did. Neisher then headed wide from about 4 and a half feet, but with just 3 minutes from the break we were in front. Unfortunately whilst the scribe was preparing half time refreshments the goal was missed. Apparantly Cheyner found NEISH with a throw in and the Peter Crouch lookalike turned and found the bottom corner. At this point Jordan decided to turn up.

We opened the second period far better than the first, with Coley heading wide at the far post......a sitter. However on 53 we grabbed the all important next goal. A ball over the top found NEISHER and he managed to outmuscle his man and send a shot accross goal towards the far corner. A stray snail had found it's way onto the park and actually seemed to move with more pace than Neisher's shot, but the ball somehow crept in at the post. Cookie then collected a yellow for a tackle exactly the same as the one Whitlock made earlier, but Cookie's was right in front of the watching ref supervisor. Obviously made a difference as he hidn't get away with it (didn't really deserve to either!). Lossie had a rare attempt at goal just after the hour when De Barros set up Ramage, but his effort took the same scenic route north as Neishers earlier blast. Neisher forced a fine save from keeper Fox with a header from a corner, then Cheyner fired wide. We just about called a taxi for Cheyner when he made space for himself well but then just about hit the pie munchers at the shop with his cross. He fared better moments later when he set up a brilliant 4th goal. He skinned De Barros and Mitchell at the bye-line when there appeared to be no space at all, cut the ball back to Skinner, who laid it into the path of NEISHER and the beanpole slammed in his 3rd of the afternoon. Even Webby was getting forward and when he had a go for goal it ended up with the inevitable.....well over the bar. There was time for one more though right at the end, when Skinner was bundled over in the box and a penalty was given. Certainly not one of the stonewall variety, but  not very often we get those. NEISHER moved as quick as he had done all day to get the ball to make sure he was taking it. The greedy sod obviously wasn't happy with the hat-trick and buried the spot kick to round off the scoring.

Banks O'Dee  4  Dyce  2  (06/09/08)

The teams with the two stingiest defences last season met at Spain Park with all expectations being another tight match with few goals.....how wrong! With only half an hour played there had been 4 goals and a missed penalty. We opened ok, with Neisher trying his luck from 20 but his shot was easily held by Forbes. In the 6th minute Dee took the lead thanks to some woeful defending (this would continue throughout the game!). A corner was floated to the far post and Tony couldn't decide to come for it or stay on his line and the defence looked like they were world champs at musical statues and LONG was given a free header, 0-1. Thankfully only two mins later we were level with afine equaliser. The ball was pleyed in to Coley and he laid it off first time to NEISHER who's first time shot flew into the bottom corner. On the quarter hour we had it all to do again thanks to some more comic cut stuff at the back. A crossfield pass saw Webby try and tie himself in knots- he seemed to succeed as the ball went over him leaving TAYLOR free to fire past Tony. 10 mins after that it could have been 3 when Dee were awarded a spot kick. Taylor took a tumble rather easily in the box under a challenge and there didn't seem to be any appeal for a spot kick. Maybe more tellingly none of our guys complained about it so very possibly the right decision. Tony mage a fine save from Saciffe's kick and an even better one from Watt's effort from the rebound. With 30 mins on the clock we took advantage of that let off with a brilliant equaliser. The ball was played to CHEYNER at the corner of the box and he took one touch and leathered a screamer into the top corner. Carstairs missed a sitter for the dee when he headed over from about 4 yards.....definitely one from the Van Vossen book of misses. So all square at the break which was probably about right- unfortunately then came the second half. Not really that much happened of note, until with 20 mins left more mickey mouse defending gave CARSTAIRS space in the box and he finished well. Dee sealed the points with 7 mins left when a good break saw the ball played into STAINER. Again we could have cleared the danger but we clearly were in a generous mood and the striker made it four. I suppose after our unbeaten start we were alway going to lose a game at some point and away to the champions isn't a disaster, but it really would have been better if we made them work harder for their goals- we got two excellent ones ourselves and spoiled the good work with some rank rotten defending.

Dyce  2  Banchory St Ternan  1  (30/08/08)

We clinched top spot in our Grill Cup section after overturning a one goal deficit against Banchory at Ian Mair Park. It was certainly a game of two halfs as we just weren't at the races in the opening period with Saints deservedly a goal up at the break, but changes made at half time helped turn things round. The visitors had the first chance when Brooks fired wide from a good position, before Bazza had a sclaff at the other end parried by the post. Neisher's free kick then just about hit the training area before Dillon hit the same spot from 25 yards. Saints were playing some good football from box to box but their final ball was letting them down. Just before the half hour they came close when Horne broke down the left and his low cross found Donald just 8 yards out. He looked certain to score but Tony made a great block before the ball was cleared. Just two minutes later however Saints grabbed the lead. Ogston went on a mazy and was impeded but had a clear advantage. He subsequently lost the ball but the ref saw fit to then call play back and award the free kick despite playing the advantage. A great cross was played to the far post and as we stood still COOPER found space to finish well and give Bunkry a lead they merited at that point. Only then did we start to look anything like dangerous and Neishers cross shot was tipped over and Lee Milne headed the corner over.

H - T  0 - 1

Saints almost went two ahead just after the break when Jaffa lost posession and the ball was worked to Downing but his shot clipped the top of the bar and went over, although Tony looked to have it covered. We then started to look much more dangerous with Jordan on in the middle and Cheyner marauding down the right. A lay off in the box found Hendo but his mis-hit was never going to trouble anything but the corner flag. Jaffa then had a goal bound shot deflected over for a fuitless corner. Cheyner burst down the line and was scythed down. It was certainly outside the box and no way a penalty, but how the ref didn't award a free kick was mystifying to say the least. On 58 a cross was cleared out to Bazza and his right pegger from 20 yards smacked off the post with the keeper beaten. Just minutes later though we were back on level terms when Bazza'a far post cross found HENDO and he smashed a volley into the top corner- had the net not been there Hendo might well have found the ball in the city centre whilst out on the lash later. Neisher then burst doen the left and as he shot seemed to be taken from behind but nowt given. Sim parried the shot wide for another corner which camke to zilch. With 20 to go we got the winner and it was an ex-Saints player who grabbed it. Cheyner made space again on the right and his cross found former Banchory striker COLEY and he buried a header past Sim. Saints pushed in the final 10 to try and get back on level terms but despite playing some good stuff their final ball let them down. Overall it was a decent game with both teams probably being pleased with half of the game.

Cruden Bay  1  Dyce  8  (23/08/08)

(Report by Norman, edited by the absent scribe). After days of wondering whether Bay would manage to field a team, not only did they have a starting 11 but also 4 subs! That was surprise number one, and after just 7 minutes came the second when the Bay took the lead. McDonald turned Dazzy and although Tony got a hand to his shot McMULLEN followed up to score. This gave the players a kick up the ass and within 5 minutes we were level when the GINGER ONE rifled home from 15 yards after Fraser had blocked Coley's shot. Minutes later we were in front when the Ginger One this time set up COLEY for a great header into the roof of the net. Just before the half hour the lead was extended when COLEY stooped low to head a Dillon cross past Fraser. On 40 minutes Cookie chased a short back pass as the keeper came out. There was only going to be one outcome of this 50/50 challenge.......and that was the keeper lying pole-axed as COOKIE netted. Just on half time came number five as NEISHER went on a mazy past several defenders and was brought down in the box. Despite numerous shouts to let Coley grab a hat trick Neisher's hearing somehow deserted him for a minute as he placed the ball and netted easily.

H-T  1-5

The second period started with Neisher in goal for Tony who we knew had to leave after 45. He was untroubled as we attacked again and before long it was six when DILLON 'did a Bergkamp' (Normski's description, not mine!)- he flicked the ball over his marker, rounded him and passed the ball into the net. Neisher was getting bored at this point an entertained the 'sell out' crowd to an exhibition of diving then rolling about like a pig in sh*t when collecting a harmless ball rolling accross the penalty box. It was possibly worthy of a diving medal and Balmedie rather than Beijing. He then shouted at an advancing Bay striker 'shoot now coz yer nae goin to score'. He was right, he didn't score. Dazzy then flashed past 4 defenders (i wish i had seen that!) and smacked a 20 yard shot off the bar. Hendo was then in a great position to set up Coley for a hat trick chance but went for glory instead.....and didn't get any. JAFFA soon made it seven when he mistimed his jump and the ball cannoned off his leg and crept in. It was one way traffic as Skinner hit the post and both Coley and the Ginger One hit the bar, but with 5 minutes left the final goal arrived when Hendo det up DILLON to head home his second of the match.

.

Dyce  3  Hillhead  1  (19/08/08)

Our league campaign got off to a winning start with a slightly flattering victory over Hillhead at Ian Mair Park. It was dreich evening and players from both sides found it difficult keeping their feet in the slippery conditions. The opening half hour saw a distinct lack of clear chances, but it was the visitors who seemed to be coping better in the conditions and who had the bulk of the posession without troubling Tony too much. Just before the 30 minute mark saw Park saw Lee Milne's close range header easily but on 31 we grabbed the lead. Alfie fired in a fierce shot from a tight angle which Park did well to Parry. The rebound fell to BAZZA who fairly lashed in a volley which had it not been for the net would have landed beyond the river at the back. 10 minutes later a neat lay off from Cole at the edge of the box found BAZZA again and his low right footer found the bottom corner for the second.  The visitors Darren Pyper was booked for a late tackle and it was to prove costly later on.

H-T  2 - 0

With only two minutes played in the second period Hillhead were right back in it when a cross from the left found ALLAN who's first time effort beat Tony to pull one back. There then followed spell of tough tackling with Cheyner booked for a bad tackle in front of the dugouts. Hillhead's Allan followed soon after and then Stephen also saw yellow for clattering Alfie after he had skinned him. Things calmed down again and both sides had half chances but nothing that forced either keeper into much action, but with 15 to go Pyper made some sort of comment to the ref (obviously non too complimentary) and was handed a second yellow and Hillhead were forced to play the final spell with just 10. This proved costly on 80 when Neisher's diagonal ball found DILLON, and the ex Hillhead man chested the ball down before shooting. His first effort was blocked but he rolled home the rebound. Hillhead had a chance to pull one back late on when they awarded an indirect free kick inside the box. No-one seemed to know what it was for (it was at the opposite end of the ground and getting dark!) but the consensus was it was probably for a passback. The shot was deflected over for a corner, and after Cookie fired just wide at the other end the game finished and we had 3 points in the bag.

Dyce  2  Glentanar  1  (16/08/08)

We remain in a strong position to qualify from our Grill Cup section after a narrow win against a spirited Glens outfit. We were only a goal up at half time despite dominating and creating several clear chances, but when the first division side equalised after the break it really could have gone either way. We opened well with Jaffa forcing a decent save from Willox, then a great move ended with us being too fancy in the box and trying to walk the ball instead of someone leathering it- much to the dismay of a rather animated Alfie who was in the dugout. When that move broke down there was a scare when Glens broke upfield and Leslie seemed to mishit a cross which forced Tony to back pedal and tip the ball onto the bar, with Webby heading the rebound off his own post before we cleared the danger. We were soon back on the attack and Skinner had a great chance but couldn't control the ball only 6 yards out. Midway through the half we eventually grabbed the lead when Neisher's dummy beat his man (dont think Neishy really meant it as he almost tangled himself up!), and slipped a pass to Greg Davidson. His pinpoint cross found the bonce of SKINNER and he headed home for a fine opener. Bazza forced a great save from Willox, Davidson was through and did likewise then Bazza just failed to reach a far post cross as we should have added to the tally.

H-T   1 - 0

The second period started in the same manner, and Davidson had the ball in the net but was flagged offside, the Jaffa did well to turn his man inside the box and having done the difficult part made a horlicks of the shot and fired wide. Just when it seemed a matter of time before we scored again Glens equalised out of nothing. A crossfield ball found SANGBARANI and he lobbed Tony for the equaliser. This gave the visitors a lift and Tony had to save well from Kennedy's close range effort before Neisher was off target a couple of times at the other end. Kennedy had another chance for the Glens but shot narrowly over and at this point there wasn't much in the game and both sides could have won it. Jaffa headed just over and with only 4 minutes left the winner came and thankfully for us it came our was. Stevie Mur played in a far post cross and NEISHER did well to head back accross the keeper into the far corner to win the 3 points.

East End  0  Dyce  1  (12/08/08)

Our unbeaten start to the season continued with a hard fought win at New Advocates Park against an East End side who were trying to protect a 100% record. The term winning ugly comes to mind after this one though. Not much happened early on apart from a few of us having a laugh at End secretary Dougie Yeats who missed most of what was going on as he acted ballboy....in saying that he wasn't missing much. Tackles then started coming from both sides and Webby and Cheyner both had their names taken. Now we were honest enough in our opinions in that a couple of bookings in the Stonehaven game were an utter joke, so we'll be honest here and admit that these two had no complaints whatsoever as they were as clear as they come. Bazza and Yeats of the home side were fortunate not to join them. Then in the last 15 of the opening period we starting creating chances and really should have been ahead at the break. Skinner volleyed one just wide with the keeper beaten, Bazza smacked one off the post with Skinner's effort from the rebound being blocked, Neishers header was tipped over the bar then Jaffa hit one just wide from a corner- but the goal wouldn't come.

H-T 0 - 0

The second period started with End creating the first chance but Steel headed wide at the far post then Kirkwood headed over. The home side's Yeats was eventually booked and then following that incident just after the hour we grabbed the lead. A corner from the left was swung in and Stuart COLE made a great run to peel off his marker and head into the roof of the net. He then had another chance but stumbled as he was away to shoot. Lee Milne was next in the book for persistent fouling and Steel of End was also cautioned, his being for some verbal. Coley could have had a hat-trick in the closing minutes as chances came his way but the lead remained slender as time ticked away. End were having bags of posession but didn't really trouble Tony too much until injury time. Dillon had his name taken for a foul, and the free kick was swung in to Steel, but his header didn't have enough direction and Tony saved well. There was a distinct lack of flowing football from either side, but a win is a win and it keeps us in the hunt for qualification from the group.

Stonehaven  1  Dyce  1  (09/08/08)

We dropped our first points of the Grill Cup campaign and lost our first goal but in the end we cannot be too upset at taking just the one point away to a Super League side and in a match that saw us finish with just nine men. Obviously all comment afterwards was about the referee, and as he clearly wanted to be centre of attention we'll concentrate on him first-

1) Sending off of Lee Milne. Difficult one this. His first booking was never a yellow- a good clean tackle. His second one was as blatant as they come- no arguments. Ref had no option but to send him off, but in saying that he shouldn't have been on the first booking. That was after 40 so over half the game played with 10.

2) Jaffa's red. First booking for standing up and saying 'that's sh*t'  to the whistler. We could accept that booking more easily if some action was taken when the Hive full back said straight to the ref's face 'for f*ck sake you pr*ck'. His second booking was for a tackle which caused some confusion. Some said Jaffa did catch the lad, yet ref signalled a free kick for Dyce as Jaffa had a stud mark from his knee to his ankle. He then changed his mind and awarded Stoney the free kick and we were down to nine for the last quarter hour.

3) He ignored his linesman's flag when attacker clearly offside (this happened in BOTH half's and went against both teams)

4) An absolutely woeful decision when Neisher was clattered from behind by TWO defenders at once. No fould given, Neisher asked why and was booked. Again no consistency with verbal (see the f*cking pr*ck incident above!!).

Anyhow, enough about him as in awful August conditions both sides put on a decent game of football. Hive dominated posession early on but didn't trouble Tony, then we came more into things but likewise didn't threaten Smith in the home goal. Both keepers comfortably held long distance efforts before Neisher and Bazza both went close just before the break.

H-T 0 - 0

We started the second half really well despite being a man short with Smith parrying Neisher's shot and Greg davidson firing the rebound over. Neisher then turned and hit one that looked net bound until Barbour blocked it. Robb sent in a low drive at the other end which Tony held well then Dazzy's long ranger almost landed in the Cowie river. But midway through the half we took a deserved lead when a great move down the right ended with Cheyner crossing for NEISHER to bullet a header into the roof of the net. We looked to be in complete control of things with the ten men, but when down to nine it's a different game. With just 8 mins left a cross form the left was headed past Tony's outstretched arm by FOY for the equaliser. The lads were by now understandably cream crackered but they dug in to see out the last  few mins despite a couple of scares for a thoroughly deserved point. The only annoying thing is that with either 10 or 11 men on the park we surely would have had all 3 points.

Dyce 5  Fraserburgh Utd 0  (05/08/08)

We maintained our 100% record with our 2nd win on the bounce against the Broch. It was a much improved performance compared to Saturday and is more like what we expect. The early stages were even enough and we went close in the 9th minute when Jordan fired a 25 yard free kick inches wide with keeper Turriff beaten. However 2 mins later we were ahead when a great passing move ended with Neisher crossing for Greg DAVIDSON (the smallest guy on the park!!) to head home. We started to take control and after a further 10 mins doubled the lead. Tony found NEISHER with a long clearance and the beanpole contolled the ball well before outpacing Noble. When he reached the box he curled a great left footer into the top corner off the far post. The one way traffic continued and just 2 mins after that came goal number 3 and it was fair screamer. Davidson intercepted a pass and played a diagonal pass to NEISHER. He took one touch and blasted one into the same tope corner, this time with the right peg. Had it not been for the net the ball may well have ended up in a Newmachar back garden. With the game pretty much over we eased off a bit although in the last couple of minutes before the break Milne headed straight at Turriff and Neisher brought a fine save out of the keeper.

H-T 3 - 0

We started the second period on fire and within 6 minutes had added a further two goals. First Neisher flicked on a free kick to DAVIDSON, who held off his man and slotted home. Then on 51 mins Hendo played a great through ball for DAVIDSON to run on to and he calmly finished for his third of the evening.Milne then headed over as it threatened to become a rout, and there was a real stramash in the goalmouth after a free kick that was eventually cleared. Noble of the Broch was the first to see yellow for a bit of verbal, and with 10 to go the visitors were reduced to ten men when Johnstone was given a straight red for some not too friendly comments made to ref Kerrigan. Their coach Dale Allan then invited Kerrigan to 'keep his fat arse up with play' and was promptly ordered from the dugout for his opinion. Bazza was on a mission to get a goal and smacked one off the bar from 20 yards and then headed wide at the far post. He could still be playing now and not have scored!

Lewis Utd 0 Dyce 1  (02/08/08)

Our Grill Cup campaign got off to a winning start but it was far from convincing stuff against newly promoted Lewis at Lads Club's Woodside pitch. Both teams had excellent defensive records last season and it was obvious why on this showing. The Celtic lookalikes from Lewis had the first chance when a through ball found Smith but Tony was off his line like Dwain Chambers (without the illegal assistance) and made an excellent block. We hit back and Jaffa volleyed one over shortly after. On the quarter hour Jaffa headed the ball out and chairman Norm tried to use his skill from (many) years gone by to control the ball but took a tumble. A scandalous piece of simulation that surely deserved a yellow. The fisrt booking did soon arrive however and Jaffa was the first to boost the season's fine kitty by catching Cruickshank late. Lewis' Erskine soon followed for an identical foul on Webby. And as far as excitement goes that was about it for the opening 45. Unfortunately the ground sharing arrangements of the Celt looking lads and the fact the ground being used is of a club in abeyance there were no pies for Auton guzzle through.

H-T  0-0

Neisher headed wide from a corner just after the restart but on 54 minutes the deadlock was broken just when it looked like the game had 0-0 written all over it. NEISHER turned at the corner of the box and curled in a cross towards the back post. Bazza was rushing in but didn't get a touch and the ball crept into the bottom corner. The lads should know that the scribe is always open to bribes and if either had offered suitable remuneration they would have bee credited with a stunning 20 yard shot or a deft far post finish depending who offered the most. Two minutes later Morrison shot straight at Tony as the green hoops tried to get themselves level. Hendo had a great chance to finish the tie but took his eye off the ball at the far post, or maybe his hair got in the way. With quarter of an hour to go we had a real let off when Morrison turned at the edge of the box and crashed a shot off the bar and the rebound was cleared to safety. That was the end of the action and in the end the result was certainly better than the performance.